


Misfits make their own family

by RoxInSocks



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Withdrawal, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Blood and Violence, Cuddling & Snuggling, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Feelings Realization, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Hypnotism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lots of denial, Minor Original Character(s), Miscommunication, Multi, Polyamory, Self-Harm, Serious but also very stupid content, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Threesome - F/M/M, Touch-Starved, Tropes, Trust Issues, Vampire Bites, they aint gonna fuck until like chapter 25 or something at this rate, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2019-09-06 10:56:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 74,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16831252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoxInSocks/pseuds/RoxInSocks
Summary: The scholar, the soldier and the hunter are dragged into an improbable alliance by fate, necessity, or maybe simply the luck of falling down the right hole. The journey is bound to be bumpy ride from the start, but outcasts always have more in common than they want to admit. Maybe this hellish apocalypse is a blessing in disguise for the three of them after all.No plots, barely planned, making it up as I go, all feelings. Follows approximately the events of the Netflix series of Castlevania from the ending of season 1 to the ending of season 2.





	1. Off to a rocky start

**Author's Note:**

> I have absolutely no idea where I'm going with this in the long run. 
> 
> I've added what tags I know will be brought up but more will be added along the way and probably warnings too. If you see something I should have tagged don't hesitate to tell me. I'm very new at this. 
> 
> POV will change between the 3 characters randomly with pretty much every chapters and they won't all be the same length either. 
> 
> Rating might go up too. Who knows. Certainly not me. 
> 
> I just have a lot of feelings about that series and I needed a place to dump them so might as well share them on the way.
> 
> Also I'm french so forgive my spelling and grammar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been proofread :O by the lovely [ Relagorikt! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relagorikt/profile)

Amongst all the things Trevor expected to happen after his little visit to Gresit and encounter with the “not minding their own business” speakers,  _ this… _ was not it at all.

He still had trouble understanding how he had gotten himself into this position as he followed their new “friend” out of the Dracula-esque catacombs. He could still feel an uncomfortable itch in his hair, the ghost sensation of nails on his scalp and he hated it. The more he looked at the vampire, the more he seemed to feel it. It was extremely annoying and it made him uneasy. Or maybe it was just the vampire’s presence. Well, he would have to get used to that, wouldn’t he?

This was all beyond messed up. Two days ago he was dead drunk, puking his guts out in a little town he couldn’t even remember the name of. Now he was suddenly on his way to kill the world’s most powerful vampire with the help of a young, reckless, inexperienced, all too idealistic for her own good speaker magician and a  _ “soldier” _ , the son of said vampire; Who was also a vampire. He was throwing his lot in with a demon of the night now, that was just great. Not a fan of that part either really. He could practically feel his father’s belt on his ass. He wasn’t a kid anymore, but if his old man was still alive, adult or not, he’d be hitting Trevor like there was no tomorrow right now. Good thing he wasn’t there to see this he supposed. It was a goddamn story out of a book and to be perfectly honest, he would have preferred not to be part of it.

Despite his conversation with the elder and his little over the top speech with the clergy fuck earlier, he had still half hoped to continue on his way and put this all behind him. But since it was clear now that probably every city he’d meet from now on would just be the same as this one, it did put a stop to the plan. That and the fact that despite what he told himself, the will to rise up from his own pile of shit and do something worthwhile was quite overwhelming. There was no denying that killing monsters again had felt, well, he wasn’t sure what word to use. Proper? Intended? Good? Jesus Christ, it was nerve-racking how much he didn’t want to feel the way he felt now. This was not him. This was not the him he knew and lived with for the past years. Not  _ “Trevor the drunken wanderer” _ . He felt like Trevor Belmont, House of Belmont, last son of the Belmont family. He sure as hell hadn’t been that person in forever. But somehow it seemed like it was as much in his blood, a hereditary condition present in him since birth, as well as indoctrinated in him. Images and sounds of his childhood were suddenly resurfacing. The training. The education, unlike any other boy his age. The hunt practices. The downright propaganda of the family business. His father pestering him with stories of past glories and destiny and other crap about their family and the legacy of whatever. His insistence on how his son would achieve great things as all Belmonts were meant to. All those years of ramming ideas in his little head, Should it really surprise him that he was feeling this sudden sense of obligation now?

He had forgotten all about that long ago, with his father executed, his family persecuted, their estate burned and his own honor, sense of duty, and aspiration to greatness thrown in the muddiest gutter. And now here he stood, in a broken city that ironically would have been even more broken if not for him. A city that shunned him and his family for the very thing that saved them tonight. Doing his family’s work as intended by destiny, his father would say. And for what? So that they could somehow blame him for their misfortune once the memories of today’s battle faded? Maybe. Still, it had felt right, and God knew that nothing had felt even remotely right in the past years. Trevor had long made peace with the fact that his life would never amount to much. He had expected to die of hypothermia or starvation, or both, sometime before he ever reached his thirty. Even if deep down he had still hoped to die a Belmont’s death, battling demons and saving his country, his lifestyle nowadays hadn’t really put him up for that. He had never felt like the country deserved the help either. But tonight, he had tasted an ever so small parcel of his family glory and even though he would never voice the thought, he did long for the lost recognition his last name once commanded. Maybe it was in equal part a thirst for vengeance somehow. To have the people who made your life a nightmare be indebted to you. Before tonight, he wouldn’t have considered it seriously. He sure as hell wouldn’t have stopped to think about all of these bullshit feelings that were just so cheesy and melodramatic, it was starting to make him nauseous.

And yet, here he was. He was stuck waist-deep in what could only be described as the universe’s most cruel joke, intertwined in some old speaker prophecy about his family’s nemesis and his crucial role in bringing his demise. Again, it felt like a made-up story, a book written by a guy with too much imagination. It would have made an epic tale he supposed if it wasn’t for the fact that he was the only demon hunter left in the land, that the good people of Wallachia didn’t want his help despite needing it deeply and most importantly, that he was supposed to go on this journey with a bloodsucking beast.

Maybe that's what made him nauseous.

He wasn’t sure if it was his uncharacteristic silence or maybe the way his eyes were burning holes into the back of his newfound monstrous ally, but the speaker beside him soon looked back with disapproving eyes.

“Belmont.” Her tone was so accusatory. He had known the girl for barely a day and he was already getting used to the sound of his name being thrown at him with that exact intonation. It didn’t bode well for the rest of this little adventure. “I can nearly feel your sulking. What is it?”

Trevor scoffed as he kept looking at the demon walking in front of them, his eyes narrowing and his brows furrowing even more if that was even possible. He was angry about the situation, about himself, about everything and everyone. He wasn’t about to admit that though. Oh no, it was much easier to glare at the vampire before him and put the blame on it. He was pretty fucking angry about that too anyway. “You’re really asking me that?” He asked quietly, throwing a hand up at the vampire briefly. “You already know the answer.”

“We haven’t made it out of the catacombs yet and you’re already making this difficult. I had hoped the subject was close.” Alucard stopped in his tracks when he heard the other man’s voice. He glanced behind him, his eyes matching Trevor’s in irritation. “Whether you like it or not, defeating my father will take more than just your trusty whip and a prayer. We need each other to achieve the impossible. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be to get our job done. Truly Belmont, you of all people should understand th-”

“Listen you bloody asshole,” Trevor grunted before Alucard could finish his train of thoughts. “You’re a fucking vampire and I’m a vampire hunter. What were y-”

“A vampire hunter much out of practice. Who hasn’t killed a creature of the night in how long? Do you even consider yourself a hunter still?”

“I killed plenty of them tonight, thank you very much. Besides, if you want to believe in that prophetic bullshit and go on with it, I’m the only hunter you’ve got.” Trevor managed to reply, almost politely. He impressed himself even at how he managed to keep his cool. “But yeah, maybe I’m out of practice. If I wasn’t, you’d be dead. A pile of ashes next to your coffin. So be thankful dickhead.”

Sypha lost her temper before Alucard could reply with his own witty remark. And Trevor just knew the guy had one on the tip of his tongue. “That’s enough! Can we at least wait until we’ve defeated Dracula before killing each other!”

The vampire immediately bowed his head in acknowledgement, dropping the subject and stopping the childish provocations from continuing. Or so he thought. Trevor was much less humbled. As Alucard took a step to continue their route, the other man couldn’t help but mutter under his breath. “I really don’t know what you were expecting my reaction to be.”

“I expected you to act as a Belmont.” The blond replied quickly, not even bothering to look back at the hunter. “To do what you have to in order to protect this land, no matter what.” There was a small pause as if he was pondering if what he was going to say was really necessary. Apparently, he decided it was. Piercing golden eyes locked on tired blues as he glanced behind his shoulder. “But I suppose that’s too much to ask. This so-called  _ ‘hunter’ _ I was expecting turned out to be just a lost man who reeks of blood, shit, and cheap booze.” He laughed as he shook his head and walked forward again. ”Having a family crest embroidered on your tunic does little to hide the drunken parody of a Belmont you impersonate.”

The only thing that kept another fight from breaking out was Sypha stepping in front of Trevor, staring at him with enough fury in her eyes to counter his. “Enough!”

He scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest, fists and jaw tight as he looked away and resumed walking. “Whatever. When you wake up one day with two holes in your neck and a liter of blood missing, I  _ will  _ say  _ ‘I told you so’ _ .” God this was going to be such a pain in his ass. Why was he even provoking him? Being a monster of the night wasn’t enough, he had to be an arrogant son of a goat on top of it. He didn’t like his attitude and he certainly didn’t trust him either. But they shared a common goal, a goal that seemed hopeless if they didn’t all agree to do it together. So despite everything, he wasn’t  _ that _ against this alliance of convenience. It wasn’t going to stop him from hating bat boy and all this goddamn situation in general though.

Before he could catch up with the vampire, Sypha grabbed his arm and turned him around, lowering her voice in an irritated whisper. “I know that this is a lot to ask of you, but please.” Her expression softly changed into a subtle pleading stare as her grip on his arm tightened considerably. “At the very least, give him the benefit of the doubt. Let him prove to you he’s not a monster. Let him prove his resolve in this.”

Trevor shrunk under her gaze and his eyes darted away from hers, uncomfortable with her words. He took his arm out of her grip gently, a deep sigh escaping his lips before he could stop himself. “Well, I haven’t killed him yet, right? Seems like a good proof of my goodwill.” He replied exasperatedly, eyes rolling, instead of ‘I’m sorry, I have a lot of mixed feelings about all this and I’m not good at dealing with them when I’m sober.’

“We will never get another chance like this.” She continued, ignoring his little comment. She withdrew her hand under the big sleeves of her speaker robe, looking up at him with all the determination of a child who just won’t accept no for an answer. “Alucard is right. You of all people should understand this. He is the most powerful ally we could ever hope to get in this fight, and I will not have you spit on it because of your prejudice. This...” She gestured vaguely at him. “...is not the man I fought alongside with back in the town square. You care, Trevor Belmont. You care for the people of Wallachia more than they deserve. If that is the truth, then you will stop acting like a spoiled child and more like the man you should be. A man who will do whatever it takes to kill Dracula!” Her last words left her mouth with so much emotion it made heat rise to her cheeks and her fists shake. She brushed past him to join Alucard who was now much further ahead. “Even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.”

Trevor stood still for a moment, bewildered. Stepping out of his comfort zone? Is that what it was to her? What kind of bullshit statement was that?! Hell, he didn’t even have a comfort zone. He hadn’t been in his  _ “comfort zone” _ since he was thirteen. He slept in the wild under trees for god’s sake. Trevor Belmont had no fucking comfort zone. It was a danger zone, all year round.  _ This _ was not about comfort zone it was about fucking principle and-

“You’re falling behind Belmont.” He heard Alucard’s voice further up the tunnel, taking him out of his inner monologue. “Please keep up, before you get lost.”

Trevor repressed whatever obscenities were building up in his throat as well as the overwhelming need to punch a hole in something. Anything. God, he hated him already. So fucking much. He looked too much like a man, while at the same time too much like something entirely not human. With his perfect white skin and perfect shining hair and weird sense of fashion and his speech that just screamed nobility and calm. Barely waking up and yet fresh like a daisy and beating his ass. Even if he repeated himself that their little match was a draw, deep down he knew that had Alucard wanted to truly kill him, he would have. It only made him more furious. He wanted a rematch. Now. He wanted to throw his rage at something instead of just fumbling with his own thoughts and feelings like a damsel. Alucard was a perfect outlet for that. He wanted to fight, throw him off, make him lose his composure. See the beast he knew was hidden under the false pretense of a civilized man. Maybe then this maelstrom of conflicted emotions inside him would quiet the fuck down while he focused on that.

As if feeling his sudden need for violence, Sypha looked back at him again, soft eyes pleading for peace, for a truce, for a moment of respite after their long and tumultuous day. It was as if she had cast a spell on him, a rain of ice to break the fire spreading in his veins. He looked down at the hand that had come to rest on his whip without him realizing it, cursing himself. He was such a goddamn wreck. Nothing good would come out of fighting Alucard right now, he knew that perfectly well. His attitude was childish, wasn’t it? Staring back at the speaker with what he hoped was an apologetic look, he let his hand slide off his whip with a hint of shame. He took a deep breath and jogged briefly to rejoin her, avoiding eye contact. Still, he saw the small nod she gave him, with a faint smile. As if to say thank you for not being as much of an asshole as you could have been. Trevor only sighed as he fell into a stubborn silence.

To say that he was unhappy about the situation was the understatement of the year. Sypha was right, he did care. He had wandered village to village for years, numb and worthless. Each day repeating the process of finding something to eat, something to drink and a place to sleep. More often than not getting into trouble, and not the noble kind. Alucard’s words struck him hard because they were true. He was a drunken idiot, without a family, forcefully ashamed of his name, purposeless. Unable to appreciate his life, yet too much of a coward to end it. It’s not like he hadn’t tried, but he had chickened out and failed in that department as well. It was easier to drown his mind in ale, making him forget the state of his life. When he had to concentrate all of his might on not falling face first in the dirt like a rock or choking in his own vomit, it didn’t leave him much time to think about how he was a broken, disillusioned and faithless wreckage of a fallen dynasty. Right now though he was increasingly sober and increasingly caring. For the first time in forever, he had something to cling to, the occasion to actually do his family’s work. If the son of evil himself was stepping up, he sure as hell wasn’t going to shame his ancestors even more by not rising to the challenge himself. What did he have to lose anyway? His life? Not much of one. At least he’d go down the Belmont way, killing motherfucking Dracula.

He supposed he should see his coexistence with that bloody abomination as... just another challenge. He wasn’t sure which one of the two was going to be the most challenging in the end.

God, he needed a drink.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where am I going with this? I barely know. Sorry.


	2. No need for gratitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been proofread :O by the lovely [ Relagorikt! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relagorikt/profile)

When the unusual trio emerged in the city, the demons had retreated and the faint colors of dawn were poking out on the horizon. Whether the monsters had left because the night was almost over or because they had been repealed, Alucard wasn’t sure, but it didn’t really matter. What was important now was that his new allies were sleepwalking. The adrenaline had kept them up until now and while the walk out of the catacombs had been difficult enough to keep them alert, their weariness was now all too evident. “We should rest.” He said simply.

“You’ve been asleep for a year, what do you need rest for?” Belmont grumbled behind him. Alucard turned towards Sypha with a small sigh, deciding to talk to her instead.

“You’ve obviously been awake for far too long. The horde has left, you two are of no use to me if you collapse of fatigue”

“We should go back to our lodgi-.” Sypha started before interrupting herself. Her eyes snapped to Trevor “Oh no.”

“What now?”

“My people! They’re still down there! With the dead cyclops!”

“Urg… right.” Trevor grunted quietly as he looked up at the sky in annoyance. “Go back to the house. I’ll fetch them.”

“I’ll go with you!”

“There’s no need for the both of us to walk all the way down there. Go to sleep. You need it.”

“You look a lot more tired than the lady, Belmont. I say tired, but really I should use the word dead.”

“I don’t give a shit how I look and I sure as hell don’t care about how you think I look. I told them to go down there, I’m going to bring them back. Sypha, just go to sle- Sypha!”

The girl had already left. “Go to the house!” She yelled, running back to the catacombs. “We’ll all meet you there!”

Trevor stayed still for a few seconds, a hand extended toward the speaker in a useless attempt to keep her there despite the fact that she had already long gone. He grunted again. “God damn it, woman…” He started walking to follow her, but Alucard interrupted him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m not letting her get lost in that labyrinth of yours alone.”

“Belmont.” The way he said the name felt more like a plea than the commanding tone he was aiming for, but it escaped his lips before he could think about it. “Look at yourself, you’re shaking with exhaustion. You’ll be of no use to her, if not a burden. She can fend for herself perfectly well without our help.”

Trevor seemed to hesitate, taken aback by the concern he was showing maybe? It was the truth and he knew it. He looked in the direction Sypha left for a long moment before exhaling loudly.

“I fucking know that.” He replied with a glare. “But now I’m stuck alone with you. That’s just splendid.”

Alucard only smiled at his response. “The feeling is mutual.”

Trevor sighed deeply again as he walked away, looking defeated. “Let’s just go back to the speaker house…”

Alucard had almost expected more banter from the hunter, but the man really was exhausted, with no fight left in him, even verbally. They walked in an uncomfortable silence through the wrecked streets of Gresit. The damage done to the city was more than he had expected, but _then again_ he shouldn’t be surprised, he knew the extent of his father’s grief and anger. This was barely scratching the surface of how cruel his night horde could be. He could only hope that they hadn’t reached the other big cities yet and that the battle that took place here yesterday would make them slow down. It was one thing to invade a defenseless city with overpowering forces, it was another to meet resistance. It wouldn’t faze the demons long and he knew that what losses they suffered here tonight they could easily replace with more abominations, but maybe they would get a moment of respite while they licked their wounds and recovered from the surprise.

Despite the carnage, he had to admit the speaker and Belmont had done a good job defending the place. The legion of demon corpses lying in the street told an interesting story indeed. If anything it reassured him. He wasn’t a fan of this whole prophecy, but seeing how competent his new companions were, it ignited a small spark of hope in the back of his mind that he didn’t dare to have before. The woman was young, but then again, so was he. She unquestionably radiated magic from the way she talked to the way she carried herself, in her voice, in her eyes, in the gentleness of her movement yet fierceness of her words. It was all very overwhelming. He had no doubt that what she lacked in firsthand experience, she made up for in talent, knowledge, and will. The other one, however…

He should have seen it coming. The hunter, who else could it have been really, but the last son of a family dedicated to eradicating his kind. The years hadn’t been kind to the man. Though he didn't want to let it show, he did feel a pang of pity toward him and Trevor would probably stake him for that alone. While he had seen the fire of a passion long extinguished in his eyes during their fight, now they held nothing but numbness and annoyance toward him, of course. He could understand that. Still, it was sad to see the last hope of survival against the supernatural in such a state. All this because of the people he was supposed to protect. It was all very ironic, Alucard mused.

What surprised him when they reached the first group of the surviving population was the awe in the eyes of many towards Trevor. Of course, most villagers still looked at him like he was a demon just as much as the corpses in the street, but a handful of young men looked to the hunter with gratitude in their eyes. Gratitude, admiration, and hope. Here was a _“normal”_ man, like them, who had fought and won. He could easily see how this would appeal to a population who had simply endured the horde’s atrocities without any hope to fight. Some of them pointed at Belmont as they whispered amongst themselves, until one braver than the other approached him, the rest of the herd following.

“It’s you, you’re the man who fought back the demons!” The younger man said, keeping his distance despite his excitement. He still looked like a child, barely a man. To Alucard’s surprise, Trevor only grunted and narrowed his eyes while his hand came to rest on the hilt of his whip. A shaking hand, he noticed.

“Are you here to burn me in a pit with the rest of the demons? If so I’m afraid I might have some objection.”

“W-what? No!” Another boy exclaimed, raising his hand in front of him in a surrendering gesture. “Sir, we would all be dead meat if not for you! The way you fought, we’ve never seen anything like it. How do you know all this, on how to kill monsters? Can you teach us? Will you stay here with us? With you we stand a chance to fight back!”

Alucard realized they were all quite young. Too young to truly know who was standing in front of them. Too young and uneducated perhaps to recognize the crest over Trevor’s heart. Still children when the Belmont clan was eradicated, not understanding why the church had wanted him dead. All of them were inspired by his display of skills tonight, eager to fight for their home now that they felt like they had a chance. Trevor only scoffed at their questions. His eyes kept darting to the rest of the crowd nervously.

“I didn’t do anything, you owe your own lives to yourselves. Just remember what I said and you’ll all be fine.” His hand remained at his whip defensively while he talked to them in a quiet and oddly calm voice. His tone and his body language told two very different stories as if one was for the men before him and the other for the villagers looking at him. With his family crest exposed, well in evidence, the man was surely feeling quite weary of the mob around them. Still, he managed what could be called a smile as he looked at the eldest of the men. He was probably around the same age as Trevor, but life had a way to make some people age more quickly, unbeknownst to them. “Demons are scary motherfuckers, but they’re not immortal. They bleed and die like everything else. With salt and steel, not with prayers and superstitions. Just remember that and stick together. Help each other out. Then maybe you’ll stand a chance to see the next day.” It wasn’t a lie per se, but it was sugar-coated nonetheless. If the horde came again tomorrow, sure, they would put up a nice resistance, but it wouldn’t be enough. That’s not what Trevor meant though. If the villagers all stood together and supported one another instead of looting, hating, and resorting to the darker side of their humanity, then yes, they would be able to survive this apocalypse more easily.

Alucard observed the scene from afar, surprised by what the villagers said about Trevor and his leadership in their battle against the horde, as well as by the eloquence his companion now had in front of the same people who once wanted his family to burn. Despite what he had told the hunter earlier, Alucard could faintly see that under all the layers of dirt, alcohol, and cursing, the Belmont was, after all, still a Belmont.

At least he hoped so.

Unfortunately, not everyone had the same opinion. Most of the older population knew very well who Trevor was, recognized the golden pattern and remembered the words of the church about him and his lineage. One grey-haired woman walked up to them, shaking in her boots. Of fear or anger, Alucard couldn’t tell.

“How dare you show your face again!” She screamed at the hunter. Her eyes darted quickly between the two of them, hesitantly lingering on Alucard. He wasn’t sure what she thought of him but obviously, she decided he was not good news either. “This is all your fault! The demons came because of you, you led them here!” She pointed an accusatory finger at the hunter.

Before Trevor could reply, with word or action they’d never know, one of the youngsters pushed the woman away. “The hell you’re talking about?! He fought the blasted demons!”

“He is a Belmont!” The name fell off her tongue like she had tasted spoiled milk. “His family is the reason we have demons in this country! He’s a heretic! We should kill him now and finish what God star-”

Trevor shook his head as he laughed, interrupting her little hate speech. He pressed his knuckles to his forehead briefly like he had a headache. He probably had. “Oh lady, you’re welcomed to try.” Alucard noticed again the tremor in his hand as he went for a hidden dagger at his waist. He pointed it at the woman who backtracked into the mass of peasants behind her as quickly as she had come out.

“Belmont!” Alucard reached for him but he avoided his hand swiftly.

“No. I’ve had enough of this.” He looked at the villagers, hand gripping his knife so tightly his knuckles turned white. “If any of you has anything more to say about my family they should say it now. And if anyone wants to finish the job, be my fucking guest!” He walked towards them, the fury of a thousand demons in his eyes. Alucard took a step back, hand on his sword.

Evidently, none of the good citizens stepped up to the challenge. “How many loved ones have you lost in the past days? How many corpses now pile up in your mass graves? Don’t you have enough dead already? You want one more? You want more blood on your streets?” He screamed at them with a voice Alucard barely recognized. The group of men that had come to practically worship him stepped back as well. “My family were the only ones in this world with the knowledge to fight those monsters and you decided we weren’t good enough for you. You decided we were wrong. Now here you stand, buried in demon shit and the guts of your neighbors. And still... still you want to put the blame on me. On my dead family. On the speaker!” His arm swung around to point his dagger at an imaginary Sypha behind him. “The people who stayed with you to take care of your wounds, despite your persecution. Every last one of you bastards makes me sick.”

Alucard could only stare. At the few people who saw the truth in the words thrown at them who looked down in shame. At the ones who simply feared the man before them. At the others who still saw him as the devil incarnate. But mostly he stared at this devil. A broken man, physically and mentally, with no more patience left in him to deal with so much unjustified hatred. So tired and spent. He wasn’t sure if it was the lack of sleep that made him snap or maybe this was just the last straw after years of repressing what he wanted to say to the Wallachians.

Trevor let his arms go limp as he took another deep difficult breath. He bowed his head and closed his eyes for a moment before bringing his weapon back to its sheath. “If it is more blood you want, it will not be from me, nor the speakers, and it won’t be from demons either! Because I’m a fucking Belmont! A goddamn demon hunter from generation to generation and despite the fact that none of you sons of bitches deserve the pitiful lives you cling to, I’m still going to save you!”

The silence that followed was unnerving. Trevor didn’t wait for a reply. “No need to fucking thank me, you assholes.” He whispered as he turned on his heel and walked away, bumping Alucard’s shoulder in the process. After recovering from the initial shock, the vampire stood there. He stayed and watched the young men yelling at the woman, a few other villagers coming to defend her, and then others rallying against her, and vice versa, until the street was a cacophony of voices rising one above the other. Until a fist went flying. Then another. And finally, the good people of Gresit, having survived the vicious attacks of the night horde, fought amongst themselves like the rats his father thought them to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sypha is a force of nature, Trevor is tired and Alucard can only stand back and watch.


	3. Trust? Fat chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of got a semblance of plan now for this, as you can see I've changed title and description. Ish. It's going to be the fucking slowest building fic ever tho. But I'm just having fun!
> 
> This chapter has been proofread :O by the lovely [ Relagorikt! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relagorikt/profile)

God, he was so tired.

Trevor stopped in a back alley for a minute, resting his shoulder on the wall while rubbing his forehead with a sweaty, shaking hand. He should have just left. He should have let the bitch say what she had to say and leave. Walk away, like he always did. But no, he just had to cling to this new sense of pride that had suddenly risen inside him. The look of fear on the woman’s face was satisfying, he had to admit that. The look of shame on the other villagers too. But what was the point anyway? It was not going to bring his family back and probably only managed to make the population even more afraid of him and his name. Not that he gave a shit what people thought, or so he repeated to himself…

Jesus Christ, why was the ground tilting so fucking much?

He let himself slide down the wall, resting on one knee, hunched over. His guts were doing weird things now. He was pretty hungry after all. And tired. And sick? Oh yeah, there was that nauseated feeling again…

He supported his body on his hand while his other made a fist in his shirt, feeling the contraction rip through his abdomen. There wasn’t much to throw up though. The bile burned his throat on the way up, making his eyes water as he coughed to try to get this over with more quickly. The hunger, the smell of rotting corpses and his exhaustion weren’t helping his case. His whole body shuddered as it tried in vain to vomit the contents of an empty stomach. It left him even more drained, almost passed out leaning against the decrepit building. He gasped and grunted and coughed, trying to concentrate on stopping the shivering of his skin and in his breath. It took a few minutes before he could sit up and breathe somewhat normally, spitting in a poor attempt to remove the burning taste in his mouth. As he tried to get up, supporting himself on the wall, a hand came from behind to rest under his shoulder, helping him up. Trevor’s hand shot up to brush it away angrily, stumbling forward and leaning against the bricks. He didn’t need to look to know who that was.

“Don’t say anything. Any comment and I’m cutting your bloody head off, prophecy or not.”

“I didn’t plan to.” the vampire replied, keeping a polite distance between them. “Although you should know, this is…”

Trevor grunted, glaring over his shoulder at the blond. Alucard closed his eyes with a small smile, deciding not to finish the sentence and keeping his thoughts to himself. “Is this speaker house still far?” is what he settled to say instead.

“No.” He whispered back, pulling himself together and removing the saliva from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. He needed to sleep, he needed to eat and he needed a goddamn drink. Now. “We’re almost there; if we don’t meet another mob on the way that is.”

They made a point of avoiding people from there. When they reached this so-called house, Alucard couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “Is this what you consider a house?” He mused, taking in the damage done to the building.

“Right, I kind of forgot about that,” Trevor replied, rubbing his head. He looked around at the other houses nearby and started walking toward one of them. “Well, I’m sure some of those are vacant. Let’s just pick one.”

“We’re squatters now?” The vampire raised a brow at him, hesitantly following.

“The sun is going to rise soon and I’m pretty sure you want something above your head when it does.” Really, in the situation they were in right now, stealing someone’s house was the least of his worries. The nearest house had a huge hole in the front where the door should be, but it was holding up pretty well despite that and the holes in the roof. Pretty sure the occupants of this one were not coming back.

“I won’t catch fire.” Trevor heard the vampire say behind him, which made him stop in his tracks.

“Really?”

“I’m only half vampire. I can withstand many things a pure breed cannot. I’m carrying a silver sword, in case you didn’t notice.”

“So what, you’re a vampire but without any of their weakness? The best of both worlds?” He had forgotten that his mother was human. The human who started all of this bullshit.

Alucard shrugged as he walked past him to enter their little hideout, a sad smile danced on his lips for a fleeting moment, disappearing into his blank expression before Trevor could ponder on it. “I’m not as strong as a true vampire. Never will be. Blessed objects still affect me. Your whip was particularly bothersome.” Trevor enjoyed the disdain in his voice and chuckled lightly. “Wounds inflicted by such objects or silver do heal more slowly as well. The sun can be uncomfortable if I stand under it for too long, but it will not kill me. I need blood, but get sustenance from human food as well.” He paused for a moment, examining the roof above his head. “So, as you can see, my condition is… complicated.”

“No shit.” Trevor mumbled. Why was he telling him all this? Well, he did ask, but he didn’t expect the vampire to expose his weaknesses to him like this. Maybe it was an attempt to inspire trust. It didn't really work, to be honest.

Trevor took in the inside of the house. There was not much to salvage, but he did spot a few dusty blankets and a dry corner next to a dead fireplace where he could lay down. “Is that going to be an issue?” The vampire simply raised a questioning brow at him. “The blood thing I mean. Are you…” He hesitated before exhaling loudly, laying down one of the heavy blankets on the floor. He removed the red cloth at his waist to turn it into a makeshift pillow while continuing to talk to Alucard and refusing to look at him. “Look, I don’t know you. I don’t trust you either. I just can’t, alright? It’s in my blood, in my fucking bones. There’s this voice at the back of my head, that I suspect is the combined fury of all my ancestors, screaming at me that I should stake you right here, right now. But I’m trying.” He raised his hand exasperatedly, finally looking back at the blond. “Sypha trusts you and she believes in all that prophetic mumbo jumbo. Even if I don’t want to, I admit that us miraculously falling down a hole into your chamber is too much of a coincidence to brush it off.” He trailed off a moment, letting himself fall on his new bed. “Where the fuck was I going with this…” He rubbed his face roughly, trying to collect his thoughts. He was having a hard time thinking straight now and he felt really hot and sticky under his clothes, almost like he had a fever. He hoped he hadn’t caught something, that would really be the climax of this shitty day. “What I’m trying to ask here is… do I have to concern myself with how you’re going to get blood during this little trip of ours?”

“I understand perfectly well what you’re asking Belmont,” Alucard replied with a smile. He hated to see him smile, even a smug one. It still made him look way too human. “Are you afraid I’m going to drink your blood while you sleep?”

“You’re a vampire. Sorry, half-vampire, what else am I supposed to assume?” He snapped back, letting his head fall on the bundle of cloth under him, eyes closing. This was far from comfortable but he’d probably be able to sleep on nails.

“You should assume I don’t eat garbage, for one.”

Trevor only grunted in response. He'd walked into that one, hadn’t he?

“I live on animal blood, mainly pig. My mother has never let me drink from humans. I intend to keep it that way.” Alucard replied as he leaned on the wall, staring outside from the hole that served as the door. He missed the look of utter disbelief on Trevor’s face. “In the event that I won’t be able to procure it during our travels, I can still survive on food alone. My powers might deteriorate, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. If we do.”

“You really think I’m going to believe that horseshit?” He replied with a sinister laugh. “You’re like a vegetarian kind of vampire, is that what you’re saying? Your _‘morals’_ won’t let you drink human blood?”

“I’m saying you don’t have to worry about me biting you. At least not to drink your blood. To simply annoy you though? I might consider it.”

There he was, being an asshole again. What a rude piece of shit. A lying piece of shit. Those fangs he flashed above him in the catacombs had been out for blood, _his blood_ , but Trevor was too exhausted to argue right now. “Whatever. I’m going to sleep and pretend like there isn’t a fucking bloodsucking monster in the same room as me and I swear on my dead mother if you come and bite me I will wake up and stake your heart through your ass.” At this point he was so exhausted he didn’t care anymore. The bastard could just gut him in his sleep if he wanted. At least he knew Sypha would avenge him. He couldn’t keep his eyes open and it was a constant effort to string his thoughts together to form coherent sentences. He rolled onto his side to face the wall, turning his back on the vampire. He took his dagger and kept it under his pillow, keeping his grip on it as he got comfortable.

“Duly noted.” He heard Alucard grab a chair and drag it out. “I’ll stay outside to let the speaker know where we are.”

“Sure,” Trevor mumbled, already half asleep. “You do that.”

* * *

He wished he had something to read. Something to keep his mind distracted. His companion had fallen asleep barely a few minutes after closing his eyes, so there was no hope of discussion to pass the time either. Not that he particularly liked to discuss things with that man-pretending dog. The childish banter was only entertaining to a certain point. As Alucard sat outside in this broken city that smelled like blood and intestine, he almost missed his private keep. At least while he slept, he wasn’t bored. Because with boredom came thoughts. Pondering. Musing. Too much of it. About his father. His mother. The task ahead of them. His hand came to rest on the scar at his chest instinctively.

He didn’t want to do this. Despite what he had become, Dracula was still his father. He had loved him, that much he was sure. Loved him and cared for him. He knew there was no going back from the dark place he had settled into, but deep down Alucard still wished his father could rise from his agony and see reason. See that what he was doing was against everything his mother ever wanted. It’s not like he didn't want to take revenge on humanity himself. The desire had been overwhelming, but she had asked him not to. Alucard’s place in this world had never been clear, never really fitting in with either of his heritages, but his love for his mother and hers for him was an unshakable certainty. It would have destroyed him to betray this love by exacting his vengeance on his mother’s people. His people, as much as he didn’t like to see them as such. The grief was difficult and had felt insurmountable. He understood his father all too well, but what his father was experiencing now was not grief anymore. It wasn’t even anger, It was self-destruction while bringing everything down with him.

A faint moan startled him out of his thoughts. Looking back into the house he saw the hunter roll on his back, whimpering as his hand shot up briefly as if to grab onto something before he went still and silent again in a sigh.

Well, speaking of self-destruction... His father might have been winning that competition, but Belmont was quite the contender. He had rarely seen a man carrying himself with such carelessness, while at the same time clinging to a life he didn’t particularly seem to desire. He had clearly told him he wasn’t afraid to die and Alucard had no trouble believing it, but not being afraid to die and longing for it were two different things. He wasn’t sure in which category to place Trevor. His attitude was too paradoxical to know. Maybe he didn’t know himself. Alucard wasn't sure exactly what the man had been through, but being the last member of an excommunicated family meant nothing good for sure. Although he supposed it had all contributed to making him into the hunter he was today, for better or worse.

The man suddenly gasped for air as if he had risen from the depths of the sea, sitting up startled and confused as to where he was. Their eyes met and Alucard was almost taken aback by the fear in them. It died out quickly however. A shaking breath passed his lips and he flopped back down, sweating and chest heaving as his arm came to rest on his forehead. There was that shaking again…

“Are you alright?” Alucard asked quietly. Maybe he should have just ignored him. Well, it was too late now.

“I’m fine.” Trevor groaned back. “I’m fine…”

“Nightmares?”

“That’s none of your fucking business.”

Alucard scoffed and looked away. He should have just pretended not to hear him and left him to his inner demons. He heard him shuffle back to sleep, cursing under his breath. This was going to become a problem before long. Belmont had voiced his concern about him needing blood, but Alucard was more concerned about the other man’s cravings. It didn’t take a genius to see, although his knowledge of forbidden medicine did help him notice. The tremors, the sweating, the headaches, the nausea, Trevor didn’t reek of alcohol for nothing. He suspected that in the last few days, the man didn’t have the time nor the occasion to indulge in what Alucard would call his _“coping mechanism”_. He was addicted, that much was evident to him. He closed his eyes and concentrated, listening to the man’s blood pump and as he expected, he found his heart rate was irregular. Maybe it was in part due to the nightmare he had just woken from, but even that could have been caused by his lack of liquor, although he had seen a lot of things warrant of bad dreams as well. Still, he knew what alcohol withdrawal could do to a man, had seen his mother treat village drunkards many times, and having a member of their team in this condition was unacceptable. Letting him stay drunk was equally out of the question of course. He doubted the hunter would take kindly to having this kind of conversation with him though. With Sypha maybe?

Trevor laid still on his bed for the next hour, but he knew by the sound of his heart and his breathing that he was pretending to sleep. Even when the speaker came back, he remained on the floor, unmoving.

He stood from his chair when they came close to the house, standing in the sun and noticing Sypha’s concerned look.

“Alucard, you- are you alright? I mean...” She trailed off, pointing vaguely at the sky.

“It’s not a problem.” He replied gently, his eyes settling on the other speakers that were staring him down quite blatantly.

Sypha took the hand of an old man to present him. “This is my grandfather, the elder of our tribe.”

“It is an honor to finally meet you.” The old man said with a kind smile. Alucard wondered if Sypha told them about who he really was. “I must admit, you are not what we were led to believe you’d be.” Ah, he supposed she had. “But that hardly matters. What matters is your willingness to help. I can understand your resolve in stopping all this. If we can be of any assistance to you, we would be honored to help.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” He replied with a bow. “Thank you for your effort, you’ve already done more than I could ask. I’m afraid that the people of Gresit need you more now than I do, however. “

“Yes. The situation here is…”

“Bad.” Sypha finished

“Indeed…” The elder looked briefly at Trevor, still pretending to sleep. Only Alucard knew that though. “The governing members of the church have all been killed from what we’ve heard on our way here. Only a few priests remain. These people need help to organize themselves. We will stay for as long as we are needed; care for the wounded. If the people will let us help of course.”

“With the condition they are in, I doubt they’ll have any strength left to demonize us. Especially without the church there to spread their propaganda. People will see reason. When Belmont exposed their lies, they were quick to turn on the clergymen.” Sypha commented, following her grandfather’s gaze on the man.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Alucard said softly. “We met some people on our way here too. Not all of them were happy to see us.”

“Not all of them, but some were, right?” The girl replied. “We need to work with what we have.”

“I’m just afraid some of them might take… drastic actions against you and Belmont.”

“They have tried before and failed. They will not succeed now that they are even weaker.” Another speaker said with a confident smile. Alucard smiled back with a nod.

“A fair point.”

The old man placed his hand gently on Alucard’s shoulder. “Let us worry about all this, you three serve a greater purpose. If you succeed, everything else will fall into place, I’m sure of it.” He looked back at Trevor then to his granddaughter. “Is he…”

“He’ll come with us.” She replied, looking at the hunter with such softness, Alucard could almost mistake it for pity. Maybe it was. “He’s not as stupid as he looks.”

“I heard that.” Belmont decided now was a good time to let them know he wasn’t sleeping. “Could you peeps quiet down. There’s a dead man trying to sleep here.”

“You should take it as a compliment.”

“Sypha…” The old man said her name in an exasperated tone, but he smiled widely. “Please be polite.” He turned his attention back to their demolished house and his smile vanished. “What… happened to our lodging?”

“Hm,” Trevor grunted, turning his back to the speaker. “That would be my fault. Terribly sorry. If it makes it better, a few priests died under there.”

“How does that make it better?!” A young speaker retorted in anger.

“It is unfortunate. We had a lot of provision in that house that would have served us well now, food and medicine.” Another one mused.

Alucard looked back at the small house. “That’s not a problem. I can clear it for you.” He said quietly as he walked toward the mess. He grabbed a piece of rock, then another, clearing the way inside under the bemused gaze of the speakers. He might just be half-vampire, but he still had ten times the strength of a normal human. The difficult part here was the smell. Trevor hadn’t lied about the priests and he soon dug up their corpses. He looked back to the speakers briefly before getting their bodies out of the rubble. Most of the speakers looked away. They didn’t like violence and while they treated the sick and didn’t shy away from death, this still made them uncomfortable. Maybe because it had been done on their behalf to a certain extent. He noticed that Sypha had retreated into the other house. Good, She had overworked herself and she needed to rest. He focused back on his task, removing debris of stones and wood. Somewhere among the destruction, his hand found something soft. He held the piece of clothing up and wrinkled his nose, a big heavy coat lined with fur that Alucard didn't dare smell any closer. That was the most horrid piece of fashion he had ever seen and somehow he couldn't help but think it belonged to Belmont. It certainly fit with the wet dog wanderer look he had going on. He discarded it on a crate outside before going back to his cleaning, silently hoping the hunter had no intention of wearing that thing again. He already smelled bad enough as it is, he wasn't sure his senses would survive traveling with him _and_ that furry thing. After a while, the speakers gained access to what remained intact of their stock. A lot had been crushed, but some could still be salvaged.

“Thank you. For everything.” The elder said with a bow. Alucard raised a hand humbly.

“You can thank me once my father is dead.”

Once his father was dead.

He would have to get used to saying things like that, wouldn’t he?  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved Trevor's fur coat so much I can't just let him abandon him despite canon.
> 
> Where is Sypha's pov you might ask. I had a hard time writing as her, but I'm getting the hang on it. Next time.
> 
> I'm not sure if my views of Alucard's heritage is right. Not even sure his sword is made of silver and not even sure silver IS a vampire weakness in castlevania. SOoo I'm just going to pretend all of this is right for the sake of it.


	4. In dire need of a mental crutch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been proofread :O by the lovely [ Relagorikt! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relagorikt/profile)

“Why are you lighting the fire?”

“I’m cold.” Sypha replied to the grumpy man beside her as she sent flames from her hands into the fireplace.

“What if I’m hot?” He groaned.

“I don’t care.” She retorted with a smile he couldn’t see. The grunt she received in return only made her smile more. Trevor was so easily bothered and annoyed. It was almost endearing in a way she supposed. She noticed the blanket he was laying on and got up to fetch one for herself. After laying it down in the dirt next to him, she sat down, rubbing her hands together in front of the fire. She couldn’t stay like this for long though, her eyes were closing by themselves and she suspected her chills were due to exhaustion more than actual cold. She had used more magic in the last twenty-four hours than in most of her life. Well, maybe not but still, it had been demanding. It really was… a long fucking day, as Trevor would say.

She shuddered and rubbed her hands on her arms before laying down next to the hunter. He really did mean it when he said he was hot. She could feel the heat radiating from him. She rested her head on her hand and turned her back to him, but it didn’t take long before she shimmied closer to him. She just couldn’t resist, the warmth was so inviting. She pressed her back to his and sighed in contentment, noticing how his body tensed at the contact, but far from caring. All she cared about was to warm herself and the combination of the fire and Trevor’s body behind her was all too welcoming. She could definitely sleep like this.

“What are you doing?” She felt his voice vibrate from his back into hers, almost more than she heard his rough whisper.

“I’m sleeping, as should you.”

“That’s... not what-” He stopped himself mid-thought, clearing his throat. “You’re not going to be able to sleep with my stench so close to you. Believe me, I can barely stand myself.”

“Don’t worry, I noticed.” She laughed. “You really reek Belmont, A bath would not be a luxury and that’s coming from a nomad who bathes once in a blue moon. This is _not_ a compliment.” She felt a low chuckle in her back.

“Then go sleep where you can’t smell me.”

“This whole city stinks and I don’t smell very good myself, I’ll manage.”

“Yeah well-” She didn’t let him finish his sentence. She wanted to sleep and he was talking too much. She kicked him in his legs, earning an “ow” of surprise more than of actual pain.

“Stop being a big baby. I’m tired and cold, let me leech off your warmth and shut up.” She retorted angrily before letting out a long sigh. At least it was effective, Trevor didn’t add anything except a low grunt of displeasure, then proceeded to lay silent and rigid as a brick next to her while she slowly drifted off to sleep. It didn’t last long though. After barely a few minutes he stripped her of his heat and sat up with another displeased groan. She whimpered at the lost contact with a shiver.

“What’s wrong?” She mumbled.

“Nothing.” He replied quickly. Too quickly. “I’ve slept enough. Here, raise your head.”

“Why?”

“You’ll hurt your neck sleeping like this. Raise your head.”

“What are you? My mother?” She mocked.

“Raise your goddamn head Sypha.” He repeated impatiently.

She sighed deeply and did as she was told. Trevor slipped a bundle of cloth under her head. She opened her eyes to look at the red fabric he had used himself earlier as a pillow with a smile. “Thank you.”

He only hummed in response. She supposed it meant you’re welcome. She felt him shift and get up on wobbly feet, hearing him groan and seeing him rub his temple like he had a headache. He was still obviously tired. Had she said something wrong? When he walked out of the house she called out to him.

“Trevor, where are you going?” She asked, half sitting up and suddenly worried. She wasn’t sure why. He paused and looked back at her with a semblance of a smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m not running away. I just-” He interrupted himself again as if he wasn’t sure what he meant to say. His eyes drifted outside for a second before he started walking again. “I’ll go fetch something to eat.”

Sypha let her head fall back on Trevor’s cloth. Had she made him uncomfortable? She was cold and he was warm, what else was she supposed to do? Was he uneasy with the physical contact? They had held onto each other during their descent into Alucard’s keep so why was he acting all weird now? Maybe she did smell bad, but by all the gods he didn’t smell like flowers either.

She almost, _almost_ , got up to drag him back in there. Her back was so cold now. She got closer to the fire, adjusting the bundle of cloth under her head. Even if the make-do pillow was indeed more comfortable, the odor was also more present. A mix of blood, demon guts, piss, and alcohol. God, it really smelled like booze. Or was that just Trevor’s natural scent now, drowned in ale for so long it was just what the man smelled like all the time. She pushed the thought away, trying to get used to the stink.

She heard his voice outside, Alucard’s and the speakers. She couldn’t tell what they were saying, but she didn’t bother to try too hard either, she was too tired to. This had been the most exhausting day she’d ever had. She’d been threatened by priests, frozen in stone by the cyclops of legends, saved by the last remaining demon hunter in the land, fought an army of the night and woken up the sleeping soldier of her speaker prophecy. Quite a productive day, if she did say so herself.

But now the task ahead loomed over her. A threatening shadow that left her even colder, hugging herself tightly. She knew that if she found the sleeping soldier, the prophecy would unfold and she would need to take her place in it. She had resolve, but it didn’t stop her from worrying about everything. She had faith in her magic, in her capacities and even in her companions, but what they had to do was not going to be easy and countless people were still going to die before they could accomplish it. She hated the thought, but it had to be acknowledged if only to reinforce how important their mission was.

If they had told her that the sleeping soldier was going to be a vampire, she wouldn’t have believed it. It seemed so improbable, that a vampire would turn on his own kind, but Alucard was no ordinary creature of the night. She believed his story and it seemed evident to her that he had inherited a lot from his human mother. She had no doubt that he would carry his resolve to the end. She wondered how difficult it would be, to kill one’s own father. No matter the monster he had become, she couldn’t help but think that once upon a happier time, he might have been a loving father. The pain was all too evident in Alucard’s voice when he spoke about their battle and the wound Dracula had inflicted on him. It was the only moment in all their conversation where she could discern a real, unmistakable emotion on his perfect features. She couldn’t pretend to know him so judging his feelings about all this was slightly hypocritical, especially considering that he wasn’t even human, but she assumed that none of this ordeal was going to be easy for him. Despite that, she was still certain with every fiber of her being that Alucard was honest in this and that he would do everything in his power to accomplish their goal. Either that, or she was being naive. But prophecies didn’t lie, and so she believed.

How strange that she found herself doubting the determination of her human companion more than the vampire. Their hunter was a rude swine and she had this little voice in the back of her head telling her that if she kept her eyes away from him for too long, he would disappear. He would run off into the woods where he belonged, doing god knows what it was he was doing before he stumbled into this mangled city. While at times she could see the remnants of a softness in him and the pride of a man raised in nobility hiding somewhere under his brutish behavior, the moment he opened his mouth it was all swept away. Still, she couldn’t deny that he had a good heart in the right place, impressive wits when it mattered and the skills to match his family name. She could only hope that her doubts about him were misplaced. Only time would tell. She found it quite difficult to judge people’s character after all. She was so used to dealing with speakers who were so open about emotions and such, while he seemed as closed as a church to a whore. She would have to learn how to deal with that and quickly.

As she pondered over her new companion, it occurred to her that he was not a speaker and it shined a light on his earlier behavior. She had been almost insulted when he got up and left, but she had to remind herself of that fact and of his situation. She did not have much contact with people outside her tribe or at least not close contact outside of caring for wounded people. She’d never had friends who were not speakers, so her attitude with the man might have been tainted by this experience somewhat. Physical contact was natural among her people, for warmth and comfort. They lived together, slept all around each other, always in contact with another. But Trevor had been on his own for a long time. He was a lonely spirit, wandering by himself sad and well, she didn’t want to say miserable, but the word did come to mind. She couldn’t deny that he had probably seen better days, days that were long gone from the looks of it. So maybe, pressing herself against his back had been quite… unexpected for him. She might have overstepped her boundaries here a little. She would have to apologize, she supposed.

But not now. Now she slept.

* * *

“Where are you going?” Alucard asked when he saw Trevor emerge from the house, a deep frown on his features. “You should be sleeping.”

“I’ve slept enough.” He repeated to the Vampire. He could feel the skepticism radiating from him, not that he cared what Alucard thought. “I’ll go look for something to eat. I’m starving.”

“We have food here, please help yourself.” One of the speakers said as he gestured toward their provisions.

“Those are your supplies.” He replied, shielding his eyes from the sun. It was hurting his head way too much. “You’ll need them. I’ll go find something else.”

“Belmont-” Alucard started, almost in a threatening tone, but Trevor had already turned his back to him and walked away.

“I’ll be back before the sun sets. Wouldn’t want to miss tonight’s party again. Can’t wait to get demon guts all over my tunic. My _only_ tunic.”

The speaker said something after that, but he didn’t quite hear it. He didn’t bother to either. He went back into the streets of Gresit on unsteady feet, holding a hand to his forehead and cursing at how it kept shaking. It had been some time since he’d felt like this, since he’d woken up like this, to the heart-wrenching nightmare of his burning mansion…

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d dreamt of that, but it felt like ages ago. Waking up with a hangover usually meant he didn’t remember much of his dreams, but earlier it had been vivid, too much as if it had happened yesterday considering the details in which he recalled it. The smell, the screams, the tears on his cheeks. He remembered coming back from a trip with his old man, only to find smoke rising from the forest surrounding their estate. He could still feel the ghost sensation of his father’s hand on his shoulder, telling him to go hide while he investigated. The heartbreaking howl he had heard from the man when he got to the mansion was the most horrible sound Trevor had ever heard in his young life. The sight of his beloved home engulfed in flames filled him with a feeling of dread he had never felt before and the corpse of his mother on the threshold haunted him for years. It still did. He had trouble remembering her face, his mind trying to forget the lifeless expression he had last seen on her once beautiful features. His elder brother half laid on the facade of the burning building, riddled with bolts, sword still in hand from trying to defend their family, blood all over him, his clothes and hair on fire and his skin melting. One of his sisters had been shot dead on a windowsill, still in her nightgown, probably trying to escape the fire. She hadn’t stood a chance. Back then he didn't know who else had died in the mansion and who had survived the initial attack, but it didn’t matter. In the end, the church got them all over the years. All but him.

He wasn’t sure if that was how it really went down, but the dream was convincing both in images and emotions. He could remember watching helplessly as soldiers attacked his father, as he killed many of them in fury, only to be chained down like an animal and taken away. He had regretted for years his inaction, but of course, he knew that if he had gotten out of cover they would have just taken him to be executed as well, or killed on the spot. And so he had remained hidden, shaking in absolute fear as he listened to the screams of his father until there was nothing but the crackling fire in his ears.

It was strange how reliving all this in a dream tightened his heart with a grief and sadness he was barely able to process with his deficient emotional competence, while at the same time it seemed to have happened so long ago during a time that was so different that it felt like another life altogether.

Waking up to gaze into Alucard’s unnatural eyes didn’t help him recover from it at all, looking at Trevor as if he was able to see right through him. His golden eyes were the most beautiful he’d ever seen, but he quickly repressed that thought whenever it popped in his mind. He had to remind himself that they were meant to be pretty. To lure you in, hypnotize you and then bam, teeth in your neck and you’re dead. He had been unable to find sleep after that, feeling too uneasy with the emotional charge his dream had put on his shoulder, the headache and the unnerving presence of the vampire nearby who he felt was somehow able to feel the shift in Trevor’s psyche. Then Sypha had just come barging into his personal space like she owned the damn thing. He hadn’t felt another person’s warmth like this since… he couldn’t remember. In general, when he had physical contact with people it was with fists and kicks, not the gentle press of a body against his own, without adrenaline, soft and reassuring. Sure he’d had the occasional encounters in the cold of the night in a tavern’s alleyway, but it was usually so hectic and rough there wasn’t much place for appreciating the proximity that was less than tender anyway. Most of the time he was too drunk to appreciate any of it. How pathetic was he to have felt such relief and comfort from the simple touch of a back against his own? And to be scared beyond reason by it too. Pretty fucking pathetic in his opinion.

Trevor shook his head and took a moment to sit down on a broken piece of wall, coughing to try and get rid of the tightening sensation in his throat. He felt sick again. Deep breath, he repeated to himself, _deep breath_. The shaking of his hand seemed to spread to his whole body all of a sudden. He was cold and hot, he was sweating and his headache was making him see stars.

“Urg... f-fucking hell-”

The sickness didn’t stay at bay for long. He hugged his stomach and bent over, vomiting again between his feet. Usually when he was sick, he always felt better afterward, but this was horrible both before and after. He didn’t know what was wrong with him but he hoped that with food in his stomach and a beer, he’d feel much better.

He slowly got up once he felt a little better and resumed walking, avoiding the main streets and the groups of people. There weren’t many of them. He did see some people opening the barricaded doors of the city, carts full of supplies and ready to leave this hellish place. Trevor was almost impressed at how quickly they gathered their things to leave. It seemed like the most sensible thing to do, but then again, where were they going to go now? Every city around Targoviste was going to be the same nightmare. They would be better off going to the speakers for help. Even the less brave souls hiding in their homes now should go to them, if only to get their wounds treated and get some kind of organization back, now that the church was dismantled. He wasn’t going to knock on every door to tell them that though. He did care, but let’s not exaggerate. Him killing demons was already enough effort on his part, wasn’t it?

It would be pretty hard to find something to eat in all this desolation, he realized. His stomach was telling him he should have accepted what the speakers offered. His heart, on the other hand, told him it was better to starve alone because he didn’t want to deal with any of this. His brain was calling him an idiot. He needed a drink to quiet down that last voice.

It took a while, but Trevor finally stumbled upon the local tavern. The door had been busted open and most windows were broken as well. The buildings around it hadn’t fared much better either. He approached slowly, looking subtly inside to see if anyone had already come to loot the place. He half expected to find it completely empty or to the contrary, with a bunch of people taking refuge in it. To his surprise, the inside was quiet, dark, and the barrels of brew were still nicely packed along the back wall. He walked through the door hesitantly, hand on his whip.

“Hello?” He tried, not too loud, just to see if there was someone close. There was no response. It seemed like the innkeeper was either dead or had decided to leave his business behind. Either way, it meant Trevor could finally, _finally_ , get the drink he so desperately desired since he set foot in this forsaken city.

He walked to the bar slowly, still carefully looking around for any sign of life. The smell of ale already making its way to his nose was making it difficult though. He went behind the counter to get a tankard and hastily went for the barrels, throwing caution to the wind as he got close to his goal. He would feel so much better after this. He was already feeling dizzy just thinking about it. After everything he went through yesterday, he deserved a goddamn drink. There was still a small uncomfortable part of him that pointed out how he had no money to pay with and that he was basically stealing, then another part of him just shrugged. It’s not like there was anyone to give his nonexisting money to.

“Hey!”

Trevor quickly turned toward the rough voice that had addressed him in a less than friendly manner. He let go of the tankard and it went rolling on the floor, holding both of his hands up in a surrendering gesture. He was met with a tall, bulky, built like a fucking bull man with an enormous black beard walking slowly toward him, a woodcutting axe in his hand. He had come from a door at the back of the room, hidden in the shadows.

Well, it seemed like he had found the innkeeper, or… the innkeeper found him. Whatever. As if people didn’t hate him enough already now they were going to see him as a thief.

Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Touch starve but still uncomfortable being touched" Trevor is one of my many favorite Trevor.


	5. Kindness and hollow promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been proofread :O by the lovely [ Relagorikt! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relagorikt/profile)

“Who are you?”

The man tightened his grip on his axe as he took slow steps towards Trevor, his voice reflecting perfectly his bulky appearance. Trevor simply stepped back slowly toward the entrance, hands still well in evidence in the air.

“This… is just a big misunderstanding.” He half laughed, nervously eyeing the axe and the clenched, massive muscles that held it. “I don’t want any trouble. No need for violence, I’ll just leave now and never come back, alright?”

“You-” The man’s eyes settled on the crest on Trevor’s chest and he stopped in his tracks. “It’s you. You’re the Belmont…”

Trevor’s hand twitched. Shit. He should have worn something over his shirt, why was he so stupid? Why was he even still clinging to a piece of clothing that put him in trouble a hundred percent of the time? Well, probably because it was the only thing he had left from his father and he had never been able to get rid of it but still, it was fucking stupid.

He offered the man a small awkward smile as he backtracked more quickly toward the door. “Again… I don’t want any trouble, good sir. I’m leaving now.”

“Wait!” The innkeeper raised his free hand in the air. “Wait…” He slowly let go of his axe to let it rest on the bar before putting both of his hands before him as if he was approaching a scared animal. “It’s alright.”

The hunter looked at the door, then back at the man, wondering if he should just make a run for it. In the end, he remained where he was, still as a statue as he watched the man take a few steps back towards the barrels and slowly bent down to pick up the tankard Trevor had dropped.

“You um... You wanted a drink?” He asked, motioning toward the barrel with his head. Trevor carefully dropped his arms to his side.

“Uh.” He wasn’t sure what the right answer to that was.

“It’s okay.” He filled the mug with ale in a swift motion, confirming to Trevor the man really was the barkeep. He walked behind the counter and gently lowered the drink with a small nod. Trevor laughed nervously as he scratched the back of his head.

“I don’t think you understand the situation, I don’t have any money. I thought this place was abandoned I-” He was about to say ‘I came to loot the place’ but that didn’t really feel right. It sure as hell wouldn’t help his case. “Look, I’ll just leave now. You won’t see me again, I promise.”

“After what you did for us last night, this is the least I can do.” The barkeep replied with a smile. Trevor still stood near the entrance, dumbfounded. The man had to reassure him again. “It’s alright, really, help yourself.”

After a few seconds of deliberation, eyeing the tankard with envy and hoping he wasn’t literally drooling over it, he walked back to the bar and squinted at the man suspiciously. “You… you don’t plan on poisoning me, do you? Or want to put that axe of yours deep in my head once I’ve let my guard down?” The man only chuckled at his words.

“Why would I do that?”

“Hm, I don’t know, because I’m a Belmont? Because you people literally chased me around with pitchforks less than twelve hours ago?”

“People do stupid things when they’re scared...” The man replied in a very serious tone, shaking his head. “But you uncovered the church’s lies last night. I dare hope that people- that  _ we _ will see the error of our ways and work to right our wrongs. There were a lot of people in the town square yesterday and we all saw you in there. We saw you fight the demons, you and that speaker girl. If it weren’t for you, we would probably all be dead this morning.” The intensity and sincerity in his voice made Trevor uncomfortable. “My family is alive this morning, thanks to you. I cannot thank you enough for this. So no, I have no intention to harm you. On the contrary, and yes, you can have some ale. You can have all the ale you want, sir.”

The innkeeper pushed the tankard towards Trevor and it was the last encouragement he needed to take it to his lips, with as much casualness as he could muster. The small sip he wanted to take quickly turned into a deep swallow, accompanied by a pure whimper of satisfaction. He closed his eyes and sat down on the stool beside him as he downed the drink like a man lost in the desert. He tried not to, but once it got in his throat, any kind of self-restraint he might have felt flew out the window. The other man simply looked at him and chuckled.

“It’s been a long few days hasn’t it?”

Trevor dropped the tankard back on the counter with a loud thud, gasping for air. “You have no idea…” he whispered.

The older man grabbed a jug from under the counter and walked back to the barrels, filling it up with the same ale he’d just served him. “What’s your name son?”

“Trevor.” He replied hesitantly.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Trevor Belmont.” The man replied with a nod, pouring more ale into his mug. The words triggered a strange reaction in Trevor, an emotion he wasn’t quite able to name. He didn’t have the time nor the will to ponder on it. “How old are you?”

He narrowed his eyes at the innkeeper. “Why are you asking?”

“I’m just curious.”

He had to think about it for longer than he should have had to. How old was he? He tried counting the years, but it all just blended together in a big blur. He wasn’t even sure how long it’d been since the Belmont estate burned. “I don’t… I’m not sure. Twenty? Twenty-something. Or less, I-”

“It’s alright. Forget I asked.” The man waved a dismissing hand at him with a reassuring smile. His whole being was quite comforting, Trevor found, from his voice to his attitude to the way he stood in a tall protective manner. The fact that he was large as a mountain did help to give that impression of safety. Well, at least when he wasn’t walking towards you with an axe in hand.

The younger man simply hummed in response, taking another swig from his tankard. He was so enthralled by his drink he barely noticed the sound of his stomach rumbling.

“Are you hungry?”

“I’m fine.”

“I can fix something up for you.”

“I’m fine really. Again, I don’t have anything to pay you with.” He replied with a quiet exasperated sigh. He was already taking the man’s booze, he wasn’t going to push the hospitality further even if getting food was part of the initial plan, but the bulky man wasn’t having any of it anyway.

“Wait here. I’ll bring you something.” He said before walking back to the door he had come from earlier, leaving Trevor alone at the counter with his ale and a jug full more next to him.

Well, this surely was a change of attitude compared to any barkeep he had met in the past years. Compared to any person who knew his name, actually. He’d never thought the day would come when someone would say his name in a respectful manner, even less offer him free food and drink. The hand he used to hold his tankard was still shaking slightly, but he ignored it, bringing it to his lips again to empty what was left. God, it felt like he hadn’t drank in ages. He wasn’t sure if the man’s ale was just that good, or if his taste was just altered by thirst. It didn’t take long before that familiar, comforting warmth crept up his spine, numbing his brain and calming his nerves. He couldn't help the satisfactory whimpers, resting his arms on the bar after refilling his mug. This all felt too good to be true, considering the situation he was in.

No amount of ale was going to keep him from worrying about what was ahead of him though. Their merry band needed to think of what to do next. While the speakers had voiced their desire to stay here to take care of the people, Trevor thought it wasn’t such a good idea. Just because they had repealed the night horde last night didn’t mean they weren’t going to come back. If Trevor and Sypha stayed here to fight again, it would still be a difficult battle with many losses, even with Alucard in the equation. Plus, even if they fought tooth and nail here, it wouldn’t stop every other city around Targoviste from being raided and destroyed. He didn’t see the point of staying here to defend a single place while there was a larger battle to be fought to protect a lot more people in the end, if anyone in the land was still alive by the time they managed to kill Dracula. Not sure how they were going to manage that…

After three tankards in who knows how long, he heard a small whisper and he glanced at the door hidden in the back. He saw two heads quickly go back inside the moment he looked, followed by giggles and more mumbling. He kept staring at the door as he took another sip and sure enough, one of the heads appeared again for a fraction of a second, before realizing he was still looking and it went back behind the door. Trevor had the time to see a round little girly face with long black hair and two big brown eyes, much like the barkeep. It wasn’t hard to do two plus two here. He heard the high pitched murmurs again, something along the lines of ‘Did he see you’. Shortly after, he heard the now familiar voice of the innkeeper somewhere behind that mysterious door.

“Mia! Evelin! What are you doing?”

He couldn’t make out the rest of the conversation, but after a few minutes a skinny, older girl emerged into the tavern with something hot steaming in a bowl on a plate in her hands. She was blushing profusely, hiding her face behind her long hair and staring at her feet as she stood there. Another girl, the one he had seen earlier, came out as well holding a piece of bread in a cloth. She walked toward him with a lot more confidence than who he assumed was her big sister. It took another long, awkward moment before the eldest started walking toward him too, stopping behind the counter to place the plate before him, all the while keeping her eyes elsewhere. The younger one simply walked to his side and handed him the bread. Trevor took it hesitantly.

“Uh, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” The little girl replied, big curious eyes staring at him and wrinkling her nose. “You smell really bad…”

“Mia!” the eldest almost yelled. “You can’t say that!”

“Well, she ain’t wrong.” Trevor replied in a chuckle, looking back at the older girl. He didn’t think her face could turn even redder but he was proven wrong. She struggled to find her words, holding her hands together.

“I-It’s not that bad...”

Trevor laughed as he looked down at the soup before him. It had been so long since he had a warm meal, just the smell was making his mouth water. He glanced back at the taller girl with a smile. “Thank you.”

She looked away quickly as she mumbled a hasty “you’re welcome” and turned around to run back to the door she had come from. Her father was standing in the door frame, arms crossed. Her little sister followed in her steps, suddenly much less courageous to stay with a stranger without her sibling. The man stepped away to let them leave.

“You wanted to see him? Well, you saw him, now go finish packing.” He told the girls who took off without another word. The man sighed as he walked back to Trevor. “Sorry about that. My girls are too curious for their own good.”

“That’s fine. It’s not necessarily a bad thing.” Trevor replied before he could stop himself. It was a polite response. His father used to tell him ‘curiosity killed the cat, but you’re not a cat’, whenever he hesitated to ask something he thought would be seen as dumb. There was no stupid question, no subject that should be left alone, no field left unexplored or inquiry abandoned without an answer. It was all nice and good in theory, but life had taught him that curiosity could be a very dangerous thing after all. He kept his thoughts to himself however, settling for keeping the small talk going instead. He owed the man that much for all the kindness he had shown him in the last few minutes, which was more than all the people he had met combined. “How old are they?”

“Fifteen and eight. Got two boys in between and two older girls. My eldest left the house last year when she married, went to Braila with her husband. I can only hope they’re doing okay.” The man replied with a sigh full of concern. Trevor nodded and hummed, trying to look sympathetic to the man’s worry.

“Nice big family you got there.” He said with a sad smile, putting his spoon in his soup. Six kids, just like his family. It was a funny coincidence, but he didn’t tarry on the thought lest he started remembering too much. He had forcefully forgotten the faces of his siblings some time ago, only able to remember their names if he concentrated, which he never did. It was better this way; less painful. The irony of trying to forget everything about his family yet clinging to his father’s tunic wasn’t lost on him, but he always felt like he owed it to the old man somehow. Maybe it was the way his eyes had searched for him in the crowd as he was about to be executed. Maybe it was the look he gave him, trying to be brave for his last remaining son. Trevor had made a point to watch and stubbornly he still made a point to carry the Belmont crest, no matter how moronic both of those decisions were. It gave him nothing but nightmares and troubles respectively.

“Yes. If only-” The barkeep hesitated a moment, looking into the distance at nothing in particular. “Their mother died in the first wave, the first night the demons attacked. It’s been... difficult without her.”

“Oh.” Well shit, so much for light conversation. “Uh-”

“We all lost someone in the past few days.” The man said quickly, interrupting him. “We all suffer. We must all keep moving forward. It’s what they would want us to do, don’t you think?”

Trevor swallowed with difficulty, his throat tight all of a sudden. “Of course.” He replied in a whisper, turning his attention to his soup. This mountain of a man had lost his wife barely a few days ago and here he stood, tall and proud. Maybe it was for the sake of his children that he put on this veil, much alike in a way to his own father who had tried to appear calm even as the executioner made him kneel. This facade of someone who was in total control of the situation despite knowing it wasn’t true. The man had a family that needed him, so of course he had to fill in this role, no matter how broken he probably was inside. Trevor admired him for being able to put on that mask. Not that he didn’t have a similar one, but it had been years since he grieved and made a semblance of peace with it all. Even today he wasn’t sure he’d call it peace but still. Back then, there was no such composure or control in his own behavior. Only fear, confusion, abandon and desperation, like a wounded animal unable to bypass his survival instinct and doomed to carry a wound that would never truly heal.

“I’ll leave you to your meal.” The man said, interrupting Trevor’s thoughts. “I need to finish packing up. You can use whatever’s left of this place if you wish. I won’t be coming back here anyway.”

“You’re leaving Gresit?”

“There is nothing left for us here, not with the church in shambles.” He extended a hand to the hunter with a smile. “It truly was an honor to meet you, Trevor Belmont. I don’t know what you’re planning to do now, but I hope you survive this. Surely if anyone can, it’s you.”

He slowly took his offered hand, shaking it firmly with a smile. “Thank you for the meal. And the ale. This is all more appreciated than you can even begin to imagine.” He replied sincerely. The innkeeper, who was no longer one, just a simple father looking out for his children, nodded and turned away to leave.

Trevor’s throat tightened again, a mixture of unexplainable emotions swirling in his guts as he watched him walk away. In the door frame, he saw the little girl again, still looking at him with those big bubbly eyes of hers. Her father scolded her, telling her to go help her siblings pack. Before the man could pass the door leading to what he assumed was the kitchen, before Trevor could have second thoughts, before his brain had the time to process what was coming out of his mouth, he spoke. “You know…”

The man stopped in his tracks and looked back at the hunter quickly as if he was expecting him to continue the conversation. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but the speakers are still in the city. They intend to stay here, help you people organize and all that. This city might not be the safest place, but I can assure you that the roads aren’t going to be any safer. You’ll be a whole lot more vulnerable, that’s for sure. Even if you travel with other caravans, you’re taking a big risk.”

“And-” The man hesitated, narrowing his eyes at Trevor. “And what about you? Are you staying here as well?”

A long moment passed between them before he looked up, trying to show some kind of confidence in his eyes and stance. He doubted he succeeded. “Yeah, I’ll be staying here a few days.” He told him as a little voice at the back of his head screamed for him to stop talking. “Look, you have a family to take care of, I understand that. But you’re also, from the looks of it, a very strong man. There are a lot of strong men in this city from what I’ve seen last night. Women too. And believe me, it’s easier to defend a city than a makeshift camp exposed in the middle of nowhere. If you can organize yourself, learn how to fight those things and all stand together, I think you’ll have a better chance at surviving all this than on the road with your kids and a limited amount of shelter and supplies.”

He saw the man take a deep, shaky breath as he bowed down his head. He pondered over Trevor’s words for a while before looking back up with a strange glint in his eyes. “Learn how to fight you say? Are you saying you’ll show us?”

“I’ll do what I can.” He replied, way too quickly, as if the words were already on his tongue without needing his brain to process them. “I might not be as seasoned as my forefathers, but I’ve been trained, I’m skilled and I’ve got the blood of a family whose entire business has been about killing demons for hundreds of years.” The words felt more like a reassuring attempt than anything born of real conviction or confidence. “So yeah, if you people are willing, there are a few things I can teach you.”

The man chuckled briefly at the words thrown at him as he nodded slowly. “You make a good point, Trevor Belmont.” He emphasized the last name. “I… I’ll think about it. Very seriously.”

Trevor could only nod back as he looked away, finally lifting his spoon from his soup to eat it. He heard the man leave as he savored the broth as he’d never appreciated any soup before. He concentrated on the warmth, both from the meal and the ale, as he banged his head on an imaginary wall in his mind.

What the fuck was he doing making promises like this, playing the hero in shining armor? God, what was happening to him? He wasn’t a savior and never would be. That was not his job. No, it was the job of the blond vampire messiah apparently. He was  _ the sleeping soldier, t _ he hero to save them all from some old heretic story. He should be the one to take this responsibility, not Trevor. To look at the people and tell them he would save them, see the hope in their eyes and bear the consequences of that hope. It was a dangerous thing that more often than not ended in regrets and guilt. He doubted Alucard felt anything personal in all this. It was all about principles, about opposing his father. How many human lives were lost in the process didn’t matter to him, so he’d have no problem going around telling the populace that they’d be safe, knowing full well it was a pledge he couldn’t uphold for sure.

He engulfed the soup and bread while he fought with his inner thoughts, soon leaving himself alone with an empty jug of ale. While he considered going back to the speaker house, the intention was just as quickly discarded in favor of dragging a chair in front of the dead fireplace of the inn, along with one of the barrels of brew and his tankard. He could go back to the speakers and their annoying prophecies, to Sypha who was just making him feel so inadequate with her pure desire to help ungrateful people, to a half-vampire bastard who acted so high and mighty while being an insufferable piece of shit with his very presence, or he could stay here warm and quenched. The choice wasn’t that hard. He would go back to them in the evening to prepare for another joyful night of slaying and trying not to die. Oh, he just couldn't wait, what a blast that would be. Truly he could barely contain his enthusiasm… urg.

After finding his flint to reawaken the fire, he settled in front of it, deeply slumped in the chair with easy access to his liquor and filled his mug once again.

And he drank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Setting the stage for some crunchy bits, can you tell?  
> A big thanks to all the kudo leavers and the comments it keeps me going!  
> Happy new year to you all!


	6. The inevitable crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been proofread :O by the lovely [ Relagorikt! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relagorikt/profile)

If there was one thing Sypha knew about Wallachians, it’s that they could be the most hypocritical people. She couldn’t shake off that thought as she spent the afternoon helping the citizens of Gresit, bandaging their wounds, offering comfort and organization along with her people. She and the other speakers were eager to help those in need who came to them. The same people who wanted them dead two days ago, yes, that fact hadn’t escaped her. It mattered little to her however. Of course, there was this small sinister delight, locked up somewhere in the cynical part of her psyche, from the irony of it all. This part of her that still resented humankind as a whole because of a few. People like the elder of the caravan she was born in, who had branded her a witch before she could even understand the meaning of the word when fire erupted out of her hands in anger for the first time. People like her parents, who had cast her aside in fear of what she was, with the blessing of their spiritual guide and community.

But drowned in this sea of ignoble souls that society held, there were people like the man she called grandfather. A man who had taken her under his wing, in his caravan and called her his granddaughter to the world despite having no reason to care for her. Protecting her with his status and authority, even against some of his own people who still feared the power of a magician. The world was never black and white and it was no different for this city. These people had seen hell and maybe some of them had called it forth, but she firmly believed that most of them had been misled, lied to, manipulated. She was not here to be a judge of people’s worth, she was here to help people who desperately needed it and that’s what she would do. It was a matter of doing what was right and if there was one thing the Elder had taught her again and again, it was this.

She stood up to look at the sun steadily and slowly disappearing behind the city’s wall. She dreaded the night to come while at the same time she felt eager. While the city had been defenseless until now, she felt that tonight, like yesterday, they might be able to save a lot of people. Between Alucard’s power, her own magic and Trevor’s knowledge and leadership over the people who were willing to fight, the odds of the battle ahead would without a doubt be in their favor.

The only problem with this now was that their appointed hunter had been gone all day. She asked his whereabouts when she woke up, but no one knew where he was and she was really starting to feel anxious. What if he upped and left? Back on the road towards another city, mindless to the suffering of his people. What if his speeches and valiant words had all been a lie?

She just couldn’t find it in herself to wait and see if he would suddenly appear to fight through the night with them. She walked back to their little house, finding a very pensive vampire staring into the fire. He had avoided the populace and while he had been polite in what little conversation they had, Sypha couldn’t deny that his presence was awkward. An aseptic, immaculate spot amid all this destruction. Pale skin that looked even whiter under all the black garments, without a trace of freckles or beauty spots. Blond hair shining in a golden halo that almost seemed holy and a stance that screamed nobility, control, and elegance. A beautiful and graceful man, there was no other way to describe him.

“Alucard?” She asked tentatively, not wanting to startle him. He simply turned his head toward her slowly, his expression as unreadable as always. “It’s going to be night soon. I was wondering if you knew where Trevor was?”

The blond stared back into the fire disinterestedly before speaking up. “He said he would be back before sunset.”

“Okay…” She sat down next to him. “Well, the sun is setting and he’s nowhere to be found.”

“Are you worried he left?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” She said truthfully. “We’ll need him if the demons come back tonight. And they will come back, won’t they?”

“Most certainly.” Alucard sighed lightly as he got to his feet. “Were you planning on staying here to defend Gresit again?

Sypha narrowed her eyes at him, surprised by his question. “Of course! We can’t abandon these people now, not after everything. With us here they stand a chance to survive”

“Perhaps, but we have more important things to attend to.” He replied with a shift in his voice and eyes, intimidating in the way he looked down at her. “I’ve let both of you rest because you needed it. Now we have to focus on finding a way to defeat my father.”

“Excuse me?” Sypha scoffed at his words, brushing off the feeling of fear the change in his voice instilled into her and replacing it with indignation. “They need us! If we leave now the demons will rip through this place and our efforts will have been for nothing!”

“But saving this city, in particular, is not our objective,” Alucard said slowly, eyes narrowed at the speaker. “Battling hordes of demons here will not help us reach our goal. A goal that, let me remind you, is time-sensitive.”

“Our goal is to stand up for the people!” She quickly raised from the ground. He tried to protest but she wouldn't let him. “Yes, we must defeat your father in the process, but what is the point of that if his army slaughters all humans by the time we manage to kill him? These people fought for their lives yesterday and survived. They can do it again! We can show them how to defend themselves so that when we come back from our mission, there will still be something living in Wallachia!”

Alucard recoiled a little at her outburst, eyes going slightly wider for a second. A short silence passed between them before he bowed his head, smiling in a way that made Sypha forget he wasn’t human for a moment. He nodded and spoke softly as if apologizing for the threatening tone he had used on her. “I see your point, Ms. Belnades. A fair one, that I can’t reasonably argue with. We’ll do as you say, for now. ”

“Thank you.” She replied quickly, calming herself and grateful for his change of heart. “And please call me Sypha. I don’t think anyone has ever called me Ms. Belnades in my entire life.” She said with a small laugh.

“Very well, Sypha...” The name rolled on his tongue tentatively as he nodded again. “Let’s try to find our brutish companion then, shall we?”

“I have no idea how we’re going to find him though. I’m sure he’s avoided people too so asking around probably won’t help much.” She sighed.

“Do we have something that belonged to him? That he held recently?”

“Why?”

His eyes shifted to the side briefly, opening his mouth to say something but changing his mind at the last second. “Do we?”

Sypha reached for the red piece of clothing Trevor wore at his waist that had served as her pillow today. She handed it to Alucard with a puzzled look and he took it reluctantly, sniffing it from a fair distance.

“Yes… That’s definitely his.” He said in disgust as he handed it back to her. “Let’s go.”

“Wait-” A smile crept up her face. “Are you going to track him? As in, smell around to find him? Like a dog?”

The vampire scoffed at her question, crossing his arms. “My powers give me a very keen sense of smell, among other things. So yes, I can _track him_ , as you say.”

“Like a dog.” She added, unable to hide her smile. He didn’t seem to find it funny though.

“I’d compare it more to a wolf, thank you.” He replied with an edge of annoyance. He was getting worked up over this out of all things and again it made him seem so human, Sypha couldn’t stop poking at him.

“Dogs and wolves are basically the same things though.”

“No. Dogs are stupid domesticated things who eat their own shit. Wolves are noble creatures with pride. I turn into a wolf, not a dog.” His voice went a pitch higher as he made his point, rolling his eyes and walking out of the house with the speakers behind him.

“H-Hold on. Did you just say you could turn into a wolf?!” She exclaimed, running to get in front of him with sparkling eyes.

“I… might-” He replied hesitantly, realizing too late what he had said as he stopped not to collide with the girl.

“How do you do it?”

“Magic...” He said averting his eyes and taking a step back, apparently finding Sypha too close for comfort.

“I know magic!” She put her hands on her chest to emphasize her words. “Could you teach me? I’m a fast learner! Oh, it’d be amazing!”

“I was thinking more of a vampire kind of magic.” Alucard replied with a small chuckle, clearly amused by her enthusiasm.

“Oh.” Her hands fell back to her side. _Of course_ it was a vampire thing. For a moment there she had forgotten he wasn’t human. Again. “Could you still show me at least?” She tried.

“I doubt the populace would like to see a white wolf walking their streets. It’d be more dangerous than anything for us.”

“Alright, alright, I guess that’s fair.” She crossed her arms in defeat but smiled back at the blond with a wink. “But you’ll show me someday right?”

He hesitated a few seconds, taking in her expression, almost studying her. He chuckled lightly as he shrugged, closing his eyes. “If you insist.”

Satisfied with the “ _kind of_ ” promise she turned around and gestured toward the street. “Let’s go find Belmont then. After you wolfy.” She added with a cheerful giggle.

“Please, do not call me that.” He replied quickly as he passed her to lead the way.

She followed him through the streets as he tried to track down their hunter. She wished she could have seen what he looked like as a wolf though. She bet he was an adorable fluffy thing and that’s why he didn’t want to show her. It was strange how she felt such familiarity with him. It was more human than she had anticipated. Taking a step into his personal space was difficult at first, she had to bypass the fear, this sort of survival instinct that told her she should be running like prey from a predator. But once _that_ threshold was crossed, she found that he was much more human than what Belmont would have her believe. There was still this awkwardness, this frigidity that seemed to emanate from an icy wall around him. But still, she was pleasantly surprised.

It didn’t take long before they arrived in front of the local tavern. Sypha should have guessed it, where else could he have been really? They entered the building and instantly found what they were looking for.

Trevor was slouched back on the chair, his head tilted to his shoulder, one arm resting on his stomach and the other dangling along his side. A tankard was on the floor under his hand, its content spilled as if he had dropped it in his slumber. He was sleeping soundly, not reacting at all to their presence. Perhaps _‘passed out’_ was a more appropriate word for his condition. The fire was still lit, but it had been neglected for some time now. How long had he been like this?

Alucard’s voice startled her out of her thoughts. “You want to defend Gresit from the horde… with this?” He said as he gestured toward the man.

She stopped herself from saying anything. There was nothing to say to defend her point.

He grabbed the back of the chair and tilted it forward until Trevor started sliding off. He woke up with a start, gasping as his hands reached for the chair to hold himself up before he could fall on the floor.

“W-what the fuck-”

He sat back quickly as he looked around him, seemingly confused as to where he was and looking at them like they were strangers. His glassy eyes and the redness of his face were telltale signs of his condition, along with the mumbling of his words when he came to his senses. He slouched back into his chair and sighed.

“You assholes again…” he murmured.

“Assholes?! You’re the asshole here!” Sypha yelled back, slapping the back of his head. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“I… was restin’.” He replied, looking up at her in such a condescending way it only made Sypha angrier.

“The sun is setting. The demons are going to attack again tonight! Do you expect to be able to fight in the condition you’re in?!”

Trevor only grunted in response, looking down to pick up his empty tankard. He went to refill it, but Sypha snatched it away. “I thought you were more than a mindless drunk, Belmont! And here it took you less than a day to prove me wrong! I hope you’re proud of yourself!”

“Not my fault your ex-pec-ta-tions are too high.” He mumbled, struggling with the long word. He looked away from her, rubbing his head and eyes as if trying to rub off his inebriety while Sypha groaned in exasperation. “Don’t get ya panties in a twist, I can still fight.”

“I doubt you’d be able to piss without wetting your own feet right now, much less fight without getting yourself killed.” Alucard said quietly, staring into the fire with his back to the hunter. He didn’t see Trevor glaring at him as he tried to get up only to fall back on his chair miserably, head spinning and stomach fragile from his abuse.

“Fuck you…”

“You have issues, Belmont.” The vampire continued, ignoring the insult. He turned back to face him, the low fire behind him illuminating his hair in a very ethereal way.

“Well, tough shit princess. Guess what? We all have issues. At least mine ain’t daddy related.” Trevor spat back with a shit-eating grin. Sypha let out a long infuriated groan, rolling her eyes as she took a seat on a nearby chair. Night would fall soon, they didn’t have time for this.

“And instead of working to resolve yours, you’re willingly sinking yourself deeper,” Alucard replied with a hint of irritation to his voice, although his features still held the same neutrality as always. He nodded his head toward the barrel next to Trevor. “You use this as a crutch and it has rendered you completely addicted to it.”

Trevor snorted again, rolling his eyes. “Right. ‘Cause that’s a thing now.”

“The addiction? Oh, it is.” Alucard got closer to him, eyes narrowed and fixed on Trevor’s laughing features. “All that shaking and vomiting today. The sweating and nightmares followed by insomnia, it’s not the first time you’ve felt like this I’m sure.” The closer he got to Trevor, the more disdain his voice held. “It’s called withdrawal symptoms.”

“Weed-what? You’re just spewin’ up bullshit now...”

“It means your body is making you feel like shit because it’s craving alcohol.” He continued, earning Sypha’s attention on the way. She pondered his words carefully. She had never heard of this, but it made a lot of sense. Alucard clearly had access to knowledge she didn’t, that no one had. It only made her more convinced of how much they needed him on their journey. And even afterwards, if he was willing… there was so much he could teach them.

“You wanna talk ‘bout cravings?” Trevor said with a smirk, ignoring the implication of what Alucard had just said. “Think ya got us mixed up here. Starin’ at me like a fuckin’ meal. Nice big vein I got there in my neck eh?” He made a point of exposing his throat, his head falling on the chair’s back heavily as if it was twice its normal weight. “Who’s cravin’ what?”

“Trevor! Stop provoking him!” Sypha exclaimed. The drunken man laughed and tried to reply, but Alucard interrupted him, ignoring her little comment.

He practically growled at Belmont, his face twisting into a scowl. He bent over him, his hand resting on the back of his chair. Sypha saw Trevor try to melt further into his seat, his eyes avoiding Alucard’s golden glare. “Your revolting ale poisoned blood would only make me sick, Belmont. Just as it’s making you sick, and a degenerate as well, apparently.” He replied in a quiet, sharp whisper, his face was a few inches above the hunter’s and Sypha was surprised Trevor hadn’t pushed him off yet.

“You thinkin’ yourself so much better than us.” Trevor retorted, his insolent smile slowly vanishing from his face as his hands tightened on the armrest and his face moved an inch closer to the vampire in defiance. “You’re just an arrogant son of a bitch. A bitch who went and caused the fuckin’ apocalypse ‘cause she wanted a piece of vampire dick-”

He couldn’t finish his tasteful thought. Alucard’s eyes went wide, his mouth opened in a hiss and his hand grabbed the man’s throat, sharp nails suddenly on the verge of piercing skin. Trevor flinched, his eyes locked on the fangs above him, but made no movement to get out of his hold.

“Alucard!” Sypha got up from her chair, her voice seemingly drowned in the anger flowing between the two men, but she saw him twitched at her voice and he let go of Trevor’s throat. His hand made a fist in the hunter’s tunic instead and he pushed him violently, sending both he and the chair backward. He fell on his back heavily, grunting in pain when his head hit the hard floor.

The vampire took a step back, breathing quickly, clearly trying to calm himself. He watched with a scowl as Trevor sloppily got to his feet, holding himself on the chair.

“You shit-eating bastard…” He cursed, tripping and falling back on his knees with a groan. “Cock sucking piece of-”

“You’re pathetic.” Alucard retorted, his features still overtaken by rage that seemed barely contained as if it would seep from his skin if he didn’t control himself. His voice grew heavier and louder. Although Sypha had never seen Dracula, she felt like she was seeing a little slice of what his presence must feel like right now through his son and it was paralyzing. “Have you nothing more to say for yourself but drunken vulgarity? Is it a family trait or is it just you, from years of miserably living like a dog, running away and doing everything in your power to ruin what little of a life you still have?”

“Shut the fuck up-”

“You’re a coward.” He continued, not letting him interrupt. His features were feral, but his words left his lips with all the grace and eloquence of a prince. “How long have you been running away, Belmont? From your own failures and inner demons? Do you even know? With all the abuse you’re perpetrating against yourself, it’s a wonder you still remember your own name. A miracle that you’re still alive. Aren’t you ashamed? Of keeping yourself numb to the world around you and your issues. To reduce yourself to nothing but a waste of space. You said you cared about doing your family’s work, about saving human lives. I see nothing in you capable of doing either of those things right now!” His words had more venom in them than Sypha thought possible from the man who had appeared so composed and calm, now so brutal and needlessly abusive. She found herself unable to step in, almost scared of what would happen if she interrupted him, but his threatening aura was lost on the hunter’s ale-drowned mind.

“Seriously you better shut your whore mouth now…” Trevor hissed, finally managing to stand up as he put the chair back to its feet along the way, supporting himself on it.

“Ah, did I touch a raw nerve there?” Alucard chuckled and smiled. A smile that didn’t make him look human at all, his sharp teeth too evident. “Of course I did. The truth always hurts. Honestly, I can only fathom at how you became _this_ , compared to the grand line of Belmonts that preceded you-”

Trevor didn’t let him finish, drunken anger flowing behind his blue eyes. In a movement much swifter than his opponent expected he grabbed the chair and launched it forward. Alucard barely had the time to raise his arms to shield his face. The old and fragile wooden furniture broke on impact, making him fall back to hit the wall behind him. Sypha’s eyes went wide, screaming Trevor’s name in shock and indignation. She saw Alucard's expression change, his eyes turning a horrible shade of red as he lunged at Trevor who struggled simply to stay on his two feet, composure lost to the wind for both of them.

Before they could collide into a deadly wrestle, Sypha summoned her magic and an icy wall rose in between them. Alucard quickly saw it and stopped in his tracks, but Trevor simply charged right into it and was pushed back thanks to his own momentum, collapsing on the ground with a groan. She retracted it as quickly and stepped in front of the vampire in a surge of courage.

“That’s enough!” She yelled. “What do you gain from offending him so?”

Alucard stared down at her, breathing heavily and making her feel so small with all this anger suddenly directed at her. It died out quickly when he held her determined gaze, realizing suddenly how the situation had gotten so out of hand. He bowed his head and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself before he looked away with a scoff, turning his back on the speaker to stare into the fire.

The silence that followed was heavy and Sypha cursed herself for letting all this spiral out of control before intervening. Where were they supposed to go from here? With their drunk hunter and infuriated soldier who couldn’t stand each other? With the night horde upon them and people seeking protection from the speakers and Belmont? They needed Trevor to fight tonight, but that wasn’t going to happen. He was a danger to himself and others more than anything.

A soft whisper stopped her thought process, barely audible, from the man behind her. It caught Alucard’s ear too and he looked back, staring at Trevor with still strong animosity in his eyes. They saw him sitting on the floor, legs bent, weight on his hip and supporting himself on one hand while the other rubbed his forehead. He looked up past Sypha, at the vampire, with eyes so full of rage while at the same time tired beyond words. His features turned into a snarl as he screamed.

“You! Don’t know shit ‘bout me!” He tried to get up but to no avail, falling back to the floor, out of breath and dizzy. “You’ve no right judgin’ me! You think I wanna be like this? You think I’m choosin’ this? I don’t know anythin’ else! I've been like this... for almost half. my. LIFE!” He yelled before looking away, a weak whimper escaping his lips. He hid his face in his hand as he kept going, unable to stop the shudders in his voice that became a whisper. “Y-you can’t… you can’t expect me to stop, t-to just… get my shit together just like that, you think it’s that easy? You think I don’t know? That I’m a goddamn wreck? A-a watered-down leftover... I know. I fuckin’ know... I-I can’t just- You can’t ask me to become the man you need overnight. I’m not… t-this is not...” The sobs became out of control and Trevor melted into a weeping mess under their bemused gaze.

It took a moment for Sypha to get out of her torpor, barely recognizing the man before her now. This was not the Trevor she had known for the past few days, or maybe it was the other way around? Was the rough, cocky wanderer who seemed so confident and uncaring just a mask? The guilt of her doubts and attitude towards him settled deep in her heart instantly. She had no idea, how could she? The man’s feelings were hidden in a locked chest, taking a whole barrel of beer and vicious provocations to open it ever so slightly and see a glimpse of what was inside. How could she have seen the extent of his distress, of how tormented he was under the hard and carefully laid shell that covered him entirely?

After a few tries, Trevor managed to get to his feet and staggered to the nearest table. He collapsed on a chair, his back to her and Alucard as he cursed some more and rubbed his eyes in a fruitless attempt to make the tears stop.

Sypha looked back at Alucard, seeking help as to how to handle this, but she found him bewildered. He stood still, staring at the crying man with what could only be described as utter shock, his earlier hostility and fury nowhere to be found.

“I-” Alucard appeared at a loss for words, for the first time since they encountered him.

“Please,” Trevor whispered. “Just… leave me alone.”

“No… if you stay here you’ll be at the demons' mercy,” Sypha replied quickly, trying to sound as calm as possible so as not to spark any more anger in the man. She slowly put her hand on his back after walking up to him. She felt him tense, but he let her, probably too exhausted at this point to protest. “Please come back with us. We didn’t… we didn’t realize- We didn’t mean to-” She tried forming a coherent sentence from every thought in her mind but it was more difficult than she anticipated. Her voice turned into a murmur unbeknownst to her. “We need you, Trevor. We can help you if you let us...” She wanted him to look back at her, see in her eyes how much she meant that. How sorry she was for not seeing the broken pieces that made him who he was.

The hunter seemed to consider her words, as much as he was able with a muddied mind that seemed to be sobering up somewhat after his emotional outburst. He groaned while still rubbing his head as if it would help him clear his thoughts but only succeeding in making his face even redder. He tried to speak between sniffs, the tears at least having finally stopped. “I-”

The high pitch scream of a demon followed by the terrified howl of an old man echoed outside, startling the three of them. Alucard quickly walked to the window, his hand reaching for his sword.

“They’re here,” Alucard said urgently, looking back at Sypha. “If you really wish to save this city, we cannot afford to stay here any longer.”

“We can’t leave him here!” She pleaded. She cared for Trevor, more than she wanted to admit, and she didn’t want harm to come to him in such a stupid way. Not after this, not after he had opened his heart to them like this. No matter if it was the ale’s fault, the feelings were still real.

“I can still fight,” Trevor said with a scowl, whipping the moisture away from his cheek and nose with the back of his hand. He moved to get up but stumbled back on his seat with a grunt while holding his stomach as if he was about to vomit. “I’m fine.”

“Sypha...” The vampire closed the distance between them, standing closer to her than he ever had and making her breathe in an all too elegant scent for the place they found themselves in. “The speakers will not be able to protect the populace without you. We need to go back, now, or your efforts to save these people will have been for nothing!” He repeated what she had told him earlier. He glanced briefly at Trevor. “Once we reach the morning, we can start worrying about this… issue.”

“It’s too dangerous…” She turned back toward Trevor, caressing his back in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture. “Trevor, please-”

“I’ll be fine.” He tried getting up again, concentrating on his steps and he managed to walk to the bar while repressing his nausea. He leaned his back on it to look at his two companions. “Just go.”

“But-”

“Sypha…” He didn’t let her protest. He sat down on a stool, closing his eyes in concentration to hold the insane amount of beer he had ingested inside him. “Please, just… go do what I can’t.”

His words resonated inside her, unsettling with the plea they held. She felt soft fabric against her hand, looking down to see Alucard had taken hold of her. She met his golden eyes that held a similar plea, to please go back to fight the horde and save the people she had already fought so hard to protect. He pulled on her hand, holding her gaze, reluctantly forcing her to make up her mind.

But did she really have a choice at this point?

She let Alucard lead her to the door, but she looked back at Trevor one last time. She needed to say something. One last sentence or simply a word that would make all of this right or better in the end, to repair some extent of the damage. To let him know she cared, that she wanted to ease this pain in whatever way she could. She found no such words to express accurately how she felt and settled for the next best thing; a plea of her own.

“You better still be alive when we come back for you in the morning. Promise me you’ll stay alive.”

“Sypha...” He sighed, shaking his head

“Promise me, Trevor.” She begged, her tone carrying more emotions than her words could. She felt Alucard’s hand tightened around hers.

Trevor stared back for a moment, appearing almost sober for the first time this evening. Maybe he was too tired to argue anymore, or maybe she did manage to convey her feelings to him. Make him understand that he was no longer alone. That she would not let him be. That she would make this right, as much as she could.

“I promise you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hesitated about Sypha's little piece of backstory, but I really enjoy the idea that her magic caused her a lot of trouble as a child and I wanted to make speakers not always as good as the ones we see in the show. Anyway. Hope you can get on board with it.


	7. Fragile peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A regular updating schedule? What's that?
> 
> This chapter has been proofread :O by the lovely [ Relagorikt! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relagorikt/profile)

Alucard wasn’t particularly fond of humans.

Even before they turned against his mother based on nothing but superstitions and killed her in the most horrid way they knew of, he never felt like he belonged with them. The contempt his father had for the human race as a whole didn’t help him see things otherwise for a large part of his short life. Despite how his mother kept repeating to him that they were his people just as much as they were hers, he had never found it in himself to mix with them. His experience with human interaction was, correspondingly, extremely poor and lacking, he would admit that much.

Now walking the bloodied streets of a human city, between corpses of demons and humans alike, passing by a mother crying over the dead body of her child and an old man talking to himself while maddeningly rocking back and forth, it hit him like a brick to the face just how little he knew about human life and the torments that came with it.

He had never found himself on this side of the mirror, on the human side. He had seen pain in his mother’s clinic, but what was around him now was not just simple illnesses and day to day accidents. It was misery and hopeless distress. He would have thought himself above all that, impervious to something as trivial as the loss of human lives that were already so fleeting anyway. But listening to the sobs of the mother he'd just passed, watching the numbness in the eyes of the little girl a few blocks back as she stared at a disembodied head and somehow feeling the dread and anguish all around him, it tightened his chest painfully.

And he did not like it. At all.

He heard another cry, a few streets away. A young woman, from the sound of the voice. Probably discovering one of her loved ones who didn’t survive the night. Pity bubbled up inside him uncomfortably. He was too much like his mother, wasn’t he? His father had told him so, so many times. No matter how much he tried detaching himself from it, all he could think about was how horrible it must be to live such short lives and be subjected to so much misery for a majority of it.

There would be more screams. More sobs. More children clutching their parent’s dead body in confusion and lovers still kissing dead lips in denial. The battle that took place here tonight had been too difficult and spread to save everyone. He had hoped the resistance the city put up last time would slow down the horde. It didn’t.

He poured all of his resources into the fight tonight and it still left him a panting mess, clothes sticky with sweat and his hair stuck to his face. It was the most exhilarating fight he had ever experienced, a true battle and not just a training designed by his father to shape him into a strong vampire. It would be a lie to say he didn’t enjoy it, but it left him with a crushing dread of the battle they were setting out for. Of how difficult the fight against his father would be. Would he really be able to do anything more than last time?

Maybe, maybe not, but he would not be alone this time. Sharing the throes of battle tonight reassured him almost childishly. Fighting alongside someone so… capable.

No, capable wasn’t the right word to describe it. To describe her. Alucard had been right in his first impression of the speaker. She was a force of nature and her magic was overwhelming. Watching her fight with such fury and control over the elements was simply breathtakingly beautiful in such a raw powerful way. He caught himself staring blatantly at her more than once during the fight, as much as he could while still remaining alive at least. He hadn’t felt this kind of admiration for a human since his mother. He wondered for a second if that was how his father felt when he met Lisa, seeing a human so out of his expectation that she left him pondering if she really was a human and not some kind of pagan goddess in mortal form. The thought was incredibly foolish and he repressed it quickly, every time it surfaced in his mind during the fight, which was much too often…

But it hadn’t been enough. No matter the magical prowess that Sypha mustered throughout the night, despite the valiant effort of the villagers that were willing and able to fight and his own investment in the battle for the city, many people died in vain. From what he had heard, even if more demons had without a doubt been slain, in terms of survivors they fared much worse tonight than the night before.

Was it because a certain hunter wasn’t there to skillfully relay orders to a disorganized and scared populace? There was no doubt in Alucard’s mind that the answer was yes.

He wasn’t saying this to blame him, far from it, but it was a cold hard fact for him. Belmont had his flaws, but it was evident that the leadership and authority he had on the villagers during the previous attack was a major factor in their resistance. How else could he explain how bad the night went despite Sypha and his own efforts? The only missing piece had been Trevor and all he could think about now was his crying features on the floor of the inn.

He didn’t understand why it had such an effect on him, to see him like this. What he understood very well was the crushing feeling of guilt he had felt afterward and disgust toward himself for not being able to keep his cool when confronted with the vulgar insults Trevor had for him. His mother was a sensible cord and whether the man had guessed it or simply lashed out at random, it surely had the desired effect on Alucard. He had wanted to hit an even more sensitive spot on the hunter and oh had he found it. He didn’t expect it to leave the man a weeping mess on the floor. Again, dealing with people and their emotions was far from his forte, but even he could see how unfair he had been. What he told him in his ragging outburst was mean, offensive, pointlessly hurtful and just downright malicious. It was like hitting a man, again and again, who was already half-dead on the floor. He should have been better than this, but no. He simply barked like a rabid dog, like an impudent teenager, like everything he prided himself in not being. So much for that…

Now walking anxiously behind his magician companion in the direction of the local tavern to retrieve their hunter and make sure he was still in one piece, which he no doubt was; this man seemed as hard to kill as a cockroach, he found himself in completely unknown territory. Now he was facing the task of apologizing, and somehow it felt even harder than the battle he had just fought.

“It was this way right?” Sypha asked frantically, walking as fast as she could without running. The battle took its toll on her as well, it was evident in the way her steps didn’t bounce like they had yesterday. No matter how much he told her to stay behind and rest, she insisted on retrieving Trevor first. No matter how he told her that he could go alone, she refused categorically. Whether it was because she didn’t trust him to be alone with the hunter or because she was too worried about the man’s wellbeing, he honestly couldn’t tell. Both explanations were probable.

“Alucard?” She slowed down to look back at him, making him realize he had remained silent for far too long.

“Yes, it’s just around the corner.” He replied quietly, refusing to look at her.

As much as he hated his loss of composure toward Trevor, he feared the effect it had on her as well. Sypha was a ray of sunshine that warmed him to the core, even in the short time he had known her. She had treated him with so much casualness like he was just another human amongst them and not the son of what was trying to eradicate her kind. He found himself so easily attached to her, his heart ached at the thought of her hating him. Trevor would hate him no matter what, it was ingrained into him and Alucard could accept it. Such thoughts were not so easily turned around, his father was a good example of that. All he hoped was for him to trust him enough to be able to fight side by side. But Sypha…

Deep down he wished they could do more than simply trust each other and actually be… he wasn’t sure what. The notion was too foreign for him to be able to put a name on it. But whatever it was, he feared he might have done a very bad job at ensuring whatever this was to ever be.

“Can you still smell him?” She asked hesitantly.

“No. His scent is drowned in all the fresh demon filth and corpses.”

“Yes…” She slowly came to a stop, his words sinking in. “I suppose Trevor does smell of death to some extent too.”

That’s not what he meant, but it was not untrue. Trevor smelled of cheap ale, sweat, blood and piss. Death could easily smell like something similar. He decided to keep the thought to himself however.

“He was too drunk to fight, Alucard.” Sypha continued, staring at nothing in particular on the floor. She hugged herself and closed her eyes. “If demons got to him-”

“I have no doubt in my mind that he’s fine.” He cut her off without thinking. “I wouldn’t be surprised if his fighting skills are actually enhanced when he’s intoxicated.” He forced what he hoped was a reassuring smile, finally looking back at her. He was surprised to hear her laugh at his comment.

“That does sound like him.” She took a deep breath as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry, I just… I hated to leave him there alone in his state. I’m worried…”

“We’ll get there only to find him asleep in front of the fire with a demon dead at his feet, you’ll see.” He finally said, gently putting his hand on her shoulder. Even through the heavy fabric of her speaker robe and his own glove, the heat radiating from her was exhilarating on his cold hand. The small smile and nod he received for his words told him he was doing an adequate job at this whole reassuring thing at least.

He was surprised by an all too warm hand on his chest and he stared down at the contact briefly before looking back at Sypha. She smiled at him with all her features, with so much sincerity it was as if even her eyes were smiling at him as well. The proximity made his stomach clench, but he ignored it with all his might.

“Thank you.” She whispered softly before taking another deep breath and turning around to continue down the street. “Let’s hurry to him. The sooner I see him the sooner I’ll feel much better about all this.”

Alucard nodded, even if she didn’t see him. They walked the rest of the way in silence and arrived at the tavern with hesitant steps. Sypha walked through the door frame first, eager while at the same time scared of what she would find. Alucard followed and scanned the room quickly, seeing two demon corpses on the floor. One of them had its head missing and the other had a woodcutting axe sunk between his two eyes.

No hunter in sight, but Alucard simply let his nose guide him toward the smell of vomit…

And as predictable as that, he found their hunter, slouched on the floor behind the bar.

“I found him.”

Sypha rushed to his side and gasped at the sight. She promptly got to her knees beside him, both hands clutching at his shoulders as if to make sure he was really there.

“Is he…”

“He’s just sleeping. He’s alive.” Alucard replied before she could ask. Although he did notice the red strain on his sleeve, fabrics torn as if something had bitten into his shoulder. There was a piece of cloth wrapped tightly around the wound to stop the bleeding. Seemed like the demons managed a few hits and that even drunk, Trevor knew his way around basic first aid. It shouldn’t have surprised him that much.

The speaker gently called his name, but her voice grew louder quickly, trying to wake him up. She cupped his face with both hands, shaking him slightly. “Trevor?!”

The man groaned in protest, but his eyes finally fluttered, trying to adjust to the soft light of dawn. He seemed disoriented, staring back numbly at Sypha who was barely a foot away from his face. His good arm raised slowly and he rubbed his eyes sluggishly, smearing blood over his face in the process.

“Trevor! Are you alright?” She asked much too loudly for his barely awake ears. Alucard saw the man flinch at the sound.

“G-get off me…”

She froze at his words, hesitantly letting go of his face. Her hand remained hovering above his shoulders, still invading his personal space. He grunted again, face twisting as his arm shot up to push her away from him. Alucard didn’t miss the dejected look on Sypha’s face, but when Trevor turned away from them and emptied the contents of his stomach on the floor beside him, she suddenly seemed grateful to be pushed away.

His supporting arm shook under him, coughing wetly a mixture of bile and beer between rasping gulps of air. After he managed to breathe steadily for a few seconds he spit and slouched back against the counter.

“I don’t say this often.” He rasped, obviously dehydrated as his cough turned dry. “But fuck I drank too much…”

Alucard rolled his eyes at the statement, which was the understatement of the year. Still, he was relieved to see the man was in one piece and still with all his wits about him. Sypha, however, burst out laughing at the comment and it echoed in the tavern, startling both Alucard and Trevor with the pure euphoria she was suddenly displaying. She laughed so much, her eyes started watering and she brought one hand to her chest. Alucard wondered for an instant if she had suddenly gone mad.

“I-” She took a few deep breaths, glancing back at the hunter as she wiped a small tear from the corner of her eye. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”

Trevor averted his eyes uncomfortably, his voice so ragged Alucard wouldn’t have recognized him if he had his eyes closed. “Don’t get all weepy on me now.”

“I’m impressed,” Alucard said as he looked past the bar at the two demons. “Even inebriated, you still know your way around a fight. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”

Sypha shot him an exasperated look, but he failed to see why at first.

“Oh, you shut your bloodsucking freak of nature mouth you.” Trevor retorted angrily, looking completely exhausted and with no patience left in him. His eyes held an animosity toward Alucard that reminded him of his delicate situation. Right... now was not the time for their little game of push and pull. It was the only way he had learned to interact with the man however and found himself at a loss as to how to approach him any other way.

Trevor sucked in a breath when he moved his wounded arm to help stand himself up. Sypha quickly got a hold of him to help. He leaned half on her half on the counter as he stood slowly, scraping his throat to try to bring his voice back to normal before looking back at Alucard. “You look like shit.” He mumbled.

“That’s generally what happens when one fights, Belmont.” Alucard replied with a frown, straightening his coat and running a hand through his hair to smooth it. “I could say the same about you.”

The other man scoffed at his words, leaning against the bar and pointing at the demons with his chin. “Yeah well, I hope your battle went better than mine ‘cause that wasn’t pretty.”

“Nothing about tonight’s battle was pretty,” Sypha replied honestly. “Some villagers that helped us yesterday did so again but… well, it was disorganized.” She seemed to stop herself from saying any more than that, seeing Trevor’s gaze drift off.

“I don’t care.” He muttered under his breath. “You two are still in one piece. It’s all that matters if we want to put an end to this and kill your good ol’ daddy.” He replied, glaring at the vampire briefly. Alucard repressed the comeback he had on the tip of his tongue, barely. Trevor rubbed his forehead, trying to suppress what was probably a very persistent headache.

The man got out of Sypha’s hold and walked past Alucard on wobbly feet, giving his wounded shoulder a roll tentatively. He moved to one of the demons and stared at the axe lodged deeply into its head. After a moment of hesitation, his hand rose to grab the handle, pulling it out with a grunt before tying it at his waist where his short sword used to be. “We should get out of here. I’m tired of smelling my own vomit.”

When Alucard finally tore his eyes away from him, he was suddenly aware of Sypha staring at him as well, with strange anticipation. Or, apprehension was perhaps a more accurate word for it.

“Trevor… a-about last night-”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Trevor replied quickly, shoulder tensing with his back still turned. “I was just piss drunk, I say all kinds of weird shit when I’m wasted. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Of course he wouldn’t want to talk about it. It implied talking about his feelings and his issues with liquor, two things Alucard suspected were the man’s least favorite subject of conversation. Trevor’s icy eyes glazed with tears flashed in his mind, making the guilt fester in his chest more.

“Still… what you told us-” Trevor wasn’t going to let her approach that subject. Not now, probably never.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come back yesterday to fight like I said I would.” He said quickly, slowly walking toward the entrance of the inn with uneven steps. “And I’m sorry about everything I… did and said last night. It had just been a really long bitch of a fucking day and I needed…” He stopped himself, apparently not sure what he meant to say or what he meant to admit perhaps. “It won’t happen again. I promise.” The rest of his sentence came out in a murmur as he passed the decapitated demon to reach the door.

“Trevor, wait!” Sypha went after him but he was already out in the street. Alucard silently thanked the emotional constipation and stubbornness of the man. If he wanted to ignore everything that happened yesterday and keep going as if nothing had happened, that was more than fine by him…

He followed his two companions outside, catching Sypha pressing her hands against Trevor’s back as he leaned on the wall with one hand, his other rubbing his stomach. He looked like he was about to throw up again but he apparently did a good job at repressing it. He took a few deep breaths, letting the speaker gently caress his back in some kind of motherly reassurance and show of concern. It didn’t last long until he stepped away from her touch, repeating that he was alright and that they needed to think about their next move.

“We should go back to my people.” Sypha proposed as she invited them to follow her. “Get some rest and eat. There are still plenty of people to help too. Bodies to retrieve…”

Trevor only grunted dismissively in response, probably not caring what they did as long as he got to lay down and let his hangover pass. Alucard and Sypha exchanged a knowing glance, silently agreeing to leave him be. For now.

As they walked back to their temporary house, Trevor stumbled many times along the way, groaning at the sun for being too bright, at the air around them smelling horrible and making him want to puke even more, at the road being too unstable for his wavering balance. Sypha and Alucard ignored him.

A deep voice called for Sypha when they turned a corner. She turned back in a flash, recognizing one of the speakers further down the street who was helping survivors along with other citizens. A woman with her child was wounded a few feet away, scared and traumatized as she refused to let the man come near her. The speaker gestured for Sypha to come help him and the girl didn’t spare a single second thinking about it before she sprinted to them. At least she tried, but before he could think of why and what he was doing, Alucard reached for her wrist and stopped her.

“Wait, you need to rest. You can’t just go around exerting yourself all day. We need you to fight, you’ll make yourself sick at this rate.” He pointed out with a voice that sounded much too pleading. His features probably conveyed the same feeling because she hesitated before smiling at him, so softly, warm and comforting. She took his hand in hers and squeezed gently.

“It is not a speaker thing to ignore those in need. I can still walk. I can still work. These people need help. Just because I can also fight doesn’t mean I can’t help afterward too.

“Sypha, please-”

“I’ll rest when I’m dead, Alucard.” She insisted with a small laugh, letting go of his hand as she turned back to walk toward the other speaker. “Go back to the house, we’ll meet later. Don’t worry about me.”

And just like that, she was off, kneeling down by the woman who was clutching her son in her bloodied arms to help her with the same hands that shot fire and ice at man-eating monsters the whole night.

He found himself wondering, again, if she was really just a normal human woman and not some mythical creature he was unaware existed.

When he managed to tear his gaze away from her he found Trevor looking at her with similar admiration. The respect and amazement bordering on worship was evident in his eyes and Alucard related to it all too much.

“They don’t deserve her.” He heard the hunter say quietly, more to himself than Alucard, but he nodded nonetheless to acknowledge the comment. If there was one thing the two could agree on it was this. Trevor looked at him briefly, noticing the silent agreement. “None of us do.” He added before turning away to leave.

Alucard was forced to agree on this too.

They managed to cover only half the remaining distance before Trevor had to stop. He sat down on a crate lying around next to an alleyway with a deep grunt, holding his head.

“Go on ahead, I’ll catch up. I just… need a minute.”

“I’m not leaving you alone after what happened last night, Belmont.” He replied quickly, without thinking too much about it. He only realized after the words left his mouth what it implied. He closed his eyes in regret, already hearing the hunter scoff at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean huh? You have something to say? I bet you do. It must be agonizing, how much you want to patronize me, you snotty prick…” Trevor spat back, glaring up at him in such a hostile way it made Alucard’s hand rise to rest on the hilt of his sword instinctively.

“Belmont…” It came out more as a warning to watch his tone and less like the calming plea for peace he aimed for. His chest tightened as he tried to form a coherent and eloquent phrase in his head to convey just how much he regretted his words from last night. Difficult was a euphemism for the task. “I know you’d rather not talk about it and I understand but I-”

“Don’t. I know what you’re going to say and frankly, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“You don’t understand. What I told you last night-”

“What you told me last night, I already knew it, alright? All of it! And yes, I fucked up. Again! I fucking know, I don’t need you coming in here to lecture me like some kind of ethical saint! Sorry for being just a man! Can’t all be perfect like you, mister _‘high moral ground’_ vampire.” He yelled back, immediately regretting it as his eyes squinted and he rubbed his scalp, his voice sounding too loud to his ears.

Great, the man was already losing his cool. So much for doing this smoothly. “That’s not what I’m trying to say.”

“I don’t give a shit what you’re trying to say! If you have more venom to spit, go find someone else to spit it at! I’m too fucking tired for your crap, you self-absorbed motherfucker-”

“Belmont! For fuck’s sake!” Alucard caught himself raising his voice and made a conscious effort to try to bring it back down. “I’m trying to apologize to you right now, you’re making it awfully difficult!”

Trevor recoiled, eyes going slightly wider as he tried to process his words. “Oh...”

“Yes, so please, if you could just shut your profanity spitting hole for a minute so I can say what I have to say without feeling a devastating need to punch you, that would be wonderful.” He had never heard his own voice sound so exasperated before…

At least it had the desired effect on Trevor. The man looked almost ashamed, not knowing how to reply. He simply averted his eyes and kept his mouth shut, inviting the vampire to finish what he was trying to say. Alucard exhaled loudly, closing his eyes as he tried to choose his words carefully.

“Look, I know you hate me. I understand. You and I are natural enemies and nothing I do or say will change that. I don’t expect us to become friends here. What I’m looking for is a hunter. A hunter I can trust in a fight against my _father_ , the most powerful vampire to ever walk the world. I believe there is no better man for the job than you and I mean that wholeheartedly.”

His words made Trevor look up at him in surprise and it only made Alucard feel more ashamed of everything he had told him the night before…

“I wish we could at least muster enough trust between us to have each other’s back in a fight and I have made a very bad job at ensuring this. What I told you last night was beyond vicious and terribly unfair. I shouldn’t have risen to your drunken provocation but I did. Very crudely. I lashed out and I have no excuse for it. I said things that no one deserved to hear. I’m sorry, about all of it. You-” He hesitated, but it was too late. The train of thought was already set in his head. He had already made it this far, he might as well go all the way. “You’re a good man, Belmont. You need to see that. You’re not the mess you think yourself to be. We all have issues, but they do not define us.”

He stared back with a strange mix of emotion Alucard was too nervous to try and discern. He got lost in the moment for a few seconds, looking back into his dried blood framed blue eyes and feeling lost in them. He had to will himself to look away, closing his eyes and bowing his head.

“I truly am sorry, please forgive me. I assure you this will not happen again.”

He waited for a reply, but after what seemed like a full minute his eyes fluttered open anxiously, searching for any kind of reaction to his attempt at an apology. He found Trevor’s gaze still fixed on him in complete bewilderment. Only when their eyes met did he seem to suddenly remember he had to be part of this conversation. He looked away quickly, rubbing the back of his neck as his shoulders tensed.

“Well damn. I was not- I didn’t…” He groaned, obviously having as much trouble with this as Alucard. “I did not expect that, coming from you. I mean, I appreciate it!” He added defensively. “But it’s- I acted like a grade-A asshole, I deserved some rough talk. I provoked you, for no… no real reason other than that I’m a jerk.”

“You were drunk, I did not have such an excuse for my behavior. What I told you was uncalled for.”

“Yeah, well, some of it was true anyway. I have…” He sighed with a shrug, interrupting himself, shame evident on his features as he avoided Alucard’s gaze. “Whatever. I… I did call your mother a bitch. Now _that_ was uncalled for. I’m sorry about that, I really am.”

Alucard marvelled at how Trevor’s words felt like wings taking away the heavy weight off his shoulders. The painful knot of guilt in his chest was untangled almost instantly when Trevor looked up at him with what could almost be called a smile. His eyes at least didn’t hold the hatred and anger they had earlier and it was ridiculous how much better it made him feel. God this whole human interaction business was exhausting…

He extended his hand to the hunter with a smile of his own, offering to help him stand. “Let’s call it even then, shall we? And agree to maybe try to get along a little better, if only for Sypha’s sake. I believe our immature harassment toward each other will end up with her killing us before my father’s army does.”

Trevor laughed at his comment. A real laugh. Not directed at him in mockery, but echoing pleasantly along with his own. It was a nice change, he had to admit.

“You’re right, I’m more scared of her fire than the night hordes. She’s one scary woman, but I suppose that makes all her charm.” Again, Alucard had to agree. Truly, Sypha embodied everything they could agree on. “I… I still don’t trust you, Alucard. I was raised to hate you and I can’t turn it around overnight. Nothing can be turned around overnight…” He added with another deep sigh as he took his offered hand and stood up. He released it just as quickly. “But you did fight tonight when I couldn’t, that counts for something. So… Well, let’s say my _‘I want to stake you’_ meter is as low as it’s ever been right now. That’s a good thing, right?”

“I’ll take it,” Alucard replied with a nod, unable to suppress the smile from his lips. “My _‘I want to rip your throat out’_ meter is also below average, for now.”

“Eh, good enough for me.”

They resumed their walk toward the speaker house in what could be called the most comfortable silence they ever shared since they'd met, and Alucard was oddly grateful for it. Their conversation didn’t clear out the core of the problem, but it would be enough for now. Speaking about Trevor’s drunken outbursts from last night and the adjacent problem of his seemingly functional alcoholism was probably not something they’d be able to talk about ever. He could only hope it wouldn’t become too much of an issue on their mission. He had just barely managed to almost make the man trust him a little bit, he wasn’t going to jeopardize this by trying to poke at the most vulnerable part of him in a clumsy attempt to help him.

When they passed a back alley, Alucard noticed the sound of Trevor’s footsteps stopping and he turned around to see why. The man was staring at the little street with wide eyes, frozen in place as if by a spell.

“Belmont?”

He didn’t reply. Instead, he took a few slow steps into the alley, whispering to himself something he couldn’t discern. Alucard frowned and stepped into the street as well, following him. The scene that greeted him was gruesome, but nothing out of the ordinary in a city that had been raided by demons for days now. A man was lying in the middle of the alleyway, or at least, his head was. The corresponding body was slouched against the wall, bloodied and already showing signs that scavengers had come his way. The man’s head stared at his feet, brown eyes empty and dulled in the middle of a strong face framed with black hair and an impressive beard.

Ah yes, he recognized it. He had passed by it on his way to the tavern. Earlier there had been a little girl staring at it though, her own brown eyes lifeless despite still being alive. Hopefully her relatives had come to get her. Or anyone, really. He looked back at Trevor in confusion, not understanding what was causing him to stop at this scene in particular.

“Did you know him?” He tried again to get a reaction from him, but he ignored him completely as he simply stared at the head. Listening more closely, Alucard heard him talking to himself.

“I told him to stay...”

“Belmont, what are you talking about?”

“I told him to stay. I told him I… I would stay. T-teach them. I told him…”

A choked sound came out of his throat and his fist rose in front of his mouth as if repressing another bout of vomiting. Alucard hesitantly tried to put his hand on his shoulder, trying to get him out of his sudden torpor, but he sank to his knees unsteadily at the same time as his breathing grew heavy. His hand passed over his face, shaking and sweaty while he cursed in a wavering voice.

“F-fuck, I told him to stay. I told him to stay. I told him to stay and I didn’t… I wasn’t there.” He bent down, supporting his weight on a trembling, tightly closed fist. “I didn’t even ask his name…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trevor gets NO rest


	8. The survivor's guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know this "implied/referenced suicide" tag? Well it's pretty fucking relevant here. Very much so. 
> 
> I'm trying not to lose control over this fic but it's difficult, as shown by my horrible updating schedule. Don't think I can even call it a schedule at this point. But anyway. It's all for fun. I have to remind myself of that, as I rewrite entire chapters 3 times over because I'm not satisfied. It's ridiculous.
> 
> This chapter has been proofread :O by the lovely [ Relagorikt! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relagorikt/profile)

Trevor woke up to the smell of his own sweat, blood, and beer on his breath. It took a moment for him to realize where he was, laying down on a makeshift bed inside a house. He blinked a few times through the mist in his eyes, confused as to how he got there. The first thing he noticed was that his tunic was open and his arm was out of its sleeve, leaving him cold and shivering. Once he was able to bring his eyes back into focus he saw his gear and weapons carefully set on a barrel further away, down on the neatly folded piece of cloth he usually wore at his waist. Even his good old winter cloak was hanging there. He didn’t remember removing any of this.

Also, his shoulder hurt a lot.

He tried to sit up with a grunt, but a gentle hand pressed him back down, telling him something he couldn’t hear clearly. His head hurt like a bitch, his mouth was dry, the light was hurting his eyes and his stomach was upside down. A hangover was his immediate conclusion.

The person next to him was an old woman wearing a speaker robe. She was dressing the wound on his shoulder with care. How did he get that?

Ah yes. The fight in the tavern. Then Sypha and Alucard came to get him, he puked a bunch, he had a little heart to heart conversation with the bloodsucker that frankly he didn’t expect to have and then-

Then…

The image of lifeless brown eyes on a decapitated head invaded his mind and his body tensed, breath catching in his lungs and eyes going wide at the memory. He hazily recalled sinking to his knees in the street, seized by panic and guilt that shook him to the core. The rest was a big blur but he vaguely remembered Alucard holding him to help him walk. It was all so ambiguous, as if he had dissociated from his body. He tried remembering more accurately but the thoughts spun in his head with such force it felt like they were physically bumping on the inner walls of his skull.

The only clear thought in his mind was that the kind innkeeper he had met yesterday was dead. He told him to stay, that he would show them how to fight the horde and the man had listened. He stayed to defend the city and what did Trevor do? He did nothing. He got drunk and abandoned them. Just a little sip, he had thought to himself, but he hadn’t been able to stop until his hands felt like balls of cotton. He didn’t think it was possible for him to fuck up that badly, but here he went and reached new heights of failure. That’s why he never got involved. That’s exactly why he wandered village to village for years without ever getting attached to anyone. It was easy to pass through so much destruction and human misery when there was no precise face attached to it. Now misery had a very specific face in Trevor’s mind. The anger and guilt that swirled in his gut almost made him vomit again.

The woman beside him reached for his chest when he tried to get up clumsily. Her accent was similar to Sypha’s but more subtle. “Don’t move so much yet, I’m not done bandaging your wound. You should rest.”

“ I’m fine.” He mumbled back, breathing heavily as his heart beat wildly in his chest.

“ You are not.” She was having none of his bullshit, was she? She not so gently pushed him down, forcing him to lay back with all the authority of a mother refusing to let her sick son play outside.

Trevor reluctantly let go, groaning in displeasure at how he was forced to just lay down with nothing to do but think of how miserable he felt right then. The old speaker finished covering the gash on his shoulder, inspecting her work and making sure she didn’t miss any cuts along the rest of his arm. She grabbed his hand, turning it palm up toward her and she froze when her eyes settled on his wrist. Trevor felt the abrupt stop in her movement and immediately removed his hand from her grip, knowing exactly what had made her stop. Their gazes met and the pity he saw in her eyes made him want to slug her, elderly or not. The aggression must have been pretty evident on his features by the way she recoiled and looked away. She mumbled something about him needing rest and left him alone in the small house, giving him one last look of disgusting sympathy he hated.

He sat up slowly with a deep, tired sigh and turned to sit on the edge of the bed. His headache was less than cooperative in the process, making the room spin like a pinwheel. His elbows came to rest on his knees and he sat there in silence for god knows how long, staring with bleary eyes at the coarse faded line on his wrist that had made the old speaker freeze. He could understand the reaction. Those ugly scars always seemed to glare back at him. To mock him. Now was no different, on the contrary, it was worse. It spoke to him, to the culpability and shame overwhelming him. ‘You should have minded your own goddamn business. You should have shut your goddamn mouth like you always do. Look at what you get when you try to act like a hero, making promises you can’t keep. God, you should have cut deeper back then.’

It was maddening how so many parts of his life were just a big blur, but sitting in the gutter, cold and hungry, knife against his wrist,  _ that _ he remembered as clear as his mother’s collection of crystal glasses. The blemish made sure he remembered. Trevor had his fair share of scars, some acquired very stupidly, others inevitable despite his best efforts to avoid them. But the ones on his wrists were heavy and made his chest tighten whenever he laid eyes on them. Maybe that’s why he loathed bathing so much. It forced him to look at them, at those scandalous marks that screamed, loud and resonant. They shouted to the world of his humiliation, drowned in the fact that they were self-inflicted.

It had been a desperate act, driven by a mad frenzy, an overpowering need to do something,  _ anything _ . To act and make a conscious choice about his life that would have some kind of meaning. Was his action guided by this search of a peace that death seemed to promise? Probably, but what he had wanted was to feel something at this breaking point of his life where truly nothing mattered anymore. What he had felt as life escaped him was nothing but self-disgust. When he woke up later, blood pooled under his hand but not enough to leave him dead, this feeling of revulsion toward himself grew tenfold. He had lain on the ground for hours afterwards, wondering at how much of an idiot he was for not even being able to do this correctly. Still, he didn’t try to finish the job either, his initial courage to act completely gone.

Now those white lines across his dirty skin taunted him every time they were exposed, forcing him to remember with too much accuracy the terrifying despair he had felt back then. That he had tried to end it and failed. Maybe deep down he had just been too scared to die. He didn’t remember how old he was back then, but he knew he was too damn young to understand any of that existential bullshit. He knew better now. Death was a whore and he would gladly fuck that bitch’s brain out with eagerness when his time would come. Trevor wasn’t afraid to die anymore and to some extent, each drop of ale on his tongue reminded him that he had chosen to kill himself slowly instead, ironically forcing his mind into an everlasting state of lethargy while he had so desperately wanted to feel something back then, if only for one last time.

But now all he could think about was that yes, he should have cut deeper. He should have put the knife to his throat instead. Better yet, he should have died along with his family, never to be remembered again. Maybe then the man he had met yesterday would still be alive. He would have left this shit hole with his family and live. Or maybe not, maybe he would have died anyway, his kids along with him. Maybe his kids were dead too, he had no idea and he didn’t want to know. What he knew was that he had never hated himself so much. Had he not lost himself to his own personal poison last night, maybe he would have been able to do more. The uncertainty of it all was eating him alive, but like most feelings that came his way in his life, he bottled it all up.

He managed to muster enough willpower to button up his shirt after putting his arm back into his sleeve. Those nasty demon teeth really did a number on his tunic, he noticed. Great, he would need to sew that up later. Getting up on wobbly feet he slowly walked to his belongings, mechanically working to get everything back in place. His fingers brushed against his whip and his eyes lingered on the woodcutting axe next to it. It was pretty ironic. If the man hadn’t left it at the inn last night, Trevor would have probably died against the two demons that attacked him. He was too inebriated to use his whip properly, especially in such a closed space, and his short sword laid in pieces in the catacombs of Gresit. The axe had saved his life, while its original owner might have died because of its absence. Always with the maybes and what-ifs…

He left his cloak where it was. The air around him was already feeling hot and suffocating enough as it was. No matter how deeply he breathed it was as if only half of it reached his lungs. He needed to get out of here, get some cold air in him, naively thinking it would help shatter all those unwanted feelings inside him.

He had to squint his eyes at the bright morning light that assaulted him. The scene that greeted him outside was far from reassuring. There were many wounded scattered around with speakers spread among them, working to treat the graver wounded. He caught sight of a messy puff of strawberry blonde hair poking out of an oversized blue robe. Sypha was helping a man out of his bloodied shirt, revealing some pretty nasty claw marks on his abdomen. She looked like shit, to be honest. Dark circles under her eyes made her look older than she was and there was blood all over her robe that he suspected wasn’t hers. She was a mess, but still, she smiled and worked and did her best. It was maddening how inadequate he always felt when he looked at her.

Alucard stood not too far from her, sitting in the shade and busy wrapping the head of a little girl with bandages. The image would have made him laugh normally, but right now it felt appropriate that even the freaking man-eater was being more useful and caring than he was.

What he noticed next were all those heads that turned to him when he emerged from the house. Many people looked at him with a strange expression he wasn’t able to describe. Something akin to hope? Expectation? He didn’t like it at all.

The cold wind made him regret his cloak, but the sun did an adequate job of warming him nonetheless. It was way too fucking bright though, it made his headache unbearable. He didn’t know what to do from here. Join Sypha and Alucard? For what? He was useless when it came to medical care outside basic first aid. Anyway, he would never trust himself enough to try to treat another person. He wasn’t particularly keen on the idea of talking to them at all. Not after everything. What he wanted right now was to disappear and stop feeling, all together. He considered running back to the tavern for a fraction of a second, but his stomach and the small voice of reason he somehow still had made him know it was the worst thing he could possibly do right now. He stumbled for a few steps and sat down on a crate in front of the house with an irritated grunt instead, holding his head in his hands to try and suppress the splitting throb that was ripping through his brain. It did little for the pain in his chest though.

“ I am glad to see you well my friend.” The voice of Sypha’s grandfather reached his ears before he saw the man. He walked up to Trevor with that strange serene expression he always seemed to have.

Fuck he didn’t have it in him to entertain small talk right now. Anything but that. He barely glanced at him before humming disinterestedly.

The man sat down next to him nonetheless, ignoring Trevor’s obvious attempt at being an anti-social asshole. “I was hoping to speak with you. I didn’t have the occasion to thank you for everything you have done. Without you, my dear Sypha would still be frozen in stone in those awful catacombs.”

“ You already thanked me.”

“ Indeed I did. I wish it was enough, but were it not for you, my whole tribe would probably also be dead by now. You stood up for us. For the people. There are no words to express just how grateful I am to you. I know it must have been difficult for you, considering-.”

“ With all due respect, I think you don’t know shit...” He interrupted him, finally looking back with animosity he simply wasn’t able to repress. He was tired. He was angry. He felt defeated. He didn’t have the patience for this kind of talk.

“ I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you.” He raised a hand in front of him defensively, his eyes silently pleading the younger man to listen to what he had to say. “I am not here to patronize you and I beg you not to see my words as accusations or judgments. Simply an offering of wisdom, from an old speaker who has seen too many good men defeated by the darkness in their own heart.”

Trevor froze at the words at first, having trouble processing them. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“ I am simply concerned about what you plan to do now.”

“ Oh I see, you’re scared I’m going to run away and leave you without a hunter for your little prophecy? Is that what this is? Maybe you should have told me about all that bullshit firsthand instead of driving me into this lie of omission!”

“ Not as such. You are free to do whatever you want Trevor. I admit I am scared, however, that you’ll use whatever excuse you can find to run away from yourself now.”

“ And what the hell is that even supposed to mean? You speakers and your riddles and your twists of words, it’s really starting to get on my nerves and believe me, I am running out of patience at an alarming rate right now! I don’t owe you anything! I don't-” He scoffed through gritted teeth. “I’m not the man you think I am. You people ask too much of me.”

“ It is true that you are faced with an imposing task. It is only natural to feel fear in such a situation.”

“ I’m not fucking scared. I’ve never been scared of anything in my fucking life!”

He must not have been very convincing. It was such a blatant lie. The elder’s voice dropped lower again and held a sadness that made Trevor uncomfortable as much as the words themselves. “Trevor, I have seen too many people unable to deal with the horrors of their lives, time and time again. I see all those people in you and it saddens me. This fear of responsibility, of failure, of not being enough. To be unable to meet expectations. I’ve seen too many men fall prey to their insecurities and I would find it most unfortunate if you were to declare yourself defeated, again, allowing yourself to fall back into your misery and sorrow. I know deep down you do not wish for this either.”

Trevor looked away as he felt the shame and guilt rise in his throat again. It boiled until it threatened to spill from his eyes, tears building up silently. He repressed them with the skills of a man who had always smothered such things for years very successfully. He was very much sober right now, and he didn’t cry when he was sober. Right?

“ You don’t know what you’re talking about...” His mind was already going down the road the speaker had revealed and it hurt a lot. Because it was true and it angered him how easily the man had read him like an opened book, exposed on the most vulnerable page. He was scared of failure. Of not being enough. That was the story of his fucking life. Had last night not proven already that he wasn’t enough? That he was unfit for the task? He was just a lost man. No, not even a man. He had been forced to grow up and call himself as such, but he was still just a boy with clothes he was unworthy to wear and weapons that should have never come his way under normal circumstances. If only he had been home that day. If only his elder brother had been the one out on a hunting trip with their father. The true heir of this warrior family, with the mental solidity, sense of duty and pride Trevor had always lacked.

A melted face flashed in his mind along with a name, the name of his brother that he forcefully squashed back into the deepest recesses of his brain. He didn’t want to remember, just like he didn’t want to remember the innkeeper. He didn’t even know his name for fucks sake. He was such a poor excuse for a human being. The cruelty of him still living when all those better people were not was infuriating. He should have fucking died in that gutter years ago. He should have kept the wound on his wrist open. Should have driven that knife straight to his heart. He should have…

He felt the elder’s hand on his shoulder, bringing him out of the spiraling trail of thoughts that were drawing him deeper and deeper into self-loathing. He couldn’t help but tense, both from the gentle touch and the fact that he had bent over to hug himself without realizing it. He closed his eyes tightly, forcing the water accumulated on his lower eyelid to fall to the ground beneath him.

“ Sypha told me what happened last night, why you weren’t here.” The speaker said softly, his hand anchored to Trevor’s shoulder. “You are not the first man with his own personal demons to fight, Trevor. You won’t be the last. It does not make you less of a man.”

“ They’re not demons.” He whispered back in a shaky voice, struggling to keep his breathing even. “Fighting demons is the only thing I know how to do.” He opened his eyes slowly, turning his head just barely enough to hold the elder’s gaze. The panic he was feeling must have shown in his eyes, but he didn’t care anymore. He was feeling overwhelmed. It felt like a lock had been opened on his heart, on his lips. It made him reach inside himself, pull on emotions and feelings he had always avoided touching. Now after his drunken outburst and his failure, with the confusion and anger that haunted him, with the dread of what lay ahead of him, he simply didn’t have the strength to hold the mask in front of his face anymore. “If demons were what was plaguing me, I would have fought them long ago. I’m not fighting demons, I’m fighting myself. I have no one but myself to blame for the state I’m in…”

Trevor felt like he was in a confessional, talking to the old man like this. He hadn’t been in one for years, but the feeling was unmistakably similar. Last time he had been to confession he was just a kid, admitting to petty sins like stealing pastries before dinner time or kissing the servant’s daughter in a closet. Good god, he would probably make the priest on the other side of the lattice retire on the spot if he was to try and confess his sins now. He had stolen more than pastries and kissed more than daughters…

The elder murmured back to him, making sure the conversation was theirs alone. “You’re being too hard on yourself. The world hasn’t given you much of a choice.”

“ We always have a choice and I made so many bad ones. I chose this, consciously or not, and now I find myself unable to get out of it. It’s all I know. Al-”

‘ Alucard was right, I am addicted’, that’s what he wanted to say, but his mouth refused to voice the thought, letting out a shaky sigh instead. “It’s a vicious circle. It’s easy to stay in it when you’re alone. It’s a lot less fun when people see you for what you truly are, see how much of a cowardly bastard you are. I am scared. I’ve kept myself numb to the world for so long and now because of your little fireball of a granddaughter, I find myself caring way too fucking much and I… don’t know how to handle it and it scares the fuck out of me.” A small nervous laugh escaped his lips at the confession. “I already made so many mistakes and I know they’ll just keep piling up. People have died because of it. I can’t-”

“ We all make mistakes. Those who never fail are those who never tried to do anything. Failure is a lesson, we must learn from it.”

“ How? How could I learn from a mistake that has cost lives?”

“ Do you think people will stop dying if you run away? Do you honestly think the world has more chance to survive without you than with you?”

“ Maybe not, but then… If I’m not there, it won’t be my fault.” The shame that washed over him as he spoke his mind was overpowering and he closed his eyes with a disgusted grunt, aimed at his own words.

“ And would that sit right with you? Would you really be fine with that? You had the occasion to move on but you helped me instead, a stranger. You risked your life saving Sypha, brought her back to me. When the city came for us you stood in their path. You could have walked away, at any moment, but you stayed and fought. You protected the city against church and demon alike. You have done so many great things and now, you’ll let fear conquer you? I think you’re putting too much weight on your shoulders while having too little faith in yourself. None of us are perfect, Trevor. We are only human. We cannot do more than simply try our best. It’s all that matters, that we tried and to know that we did all we could.”

The words felt like a bell ringing in Trevor’s heart. ‘It is not the dying that frightens us. It’s living without ever having done our best’. That’s what the elder had told him, back when he had promised to bring Sypha back. He clearly remembered answering with a soured ‘I don’t care’. But that wasn’t true at all, was it? ‘It’s not the dying that frightens us. It’s never having stood up and fought for you’. He said that himself, hadn’t he?

He rubbed his eyes roughly to hide any trace of moisture before opening them slowly. “You’re right, but last night, I did not do my best…”

“ Then try again. Running away will not help you deal with the guilt. It will not help you deal with any of your issues.”

“ Yeah, well, I have an assload of them. I don’t think now is a good time to deal with any of it, when the world is ending.”

“ On the contrary, isn’t it a good occasion to try and be the man you want to be, instead of the man you think you are. What the world has shaped you into, I do not think it is who you really are.”

“ And if I fail again? What if all of my darkest thoughts about myself are true?”

“ I can assure you they are not.” The elder replied with a light chuckle. “We are always the worst judge of our own worth. Even if you fail, all you have to do is stand back up and try again.”

“ I find that my legs are having a hard time supporting me nowadays...” Trevor whispered in response, head hanging low.

“ There is no shame in holding onto someone else for support when your legs are failing you. No one said you had to face this alone.”

Trevor pondered the old man’s words for a moment. It was such a foreign concept that maybe not everyone on this earth wanted him dead. He had spent so much time alone, fending for himself, distrustful of everything. It was so difficult for him to accept the fact that not everyone resented him for no other reason than being born with a certain name. Well, that and because he acted like an asshole most of the time, but how else was he supposed to be when the world was out to get him? He didn’t survive this long by being kind. He survived by being sneaky about who he really was, charismatic to the people he could get something out of and indifferent to the rest. He couldn’t deny that the apocalypse did bring a benevolence out of him he didn’t think he still had.

It was then he remembered Sypha’s big blue eyes in the tavern last night, asking him… no, pleading for him to stay alive. He didn’t think anyone had ever looked at him like that, with that much care. He certainly hadn’t done anything to warrant that much concern, well, except maybe saving her life. He tended to forget details like this. He supposed he shouldn’t. So yeah, guess there was at least one person on this wretched land that did care a little about him.

Alucard’s apology did resonate in his mind too. The words ‘You’re a good man, Belmont’, spoken with an honesty that seemed almost too good to be true, had such an effect on him it was embarrassing, to say the least, and he was much less comfortable thinking about the implications. Just because they had managed to have a mature discussion once didn’t mean they were suddenly friends. Not that Sypha and he were friends either but… well, it was a more conventional idea, with her being human and not a spawn of hell.

His pondering was interrupted when a group of young men walked up to him hesitantly, making him look back in confusion.

“ S-sir Belmont?” Trevor flinched at the title. The lad was almost blushing. Was he that intimidating? “I’m sorry. We don’t mean to interrupt. We just… wanted to make sure you were alright. We didn’t see you last night and this morning, you look in bad shape. Will you be alright?” He gestured toward his bloodied and torn tunic, showing the dirty bandages underneath that covered his wound.

It took a moment for him to realize there was a question somewhere in there he needed to reply to.

“ Uh, yeah… I’m alright.”

The boys looked too relieved for people he didn’t even know. “Ah, then, if it’s not too much trouble. We would really appreciate it if you could give us your opinion on how to proceed.”

“ How to proceed?”

The eldest of the men knelt to be at eye level with Trevor. “We’ve already scoured the city and brought back all the salt we could find. We assembled as many weapons as we could but we… we’re not sure what to do from there.”

Trevor blinked at the man. These boys, he recognized them. He met them when he came out of Alucard’s keep, along with a very annoying elderly woman with a big mouth. They had come to practically worship him back then and it had made Trevor so uncomfortable. He found himself surprised that they were still alive. It seemed like they had taken his advice to heart. Salt and steel; they went to recover both. He had to admit he was impressed. He had never met anyone who was ready and willing to listen to his expertise, even less act accordingly.

It did pinch his heart a little, in a way that could almost be described as agreeable. He noticed more citizens walking up to him, standing behind the initial group of men with a determination in their eyes he had rarely seen. Were they expecting him to lead them in battle? What the fuck did they think he was, a warlord? He was just a rogue wanderer, not some kind of military commandant. This was a plan for failure again wasn’t it? He’s going to lure them into a false sense of security, then the night horde will come and rip through them and Trevor will find himself crushed under even more culpability. He doubted his body would be able to withstand any more of that weight.

Or maybe not, maybe he could really prevent the death of these people. In the end, no matter what he did, it would not bring back those who had already died. The elder was right, even if he failed, the alternative was no less grim. Ignoring these people who were willing to stand up for themselves surely wasn’t the best he could do. Maybe it was time to actually believe in his blood. To believe in the teachings he received and the skills he honed over the years and bring justice to the dead or some bullshit like that. If he really was the last Belmont on earth, then perhaps now was a good time to act like it. Maybe people had more chance to survive with him than without him.

_ If _ he actually got his head out of his ass and tried to be what they expected of him. If he actually  _ tried _ to be better. If he actually did his best.

It was pathetic how the thought made him want to drink again, while the ale was not even completely out of his system yet. But that was just another problem on his long ass list of issues, wasn’t it?

One thing at a time.

Trevor grunted exasperatedly as he grabbed his knees with his hands to help him stand up, legs trembling slightly. Those idiots had been desperate to look at the mess he was and think ‘Yes,  _ this _ man will help us’. Oh well.

“ We need to get as many things done as possible during the day.” He pondered out loud as he straightened up. The smiles he received from the young men in front of him were much too enthusiastic for the situation they found themselves in, but Trevor found himself appreciating it greatly. It was difficult, through the mush his brain had been reduced to after the sick amount of ale he ingested last night, to kick his thinking back into gear but he managed. He raised his voice so that the other rallying citizens would hear him. “We need to take one small place and protect it. If you want to survive the next night, we can’t let the battle spread like last time.”

More people gathered around them and he noticed out of the corner of his eye the elder smiling warmly at him. Yeah, that old man was probably really happy with himself now. Well if he was diving headfirst into this commanding thing he might as well go all the way. This was good, he thought. It was something concrete to do and think about, instead of ruminating on all his flaws and mistakes and what-ifs and maybes, thinking again and again about how much he wanted to disappear. He would ride that wave while it lasted.

Trevor walked up to the rubble of a little house further away, carefully walking up the stones to stand higher, allowing his voice to carry to anyone that was willing to listen to it. “I want everyone who cares about staying alive to come here! Now! Anyone who considers themselves skilled in combat, I want you to stand to my left! And don’t fucking lie to yourself here, unless you have a death wish, in which case you shouldn’t be here at all!”

Looking at the crowd, Trevor met Sypha and Alucard’s gazes. The speaker was looking up at him with so much optimism in her giant blue eyes it was making his stomach flutter embarrassingly. Alucard smiled at him or rather smirked, but there was a glint of pride somewhere in there. They looked at him with hope…

Urg, great, more expectations to meet. He hated it, but it didn’t scare him as it should have, not when it came from them. Their very presence was inspiring, as much as he was loathed to admit it. Looking at them brought out the better part of him that still took pride in the clothes he wore even if they weren’t meant for him, who enjoyed the gratitude of those he saved, who reveled in the thrill of the hunt and combat that made his blood sing as if his ancestors themselves were crying out in his veins.

He could not be what they wanted him to be, not fully. He had never been that man, this protector of the innocent he was supposed to become.  _ A Belmont _ . He was just the leftovers of it but he was all they had. Maybe, just maybe, if he just tried his best, he could… be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost done with the Gresit part and almost into the road part. I'm eager. I hope I'll be able to get there.


	9. First step to recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this feels rushed, there are some time skip. It's just that I'm starting to realize this story is progressing much too slowly. If I don't make things advance more, we'll end up with our trio still in Gresit thinking about how much of a mess they are in chapter 20 and as much as that's fun to write about, there are other things I want to write too XD
> 
> This chapter has been proofread :O by the lovely [ Relagorikt! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relagorikt/profile)

Sypha blew hot breath into her hands to warm herself as she stood next to Trevor, whose face she could barely see among all the fur lining his cape. They watched the sky slowly losing its blue to turn into the oranges and reds that came with dusk. The change of hue that came with fear and dread, announcing to all that soon demons would inevitably come for them. It was an appropriate mix of colors, she mused, for a battle against creatures from hell. Citizens of Gresit stood near them, pikes ready, in formation, their agitation and apprehension about what was about to happen evident in the way they stood. It was contagious too. It took only one man with doubts, his hand trembling slightly, for it to spread to those around him. She couldn’t really blame them

“Don’t forget why we’re here.” Trevor’s voice pierced through the silence, carried by the cold wind that blew mercilessly around them and made his winter coat fly around wildly. He stood straight, arms crossed, talking to the populace without even looking at them. His eyes were fixed on the horizon. “This isn’t about saving your city. This godforsaken place can be torn to the ground for all I care. What matters is that you and your loved ones survive. Houses can be rebuilt, a human body cannot. Don’t do anything stupid and follow my lead.”

The people nodded in silence and Sypha marveled at how his words seemed to ease the minds of the men around her, no matter the blunt tone and how rudely expressed they were.

She had slept through most of the day and wasn’t there to witness it, but her people told her about how Trevor had taken it upon himself to train the populace all day. He had separated them into groups and made sure that those who could not fight would be kept safely away from the battle. He taught those who were already experienced in battle about the ins and out of fighting demons before ordering them to teach the others. He had spent hours with her grandfather and a few citizens to discuss a plan of battle and survival. Who would fight where, supply inventory, setting up guard duty and watch schedules, arming people with the right equipment; they discussed every little detail. From what her people told her, Trevor poured himself into the task. For the rest of the day, he walked around this new militia to adjust grips, correct stances and shout what could be called encouragement if you ignored the rude delivery and swearing that came with it.

She wasn’t sure what caused this change of attitude in the man, but she was eternally grateful. Because the Belmont that stood next to her now was nothing like the man she had met in the catacombs a few days back.

He looked like a veteran. Like a soldier who had seen too many battles already but still tied his sword to his waist to go to war again. With his bloodied tunic, wound still fresh under it and the fatigue evident on his already scarred features, yet still standing tall and proud, ready for more. She couldn’t help but feel inspired by the sight. She couldn’t help but wonder about what kind of man Trevor would have turned out to be had the church not taken everything from him.

She felt that maybe she was seeing a small glimpse of it now. Of who Trevor really could be, deep down, hidden under years and years of pain and bad coping mechanisms. He was still rude and crass. He was still the same lonely soul, intimidating in the way he carried himself with such nonchalance when you knew how dangerous he could be. Even the way he spoke to the people still carried the irritation of a man who clearly didn’t want to be here but people still trusted him. They still stood here now, armed and ready despite their fears, to stand against the night hordes and defend their loved ones. Because a Belmont had come and shown them it was possible to fight back. Because despite this obvious aura of magic emanating from his blood that Sypha could feel to the deepest of her bone whenever he was close, to the common peasant, Trevor was just a simple man. A crude, disgraced man, but just a man nonetheless once the lies of the church about his family were dissipated. Just as dirty and grim as the rest of them. There was power in that, hope. A hope these people didn’t dare to have before now.

She only realized that she’d been staring at him for far too long to be considered polite when he cleared his throat, briefly glancing at her.

“W-Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sypha looked away quickly and laughed in a way she hoped didn’t sound too nervous. “I’m sorry. I was just lost in thoughts.”

“Nervous about the battle?”

“No. I trust you.”

“A terrible decision really,” Trevor replied in a whisper, looking around to make sure no one would hear him. He distanced himself from the groups of citizens a little, motioning her to follow. “I don’t get it Sypha. These people just latched on to me like flies on a pile of shit and I can’t wrap my head around it. I mean look at me!” He raised his hand toward his face to emphasis his words. “I’m hungover, tired, wounded, I stink. I look and feel like a hobo, which I technically am, by the way, and what do these people do? They look at the mess I am and think I’m the perfect man to save them. You don’t get more stupid than that.”

His complaining only made her laugh. As clever as he could be about some things, for others, he was a complete idiot. “Yes, to look up to the only surviving son of the famous Belmont family, demon hunters from generation to generation, and think that _he_ might maybe be able to protect people from the night hordes, the thing he was bred to kill, is incredibly irrational and stupid. You’re right.”

“Y-Yeah well, when you put it that way... but- that’s not--” He grunted. “All I’m saying is that their actual savior, from legend, was literally here protecting them last night when I wasn’t. I don’t understand why they’re looking at me for guidance. It doesn’t make sense.” Trevor complained as he threw his hand toward an imaginary Alucard standing before him. Their vampire companion was scouting the area on his own to warn them of the demon’s approach.

“Alucard is-” Sypha pondered on her own words before speaking her mind. “Well, people are uncomfortable with him. The powers he displayed during the fight scared many, just like I scare them too.” There was a strange glint of bitterness to her words she noticed too late. “I don’t think they know what he really is, but it’s like they can tell that he’s not… entirely human.”

It was probably why he decided to go ahead in advance to fight alone so that people wouldn’t see him use his power too much and be even more scared of him. She understood this all too well. No matter how she cared for the wounded, the magic she had displayed herself made the citizens look at her with fear and worry, made their body tense and flinch at every contact. No matter what she did, she would always be ‘the witch’. She had made a semblance of peace with this long ago and that’s why she didn’t care anymore about showing off her magic when it mattered. It was part of her, just as much as the color of her hair or the sound of her voice. She refused to smother it and hide it just to fit in with the church dictated norm. If she had to be an outcast for it then so be it. That’s probably not how Alucard was seeing things, however. He was a creature of the night, after all. At least partially.

“No shit,” Trevor replied with a sarcastic chuckle. “With those pretty eyes of his, who could ever mistake him for a human.”

“Yes, I guess his eyes _are_ very pretty.” Sypha agreed with a teasing smile. The vampire’s golden eyes were nothing short of breathtakingly beautiful and fascinating. To the common ignorant people, however, it was probably very frightening and it betrayed his occult nature.

“That… was not the point I was making here and you know it,” Trevor mumbled. “He’s a vampire, Sypha, all vampires are handsome pieces of shit. Of fucking course the literal prince of darkness is no exception.”

“You think I’m handsome, Belmont?”

Sypha jumped out of her skin at the voice behind them, but not as much as Trevor.

“Jesus fucking christ!” He quickly turned to stare at Alucard behind them who was smiling smugly at Trevor. “God forbid you make some noise when you fucking walk! I swear I’ll just stake you out of reflexes one of these days!”

“You were simply too busy thinking about my gorgeous eyes to notice me approach you.”

“I was busy imagining ripping them out to make a _gorgeous_ necklace, you asshole!”

Sypha looked away from the two children with a sigh. Although deep down, she preferred seeing them throwing insults at each other like this verbally than actually fight. The tavern incident was still fresh in her mind and she hoped they could avoid anything similar in the future. She had to admit their attitude had changed though. The bickering didn’t hold the same animosity it used to. Alucard’s smile even showed that he was enjoying the little game of insulting wits. Maybe this was just the only way they were comfortable interacting with each other. She would take this over hunter-vampire hostility anytime, that’s for sure. No matter how irritating it could get.

Neither she nor Alucard brought up Trevor’s drunken outburst to him, now that she thought about it. They didn’t really have the time, but even if they did, she had a feeling it would be too much of a difficult subject to touch for the hunter. He had already worked on himself enough as it was in such a short amount of time.

“As much as I would love to see you try Belmont, I fear now is not the time for a rematch,” Alucard said as he pointed to the horizon. “They’re coming, from the west. They seem to be less numerous than last night.”

“Here we go then.” Trevor replied with a deep sigh, turning toward the populace who was getting restless. He raised his voice, telling the citizens to get ready while Alucard turned to Sypha.

“I’ll go and try to kill as many as I can before they reach you.”

“Be careful.” Sypha said as she smiled at him. He returned it with a nod.

“Don’t get overwhelmed.” Trevor grunted, which was probably his way of saying the same thing.

“Are you scared I’ll get hurt?” Alucard chuckled with that cocky smile that probably made Trevor want to punch him. He didn’t though, it simply made a similar smile form on his own lips.

“I would love for you to get hurt. Maybe it’d make your big arrogant head deflate a little. But apparently, I need you for this whole plan to work, so don’t die.”

“Your worry flatters me.”

“Just- urg, just shut up and go, you goddamn bat boy.”

Alucard simply nodded again with a quiet ‘good luck’ before leaving them. Sypha noticed, shortly after, a white bat flying above them in the demons’ direction. She couldn’t help but smile at it. Seemed like a wolf wasn’t the only thing he could turn into.

“Seriously?” Trevor asked, staring at the flying animal with incredulity. “He can seriously turn into a bat? I swear to God, he’s a living vampire stereotype and he’s only half of one. He’s doing this on purpose to annoy me.”

“Probably.” Sypha confirmed with a smile.

Trevor took a deep breath before addressing the people again. He reassured them one last time, telling them to stay alert, focus on the task and follow his lead, reminding them of their battle strategy. Sypha caught herself staring at him again, lingering on blue eyes that seemed so much more alive in this moment than ever before. If Alucard’s eyes were beautiful in a supernatural kind of way, Trevor’s were charming in a much simpler manner. The contrast between his rough features and the softness of his icy eyes was mesmerizing. The determination they held now only made him more appealing.

Not that she found him _appealing_ , of course. He was a good looking man under all the layers of dirt, sure. And proving himself to be braver and better than she initially thought. It didn’t mean she found him appealing. She was, however, realizing that there was more to him than met the eye and she couldn’t repress this small feeling of admiration swelling in her chest when she looked at him. Admiration and gratitude. And pride. A lot of pride. Despite everything Trevor went through, which she couldn’t even begin to imagine, he was still here with her now. He could have walked away, at any moment. Could have gone off to drink away his sorrow, which he kind of did. But he came back. He came back better than he was. She was so grateful for his presence beside her now, so proud of the choices he had made today.

“You’re doing it again.”

She tensed at the sound of his voice, bringing her out of the thoughts. “W-what?”

“You’re looking at me like _that_ again.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know… like _that_ ” He gestured vaguely at her face as if it would somehow make this clearer. She chuckled lightly and smiled, more to herself than anything

“I was just thinking about how grateful I am that you decided to stay, to help these people and come with us on this journey. You could have turned your back on all this. You didn’t and I’m glad you’re standing next to me right now.”

“I just taught a bunch of peasants how to hold a pike. Nothing extraordinary there.”

“No, it’s more than that Trevor. You’re giving them hope and you’re shaping this hope into reality. They needed it.”

“Yeah well, hope is a very dangerous thing. Not sure how that will turn out, in the end, to be perfectly honest with you.”

“It doesn’t matter. No matter the outcome tonight, you should be proud of your actions today. I know I am, very much so.” She said softly, looking up at him with an affection she didn’t think she could feel for someone she had met barely a few days ago. She extended her hand to gently touch his arm, trying to show just how much she meant her words, but she stopped midway. Her fingers curled into a fist and she brought her hand back to her side, remembering how uncomfortable the man was with physical contact. He was always tensing and flinching and moving away from her touches. She should try to respect his personal space, no matter how badly she wanted to touch him, reassure him, and offer some semblance of comfort. She doubted he would accept it and so she simply smiled. “Thank you. For being here. I am so, so proud of you.”

He held her gaze with a strange expression she wasn’t quite able to read, but the blush that spread to his face wasn’t due to the cold around them, that much she was certain. Now _that_ was a very appealing sight…

He looked away after a few seconds, choking awkwardly on a breath. He shifted uncomfortably as he avoided her gaze and mumbled in a stutter. “Um… t-thanks? I mean… you’re welcome? I-I guess.” She wouldn’t have associated Trevor with the word ‘adorable’ before, but life was full of surprises. He laughed shyly as he scratched the stubble on his jaw and shrugged. “W-where else would I be anyway?” He grunted. “Actually, you know what? Don’t answer that.”

She laughed and enjoyed the way it made him laugh as well, softly and deep. Oh, she could get used to the sound of that.

When the first demon appeared she quickly pushed those thoughts away.

* * *

The first night came and went almost smoothly. There were many injured, but no casualties. Their setup of Alucard thinning the demon’s rank before they could get to them in a guerrilla-style attack and Sypha trapping them in a narrow corridor of ice once they reached their rallying point proved to be very successful. The people efficiently cut down the demons while Trevor took care of the bigger ones. Each night became more efficient and, to his surprise, less populated in monsters. Maybe they were starting to think Gresit wasn’t worth all that trouble.

On the fourth night, the citizens of Gresit stood straight and ready, even without Trevor behind them. A few more experienced men took it upon themselves to lead their people, having learned how to handle the battle against the night horde under Trevor’s guidance. He had to admit he was kind of proud of them and satisfied with the fact that they could leave them on their own now with relative peace of mind. They could start thinking about how to proceed with their actual goal. It wasn’t going to be as easy as this…

Trevor had avoided thinking too much about that. That and… well, everything else. He had a task that he devoted himself entirely to and admittedly, the results were there. The citizens were so grateful to him, he had never been thanked so much in his entire life. It was a nice change, even if it felt weird. He tried not to get used to it, however, fully aware that he would not receive this same treatment anywhere else.

But as the days passed, it became impossible to ignore some issues. Namely, this overwhelming need to walk back to the local tavern just for one drink. Just one.

With every night occupied with fighting and days filled with helping people organize themselves and trying in vain to sleep, he managed not to give in to temptation. He hadn’t really slept in days actually, as much as he tried. After less than an hour, he would wake up in a sweat, more often than not shaken by all too familiar nightmares. He was used to not sleeping a lot but this was just beyond what even he could take. He didn’t even feel rested after what little sleep he managed to catch. It just made him feel clumsy, irritable and unable to concentrate on anything. Every time he woke up his hands would shake, he would be sweating way too much for the coldness around him and if he was lucky he would only feel like vomiting and not actually empty the contents of his stomach next to him. Eating was a difficult ordeal as well…

He loathed to admit it and it infuriated him beyond words, but Alucard had been right about his condition. He felt kind of stupid now that he thought about it because this wasn’t the first time he felt like this. All those symptoms that plagued him now had made his life a nightmare more than once during his time on the road. He had simply never associated those with a lack of liquor. Now, after what Alucard told him, it seemed pretty fucking obvious.

The pain was worse when he woke up from his less than restful sleep, but every day it seemed to get to him a bit more and a bit longer. Coupled with the lack of sleep, it had almost cost him his life last night, making him unable to concentrate on the battle in front of him. He was pretty sure Sypha noticed, considering she suggested he took some time to rest tonight. He had been reluctant, but the urge to vomit that rose in his throat barely a few minutes later convinced him that maybe it was for the best.

He still stayed outside though. It’s not like he would be able to sleep anyway. He sat on the roof of a building, ready, just in case they might need him. It was more of an excuse than anything, something he told himself he had to do so that he wouldn’t give in to the temptation of walking to the tavern…

The thought made him feel so much disgust and shame, but it didn’t stop it from being ever-present in his mind. He thought of last time and asked himself if he would be able to go have a little calming drink without ending up passed out in a ditch. He wasn’t very pleased with the natural answer that came to him.

He imagined Sypha’s face if he gave in, and boy that was not something he wanted to think about. Just the thought of her praises still made heat rise in his chest embarrassingly. It was ridiculous and almost humiliating how her words got to him so easily. How starved he was for someone else’s approval. Praise was something he never received openly in his childhood, his father being extremely difficult to please and Trevor was too busy trying to meet his expectation to care about any praise his mother might have had. Then everything went to shit and there truly was no one left to give him any kind of approval. Not that he ever did anything deserving of it anyway.

Now it was all he could think about. That if he continued to cope the way he always did, he would disappoint her so much. God, she was infuriatingly crawling under his skin without even fucking trying. How long had he known her? Four days? Five? He already cared more about her than he had cared for himself most of his life. He should have hated her, for making him do this, for making him care so much but she was impossible to hate. She was so bright it hurt his eyes, he who was so used to staring into the darkness. Against all his logic and instinct, she made him want more of that brightness. She made him think that maybe it would be nice to stop staring into the void for once…

He heard light footsteps behind him before a now familiar voice called for him. “Belmont.”

“Finally learned how not to walk silently, vampire?” He teased as he looked up at the man who stopped beside him.

“I was afraid you might fall to your death if I was to startle you.”

Trevor simply scoffed at the reply, but when Alucard’s eyes settled on his shaking hand he sighed deeply, tightening his cloak around him. “What do you want?”

“It’s almost morning. No demons came tonight, as you can see.” He replied, looking away from Trevor to stare at the city.

Trevor blinked at the horizon. How fucking confused in his own head was he that he didn’t even notice the night passing… without demons?

“Well, this is a surprise. Why? Did your dad finally run out of hell hounds?”

“I highly doubt that, but it’s a good sign. I’m starting to believe that my father’s plan for this war is much less organized than I initially thought. The people should stay alert, but I think they might be left alone for some time. Wallachia is big, the demons are probably seeking less difficult targets. Not good for other cities, but good for this one, for now.”

“I guess that means we should think of our next move then and finally leave this shit hole.”

“Yes. You’ve trained them well. If any city has any chance of survival, it’s this one.” Alucard’s gaze slowly drifted down to Trevor. “Are you alright?”

Trevor narrowed his eyes at him, trying to suppress the tremors that seemed to spread to his whole body now. “I’m fine.”

“Are you really?”

“Yes. I am.”

“You look like shit.”

Trevor grunted. He hated the way he talked with such an impassable expression sometimes, in contrast to what he was actually saying. More often than not he looked more akin to a marble statue than a living being. He supposed he wasn’t really living anyway, being undead and all that. Or was he? His knowledge about the half breed wasn’t very extensive. It was nonexistent, actually. It was confusing how so much about him screamed creature of the night, like his godforsaken honeyed eyes, but then he would really look at them and see emotions buried in there that showed he was more human than Trevor so adamantly wanted to believe.

“Not all of us are as comfortable as you princess of the night with this lack of sleep.” He replied in an annoyed groan, realizing too late what he was admitting.

“You’re having trouble sleeping?”

“N-no I…. just- urg, nevermind. Forget I said anything.”

“When was the last time you slept, Belmont?”

Trevor sighed loudly. Of course, he wasn’t going to drop the subject. “Depends on what you mean by _sleep._ Why do you even care?”

Of course, he cared. Alucard needed him for this little prophecy of his. He was of no use to him if he passed out of exhaustion. That, or he was just waiting for him to really slumber to get a taste of his blood.

He was paranoid, so what? Kept him alive so far.

Except Alucard _didn’t drink human blood_ , or so he claimed. Trevor didn’t want to believe him, but the vampire had given him no reason to distrust him so far. He didn’t see him try to take a bite out of anyone either and he did inspect people’s necks from time to time. Again, he was paranoid, but he didn’t see anything strange. He didn’t see him even try anything remotely _vampirey_ either, on the contrary, he avoided people more often than not. Maybe it was true. Deep down Trevor wanted to believe it. It would make it much easier to trust him if he believed it, however, old family propaganda was hard to dismiss.

Then again, his family bestiary didn’t cover half-vampires either. So maybe it was true. It could be. He had given him absolutely no reason not to believe him. Maybe it would be fair to give him the benefit of the doubt, after everything he had done for them during all those battles.

“I’m simply concerned…” Alucard said hesitantly before changing his mind. “You’re right. It’s none of my business.”

Trevor didn’t need him to voice his thoughts, he knew perfectly well what he meant to say. Alucard knew things nobody else knew. Some kind of scary secret science knowledge or something like that. If anyone knew of a way to help him deal with all his bullshit, it was him. Fuck was he really going to ask for help from a vampire? He hated that he was even considering it, but the words left his mouth much more easily than he would have thought.

“Actually…” His voice came out much more quiet than he intended. It caught Alucard’s attention alright though. “We need to talk.”

He raised an eyebrow at Trevor. “I’m listening.”

God, he hated this.

“What you told me when we fought in the tavern, you said my body was making me feel like shit because it craved booze.”

The subject seemed to take him by surprise by the way his eyes widened for a second before he replied. “I’m... amazed you remember that conversation, considering the state you were in.”

“It’s fuzzy, but I remember enough.” He groaned as he managed to push himself to his feet to face the blond. He still felt so ashamed of how he had acted back then. Of the things he had said. Of the consequences of it all. He knew now the difference he had made for the people of Gresit. He knew, had he not acted like that on that night, he would have been able to save a lot of people. The thought was eating him alive with guilt and he didn’t want it to happen again. Never again. “You were right. When you said I must have felt like this before. I did. A lot, actually. I just never made the connection… it’s so obvious now that you pointed it out.”

“Alcohol addiction is not something people really know about. My mother used to treat village drunkards. I remember that most of them didn’t believe they had a problem at all until the physical symptoms appeared and became too much.”

“Treat them?” Trevor looked up quickly. “You mean it’s not permanent?”

Alucard smiled at him, in that gentle way that Trevor used to hate because it made him look much too human. He was getting used to it now, despite his best efforts not to. “Of course not. If you stop drinking, your symptoms will get worse. It might take a few days or maybe weeks, but they will subdue. It will still be an ongoing battle, however. The real problem here is not the drinking itself, it’s the adjacent problem that led to it. Are you truly ready to deal with the later? Now? When there is so much at stake?”

Of course he wasn’t. He drank because being sober made him contemplate the sorry state of his life. He drank to forget every mistake and bad decision he’d ever made. To forget the faces of people he missed, to forget how much he wanted to disappear from the world. He drank to deal with the stress, the trauma, the burden of his survival. He drank because he was addicted to this numbness that washed over him every time, addicted to the peaceful sleep it procured him. He drank because it made him feel better, as simple as that. It was so deeply rooted into him, he couldn’t really remember a time before it.

But like hell he was going to fight Dracula with shaking hands and vomit on his tunic. He wasn’t going to let people die again because he was too much of a coward to face this issue.

“I don’t want something like this to happen again, Alucard.” He started, avoiding the vampire’s gaze. Searching in him for the right words to express just how he felt. That was never an easy thing. He was as skilled with words as a priest with a woman, which was to say he theoretically knew how but lacked the practice to actually be any good at it. “I should have been there that night. I chose to fight alongside you and Sypha against your father, and that means being here to defend this city too. But I wasn’t and people-” The innkeeper’s face flashed in his mind and he again felt so ashamed that he didn’t even know the man’s name. “People have died because of it. My life is a mess. It’s been for almost half of it. But now, you’ve given me a greater purpose. The occasion to actually do my family’s work. And as much as I hate to say it, I do feel grateful for it. The last few days have given me a sense of accomplishment I have literally never felt before. But I… I can feel it slip away just as easily because every goddamn day the first thing I think about is that I need a fucking drink. I managed not to fall back into my habit simply because I always have something to do and…”

‘And the idea of disappointing Sypha, if I did, is making me almost just as sick as the lack of ale.’ He didn’t voice that thought though.

“I can’t be what people expect of me, but I sure as hell am trying. I just… I just don’t know how to proceed with this shit. And I’m so fucking tired all I want is to drink if only to knock myself out and rest. This is bullshit. I-I can’t keep going like this I’m gonna get myself killed or worse, someone else. I-”

All of this was bullshit. That he was talking about said bullshit with a vampire was the cherry on top. He was feeling this strange sense of panic in his chest, doubts and confusion about how to deal with the state of sobriety taking over his mind in the most illogical way, but he was unable to stop it. He could feel his heart beating faster, his breathing quickening for no fucking reason…

“Belmont.” Alucard interrupted his monologue and Trevor was suddenly aware of how close to each other they stood. “Look at me.”

Trevor obeyed and looked up, trying to control his lungs and not hyperventilate. Alucard’s eerie eyes were fixed on his as he spoke.

“It’s going to be fine. You’ve already done more than we should have expected of you.” He spoke softly in such a low, heavy voice that Trevor didn’t think he had ever heard him sound like this before. It was oddly reassuring. “You’ve put a heavy burden on your shoulder for a man who has suffered so much. For the sake of the people that tormented you no less. You think so little of yourself, while you are so much stronger than you think you are.”

There was praise somewhere in there, it was all Trevor could get from the words. He was too busy staring into Alucard’s eyes to really try to understand what he was saying. Even now he was still talking, but it sounded so distant. He wasn’t able to discern the words, only the feeling of them. It felt warm and comforting. His heart calmed down slowly, allowing him to breathe somewhat more normally after a moment. He suddenly didn’t remember where he was, the world around him seemingly fading into a blurry image he didn’t care to clear out. The only thing his eyes were able to focus on were Alucard’s own. Good lord in heaven his eyes were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen…

He was unable to look away and it should have scared him. A part of him hidden somewhere in the fog of his mind was waving a red flag around. He tried to understand why, but again, Alucard’s deep voice seemed to reassure him that everything was fine. That this was good and that he shouldn’t be fighting it, whatever it was. He felt cold fingers on his face, gently pushing his hair away and lingering on the nape of his neck. It made goosebumps rise all over his skin. The sweet whisper told him how well he was doing, that he deserved to rest. His body was so heavy, his muscles relaxing as if melting, as if the blood in his veins thickened and stopped circulating. A complete state of lethargy wrapped around him, freezing his mind and body in the most pleasant numbness he had ever felt.

He felt his body being pulled against another, hot breath on his ear making him shudder and forcing a whimper out of his throat. The voice whispered one simple command to him. “Sleep.”

It was the last thing he heard before his eyes rolled and closed. He lost control of every single one of his muscle as his knees buckled, head falling backward and his whole body going limp in someone’s arm.

* * *

Alucard stood awkwardly on the roof, holding a profoundly asleep Trevor against him...

He could have asked, couldn’t he? He could have asked the man “Do you want help to sleep?” He should have, actually.

But then he would have had to say something like “It involves my vampire powers”. The hunter would have undoubtedly told him to fuck off and proceed to endure the pain and lack of sleep for god knows how long like the stubborn pig head that he was.

And that was none of his business and not his problem and he should have just left the man alone.

But no, in his infinite wisdom, what did Alucard do? He fucking glamoured Trevor into the deepest sleep the man had probably ever experienced.

Without his consent.

Fuck, why did he do this?

The man panicked and it'd made him panic too. He just wanted to help. Really, it was all there was to it. That would _not_ be good enough of an excuse tomorrow morning when Trevor would wake up and remember this, however.

He took a moment to appreciate the peaceful look on his face in that moment, gently resting against his chest, warm and rough cheeked against his own all too cold skin. He found himself trying to burn this image into his brain because tomorrow a deep scowl would probably replace his serene expression while he tried to punch Alucard’s teeth out.

Bloody hell, he sucked at dealing with people…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I skipped all the battle bit because I know it'd be super boring to read considering I suck at writing actions scenes. so I thought it wasn't very important anyway. We all know how it goes. 
> 
> I'll try to make this progress more quickly. There is a limit to how slow a slow burn can be. It doesn't help that my chapters are getting longer and longer every time -_- I write too much, didn't think that would end up being a problem, but here we are! Oh well.


	10. Off to a better start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big chapter, last one in Gresit! A big thanks to everyone commenting. You're the whole reason why I keep going so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

When Trevor woke up the next day, after an outstanding adequate amount of sleep, Alucard was ready for an argument. Maybe even a fight. To get thrown out a window or punched or even a taste of the whip, depending on how furious the man was.

What he got instead was a shaking Trevor laying on his side on the bed he had left him on last night, bent over, hugging himself and cursing at how every one of his muscle ached from trembling so much. He was sweating profusely despite the cold shivers wracking his body with his tunic literally wet under his armpit and his back. He obviously had a fever and he had been in the process of vomiting when he and Sypha entered the room to check on him.

When Trevor saw him, the flash of anger behind his icy eyes told Alucard that he clearly remembered what happened the last time they saw each other. When those eyes settled on Sypha next to him however, his expression softened. He didn’t say anything on the matter at all and Alucard wasn’t going to bring it up himself, that’s for sure. Both men ignored the elephant in the room as Sypha sat on the bed next to Trevor with worry all over her face, hopefully oblivious to the tension.

“Alucard, what’s happening to him?”

“Y-yeah, you bloodsu-sucking bastard…” The tremors in his body was so bad it was making it difficult for him to even breathe properly, let alone speak without stuttering. “What the f-fuck is this?”

“Seems like your lack of liquor is hitting you with full force.” Alucard replied matter of factly. “Now that your body has been allowed to rest it’s catching up to you. I’m afraid I might have inadvertently caused this when I helped you sle-.”

Trevor’s eyes went wide and he interrupted him promptly. “S-Sypha! C-could you-- um… C-could you fetch m-me some water… p-please?”

“Oh, of course!” She quickly stood up from the bed. “I’ll be right back!”

Alucard watched her leave with a raised brow before looking back at Trevor in confusion. Those piercing blue eyes of his were fixed on him and God did he looked outraged. He was far from threatening, holding himself in pain and shaking like a leaf, but if looks could kill Alucard would have been dead three times over. Trevor kept his voice low as he spoke.

“You piece of sh-shit, I don’t-- I don’t need her to kn-now what happened! It’s already hum-humiliating enough as it is...”

Oh. Is that what it was? Is that why he hadn’t lashed out at him when he got here? Because Sypha was here too? Well, he supposed the ordeal did hurt the man’s pride a little, being a ‘ _Belmont_ ’ and falling to a vampire trick like this. To his defense, it took amazing willpower to resist such compulsion. Maybe in another time, under other circumstances, Trevor would have had the presence of mind to fight back, but not in the state he was in. He had been incredibly vulnerable, which only served to highlight how wrong it had been to use his power on him in that moment.

He cleared his throat, swallowing back his remorse as he avoided the man’s gaze. “Yes, I understand. About that-”

“What the f-fuck did you do to m-me?” Trevor whispered between two deep breath. He shook so much his teeth rattled.

“Your condition is not my doing, Belmont.” Alucard quickly replied before choosing his words carefully. “But, as I said, I might have caused this flaring of symptoms by… allowing you to sleep, since God knows when.”

“A-allowing me to sleep?” Trevor repeated with a dark chuckle. “Say it like it is... you f-fucking enthralled me!”

Alucard hated the word ‘enthrall’ but correcting Trevor on vampire nomenclature now would probably not help his case. “Yes. I did. And I’m sorry-”

“S-Sorry my ass!” He yelled before a particularly deep shiver ran up his spine, making him lose his concentration and his connection to the world for a moment until it passed. He was breathing heavily and the sound of his heart beating so fast and so loud filled Alucard’s ear like an hypnotic tune. After a moment he collected his thoughts and whispered in a low raspy voice. “Hope it tasted g-good at least.”

He narrowed his eyes at the man in confusion again. “What?”

“Don’t take me... for m-more of an idiot than I am!” Trevor spat as his hand clutched the covers under him, which were also drenched with sweat. “Why else would you have done t-that... vampire voodoo bullshit on m-me? Gotta say... you’re pretty clever. I checked myself all over and I co-- couldn’t find any marks. You bit me some-- somewhere I can’t see? You bit me on my ass, i-is that your thing?”

It took a moment for Alucard to realize what he was talking about. When he finally grasped the implication of Trevor’s words, it hit him in the stomach like a brick.

Trevor woke up and his first thought was that he had glamoured him to drink his blood…

Really? How paranoid was this man?

“You didn’t find any marks because I did _not_ bite you. You have every right to be angry at me, but not for this. Why would you even think th-”

“Because you’re a b-bloody-- vampire and that’s just what you f-fucking do!” Trevor retorted as he tried to keep his voice down against the outrage in him that demanded he scream instead. “I’m n-not stupid I did my homework as a k-kid! You think I d-don’t know how your kind works? That glamouring sh-shit is just a spiderweb for you… it’s how you lure your prey to your fuck-- fucking fangs! Keeps us docile and-- and quiet like a maiden under you while you go about y-your business of sucking us dry... and n-not in the enjoyable, s-sexy kind of way!”

Alucard couldn’t help but laugh at the accusation. “I’m not some stereotyped vampire seducer preying on innocent virgins under the moonlight. Do you even realize how ridiculous you sound? If I had ‘sucked you dry’, which by the way I’ll never forgive you for making me say that sentence out loud about you, you would have never woken up from my compulsion because you’d be dead. Are you dead right now Belmont?”

“W-well… no, but-- but that doesn’t mean you didn’t take a f-fucking bite. That’s the whole p-point of that-- that power of yours, isn’t it? That’s how you vampires w-work.”

“I-” He couldn’t exactly deny that now could he? Not to him, not to a vampire hunter. He exhaled loudly, admitting his defeat on the matter. “Alright, yes, it is, but that’s not why I used it on you. You were practically having a panic attack in front of me. You hadn’t slept in days. I just wanted to help you, I assure you I had no intention to drink your blood. Why would I even try that, on you of all people? I… I told you before, I don’t drink from humans. You’re not making any sense.”

“It makes sense to-- to assume you’re a good l-little leech like the rest of your kind and so d-did what-- what any other g-good little leech would have done!”

“My kind?” The words insulted him more than he thought it would. “Should I assume you’re a madman who enjoys watching innocent people burn? At the stake? In their own home? Because from my experience, that’s what _your_ kind does.”

The other man’s lips moved to reply, but nothing came out but a choked breath. The silence that followed was uncomfortable to say the least, but after a moment Trevor sighed shakily, looking away with an hint of shame. It did little to calm the boiling indignation in Alucard’s chest. It was one thing for him to be furious about the glamouring, he could take responsibility for that. To be accused of things he didn’t do and never had any intention of doing because that’s what Trevor expected of him simply on account of him being half vampire, that angered him more than it should have.

“I… I’m sorry.” Trevor murmured, staring into empty space. “You’re right, I-I’m not making sense. I just-- old family p-propaganda is hard to forg-get.”

“This whole ‘human good, monster bad’ dogma is worth nothing and you should know that better than anyone else.” Alucard replied in a tired sigh. “How hard is it really to believe a creature like me wants you no harm when so many humans have hurt you in the past?”

“I f-fucking know that. I’m sorry, alright? I have trust issues... p-put it on the goddamn l-list with the rest!”

“It’s-- It’s fine. I shouldn’t have used this on you in the first place. I just wanted to help, that’s all. It didn’t cross my mind that you would… come to this conclusion.” Alucard admitted. He had told him, explicitly, that he didn’t drink human blood _precisely_ so it would make it easier for Trevor to trust him. Obviously he had underestimated his paranoia.

“Look… I’ll admit I might look and feel like-- like shit right now, but I… I-I haven’t slept that well since I was a ch-child. So... th-thanks, I guess. But I swear to-- to every god humans have ever wor-- worshipped that if you... e-ever do that shit to m-me again I’ll sta-”

“Stake my heart through my ass. Yes. I know.” Alucard said with an amused smile. “I’ll never do this again, I promise. Unless, of course, you ask for it.”

“Y-yeah right! I’ll never willingly ask you b-bastard to-- to poke around in m-my mind with your creepy... vampire psychic p-powers. I’m starting to trust you here, don’t make it we-weird.”

The words were said with a smile and it was enough for Alucard to accept them as an offering of peace. Just Trevor’s way of saying that his little transgression was forgiven. It was fascinating how the petty insults and sarcasm he had resorted to had worked wonders on the man for whom politeness, etiquette and niceties meant nothing. That their banter had even bred a certain familiarity between them he himself didn’t expect to enjoy so much. The fact that this whole situation was resolved so peacefully just made him see how things had change, without him really realizing it... 

Alucard became much too aware of his own smile stupidly plastered to his lips and he made an effort to regain a neutral expression as he reached into the inner pocket of his coat, remembering why he came here in the first place. He pulled out a vial and gently dropped it on the nightstand beside Trevor’s bed.

“W-What’s that?”

“Medicine. I made it today. I knew your symptoms would get worse, after what you told me last night. This should help keep your fever down and calm your nerve. Maybe even help you sleep if we’re lucky. Should help your liver recover from your abuse too.”

“It’s not like… virgin b-blood or monster bile, i-is it?”

“No, Belmont. It’s plants.”

“Y-yeah? What kind of p-plants?”

“Trevor, stop being such a baby!” Sypha called him out from the door. She walked in and came to sat beside Trevor on the bed, putting down a mug of water on the nightstand and taking the vial of medicine in her hand instead. “Don’t worry, I helped him make it and no there’s nothing weird in it. We raided the herbalist shop and most of their stock was still intact. Nobody to claim any of it so we took advantage of it.”

“Y-You stole from t-the dead?”

“I’m not going to let perfectly good herbs rot on an abandoned shelf, Trevor! Don’t give me that look, you would have done the same.” She replied quickly. Trevor shrugged as acknowledgement before she continued. “Alucard taught me a bunch of stuff! Did you know that raspberry leaf can ease pain during labor? Even soothe menstrual cramp!”

“I… did not know that, n-no.” He raised a brow at Alucard, as if silently asking ‘why do _you_ know that’. Alucard simply shrugged at the unspoken question. “That’s um... g-great, I guess.”

“Come on, sit up and drink. It will make you feel better.” She enthusiastically helped him up, making his back rest on the wall behind the bed with difficulty.

The way her small hand wrapped around Trevor’s when he spilled a quarter of the medicine because of his shaking hand was very tender and gentle. Endearing even. He always marveled at how those hands were instruments of destruction one moment and such delicate caregiver the next. She helped him drink the rest slowly, smiling devilishly at the frown on his face once the infusion touched his tongue before complaining it tasted like boiled leather.

“I’ll let you rest.” Alucard said to Trevor before turning to leave. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned back to the hunter. “I’ll go back to the herbalist shop. I’m fairly certain you’ll want more of the medicine if it’s effective. To be perfectly honest with you Belmont, you’ll probably want to die in the next twenty four hour. This is the worst stage. So, good luck I suppose.”

Trevor laughed at his words. “Y-yeah, I kind of noticed how-- how sh-shitty it was. Great to kn-know the pleasure’s g-gonna last.”

“You’re a stubborn child. I’m sure you’ll pull through.” He replied with a teasing grin that made Trevor scoff and Sypha nod in agreement. He opened the door and turned to leave.

“Alucard.” Trevor called before he could pass the threshold. He glance behind his shoulder to meet the hunter’s gaze, who gestured toward the vial with a small nod. “Thanks.”

Alucard simply nodded back in acknowledgement, not trusting himself to reply without stuttering at the way Trevor looked at him. With gratitude and trust. And _smiling._ Not in a cocky or mocking way. Just a genuine smile.

It was embarrassingly satisfying.

* * *

Sypha helped Trevor drink water before putting it back on the nightstand along with the empty vial. She smiled at the man, taking in his appearance and doing her best not to let her worry show too much. Alucard told her this could happen when they were making the medicine. She didn’t think it would be that bad. Now looking at him laying down on his side, hugging himself so pitifully and shaking like a puppy in the snow, she really wished she could do more for him.

She smiled as her hand came to rest on Trevor’s arm, brushing her thumb fondly across his tunic. “Will you be alright?”

“Y-yeah… I’d g-give my left arm for a drink right now to-- to be perfectly honest. I’ve had symptoms b-before, while on t-the road. It’s never been th-that bad, not even close. G-Guess it means I’m recovering or s-some shit like that.”

She pressed her hand more firmly on him. “I know I said this to you already but I’m proud of you.”

“I know.” Trevor whispered back. “T-Thanks. For not giving up on me. Didn’t owe me shit, yet… you’re here n-now. Don’t think-- don’t think anyone ever showed me that m-much concern ever in my life.”

“Well, you did save my life. This is nothing in comparison.” She cleared her throat. “Beside, we need you. We all need each other if we’re to succeed. And we need to be at our best. ”

“Y-yeah, I don’t think I’ve-- I’ve ever b-been at my best, honestly.” Trevor said with a small chuckle as he closed his eyes, obviously concentrating on trying to make the tremors stop.

Her hand was now moving back and forth slowly on his arm. She didn’t even realize doing it at first, but when she did she quickly removed her hand. She told herself she had to stop invading the man’s personal space like that. Just because she was comfortable didn’t mean he was. She knew for a fact that he wasn’t.

“Sorry.” She whispered instinctively.

Trevor opened his eyes to look at her in confusion. “About what?”

“I’m always touching you. All the time. I know you don’t like being touched yet I keep doing it.” She replied nervously. “I’m sorry. It’s just the only way I know of offering comfort. I’m trying though, I promise.”

He looked away sheepishly, silently admitting the truth of her words. After a moment he whispered. “It’s fine. I don’t-- don’t really mind, I’m just…” He groaned quietly and didn’t finish his sentence.

“It’s okay Trevor, you don’t have to justify yourself. I know I can be way too ‘touchy’ sometimes. I guess it’s a speaker thing. I noticed how you always flinch and get away when I get too close.” She was used to it. To people always being scared of her when they knew what she really was. She knew for a fact that Trevor wasn’t scared of her powers however, on the contrary. The awe in his eyes always made her happy, for lack of a better word. That’s probably why she sought this contact with him so much. Except for her grandfather, even the people of her tribe didn’t feel as comfortable with her magic like Trevor was. It was always tolerated but with Trevor, and Alucard even, she felt it was prized. Respected. It made her want to take full advantage of it, of this easiness surrounding it, but that was just her own selfishness speaking. “I’m sorry for making you so uncomfortable every time.”

Trevor remained silent for a moment, still looking away. Finally he grunted, looking for the right words to say. “I-It’s not-- I don’t m-mind being touched. I’m not--” Another grunt. “When-- when people touch me it’s generally t-to punch me in the face. I’m just not used to… _g-gentle touches_ .” Even the face he made when he said it seemed disgusted and uncomfortable. “Doesn’t-- doesn’t mean I don’t _like_ it. I-I don’t mind. I’m just… r-really not used to it.” His last sentence came out in a shy whisper and the look on his face told her he regretted saying it.

Sypha stared at him for much too long, contemplating his words. What a sad thing to say, but she supposed she could understand. Fighting, holding onto each other for survival and protection, that was all fine. It’s when the touches became innocent and purposeless to him that it made him so uneasy.

She hesitantly reached out for his arm with her hand again. “Would you… like to get used to it?”

Trevor made a choked, surprised sound and that adorable blush was back on his cheek when he looked back at her, only for a brief moment. His eyes darted away just as quickly and the small nervous laugh he offered did little to hide his awkwardness as he spoke. “Y-yeah... I guess that wo-- wouldn’t be so bad.”

The positive answer shouldn’t have pleased her as much as it did. She couldn't keep the grin from her face as she climbed over Trevor to reach the other side of the bed. She promptly lay down on her side as well and pressed her back to his, slightly disgusted by the sweat on the sheets put she brushed it off. She felt his body tense behind her but she only pressed herself further into him in response. It took a few minutes, but eventually he relaxed. As much as he could at least, with his body contracting with every tremor.

“T-Thank you…” He whispered softly.

“You’re welcome. Do you want to talk? Or do you want me to let you sleep?”

He grunted in response. “I-I’ll only end up having ni-nightmares again and-- and wake up feeling like sh-shit even more anyway.”

“I can tell you stories. I know a bunch. Surely I have one that will interest you.”

“S-sure, why not.”

“Or you could tell me about one of yours!” She proposed with a barely contained excitement.

“One of mine?”

“You’ve wandered Wallachia as much as me. Surely you have interesting stories to tell for it.”

He let out a long puff of air out of his mouth, considering her request. “I c-could tell you about the t-time I went to Chilia and got p-punched in the face. Or the time I went to-- to Severin and got punched in the face. O-Or more recently, in Murdenu... when I got punched in the f-face _and_ kicked in the n-nuts. Twice.”

The hearty laugh that escaped her spread to him almost immediately. “Do you have any stories where you _don’t_ get punched in the face?”

“I’m afraid n-not.” She could almost hear the smile in his voice. She loved it.

“I admit, I’d love to hear about you getting punched in the face. I’m sure you deserved it.”

“Wow. T-Thanks. I’ll have you know... I’m a very n-nice person. You’ll feel sorry for-- for saying that once I t-tell you the story.”

Sypha closed her eyes and made sure to keep her back firmly pressed against his as she listened to his story with a fond smile, catching herself contemplating the fact that she wouldn’t mind falling asleep like this for the rest of their journey.

* * *

The next days were easily among the top five of the worst time of his life and Trevor kept wondering why he was putting himself in this situation. He found himself wondering if Alucard really knew what he was talking about in this whole recovery thing or if he was just finding some perverse pleasure in torturing him. But as he promised, his symptoms lessened after some time.

The city was recovering more easily now that the demons had taken a break. There were still a few attacks much smaller in scale, but the citizen had become very adept at fighting them off on their own. Once Trevor stopped shaking like the devil in holy water and he was able to get to his feet again, they organized their departure, along with the speakers.

That’s when he had the strangest of dream. Something he had never dreamed about before. It was a memory more than anything. He was a little boy again, being led to an underground space by his father and mother. An underground library filled with all the wonders his family had ever come across in their centuries of work. When he woke up he was stricken by a strange feeling of… destiny. Like someone or something was pulling on his soul and guiding him toward this place resting under the rubble of his ancestral home. He didn’t say anything about it at first. He repressed the feeling for as long as he could because he had absolutely no desire to go back. It was making him dizzy just thinking about it. But the rational and practical part of his mind kept repeating how they were awfully under equipped for the job and that they needed tools, of any kind, to succeed in their mission. If any tools existed, it would be in the hold.

When came the time for the speakers to leave, Trevor decided he had pondered enough on the matter. He went to bid them farewell along with Sypha and he _hated_ how useless he was to her in the situation. She was obviously heartbroken to see her family leave without her. He tried. Really he did. To offer the same kind of comfort as she had offered him in his difficult times. But he wasn’t her. He wasn’t even Alucard, whose eloquence betrayed his upbringing unlike him who had lost all of it after years of living like a tramp. He wasn’t used to deal with people he _actually_ cared about. It made things a lot more complicated when you couldn't just lie because you didn’t give a shit. He was just remembering now how much of a hassle it was to care.

He managed to share his plan with them and they agreed to go to the old Belmont estate, to Trevor’s dismay. Deep down he had hoped they’d come up with some other miraculous plan. But no, his plan was their plan and now he had to commit to it and try not to let them see how terrified he was to go back there. That would just be absolutely dandy…

He had half a mind to go back to the inn and fill a flask with ale. Just for that moment when he would find himself face to face with the burnt wood and melted stone of his childhood home. He knew perfectly well that said flask would be empty by the time they’d get there though. Beside, Alucard made it very clear that it would be very easy for him to fall back into his hold habit. That just because he had pushed through the worst of it didn’t mean it was over and God he had no trouble believing that. It was already difficult and he thought about it all day, everyday. Alucard’s little infusion of weeds helped with the physical symptoms, he’d give him that, but the craving was still there. He did his best to distract himself from it with the planning of their journey until it was time to leave.

He and Sypha were preparing the wagon late in the evening. They were almost ready to leave but when Trevor looked back behind him, Alucard was no longer here. He searched his surrounding quickly, but he was nowhere in sight.

“Where’s Alucard?”

Sypha looked up from the bundle of blankets she was folding with a perplexed look. “Hm. I don’t know. Wasn’t he here just a few minutes ago?”

“I should be the one getting cold feet about this whole plan and he’s the one disappearing at the last second…”

“What did you say?”

“N-Nothing. I’ll… I’ll go look for him.”

Trevor wandered off into the town square, looking around for the bright, curly blond hair that unmistakably belonged to Alucard.

He stopped a woman on the street who was busy carrying supplies. “Excuse me? Have you seen um…” What should he call him? His friend? His colleague? “You know, a tall man with ridiculously pretty hair? Blond? Carries himself with a pompous air of superiority? Looks like a princess who doesn’t go out much?”

The woman raised a brow at him. “Yes, your friend with the black coat?”

“He is not my friend but go on.” He whispered, more to himself than to her. “Have you seen him?”

“I’m afraid not.”

Trevor sighed exasperatedly, thanking the woman for her time and moving further to ask someone else. After what felt like an eternity, a working carpenter on the side of the street finally had something useful to say.

“I saw him barely a few minutes ago. He went into that alley with a girl.”

Trevor frowned deeply at the words. What was Alucard doing, in an alleyway, with a random woman? The natural answer didn’t make much sense to him. The vampire didn’t strike him as the kind of guy to take a girl down a backstreet for a romp. The other natural answer was that the beast was hungry and finally decided to make his move on some poor lad. He tried very hard not to come to that conclusion. He had worked a lot in the past few days on trusting the man. Repeating to himself that he had done nothing to warrant any kind of suspicion. He was even beginning to believe him when he said he didn't drink human blood. So, now walking down the alley, he tried to keep this mindset and _not_ assume the worst.

He found him alright. At the end of the street in a dead end. He had his back to him and he could see the woman’s feet in front of his. They were clothed so… there was that. His teeth weren’t glued to her neck either, that was another good thing. Alucard noticed him right way and turned around with his face an example of emptiness and lack of emotion, as usual.

“Belmont.”

“Alucard.” He greeted, unable to keep the suspicious frown off his face. “We’re ready to leave. What are you doing?” His gaze drifted to the girl who blinked at him in confusion. She seemed unharmed, at least. She was a strong piece of woman despite her obvious young age. Her black hair was tied in a messy bun of top of her head. What Trevor noticed the most however was the dagger at her waist. So, not defenseless either. Another good thing.

He looked back at the vampire with a forced smile. “Someone you know?”

Alucard was silent for a moment before shrugging. “We were just talking. Sorry I kept you waiting.”

They held each other’s gaze and Trevor couldn’t shake off this feeling that something was off. That something was wrong. He just couldn’t prove it, couldn't put his finger on it...

The woman seemed to realize just now who had appeared in the street and her eyes widened.

“S-Sir Belmont?” She brushed past Alucard without so much as a glance and stopped right in front of Trevor, eyes full of wonder. “Oh God, I can’t believe you’re standing in front of me right now!” She eagerly took hold of his hand to shake it and he was just too surprised to protest. “My name is Sorina! I just want to say, before you leave us, just how grateful I am to you! We would all be dead without you, I know everyone must always tell you the same thing, but I’m grateful that I get to thank you personally for everything you have done for us! For teaching us to fight! We will never forget what you’ve done for us!”

Trevor could only blink at the wave of words thrown at him. He got the idea, of course, she was grateful and all. Her enthusiasm was a little weird but eh, he’d take that over people trying to kick his family jewels. Or outright kill him.

Alucard simply stood there, watching the interaction in silence.

“Um, you’re welcome, I guess.” He replied awkwardly, gently taking his hand away from her hold. “Don’t let your guard down now.”

“We won’t! Thank you again. So much.” She seemed to hesitate a moment, avoiding his gaze until she looked up and Trevor was stricken by her eyes.

Those dark brown eyes seemed… familiar. Deep down he knew where he had seen those eyes before, but he refused to acknowledge it, consciously or not.

“My father said he met you, the day he died.”

And just like that, Trevor almost collapsed right on the spot.

“We were supposed to leave that day, but you made him change his mind.” The girl continued, oblivious to the way Trevor’s face turned white. “I was so happy when he told me we’d stay. I didn't want to leave, we actually argued about it that day. I wanted to stay and fight. I think deep down that’s what my father wanted too, but he was so scared for us. You convinced him it was the right thing to do and I’m glad you did.”

It was as if his heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach. His mouth turned dry, his ears started ringing, tears built up behind his eyes. He had to blink and will himself to look away, taking a deep breath to regain some kind of composure.

“I-I… How-” The torrent of conflicting emotions and disbelief that washed over him was so overwhelming he just didn’t know how to react. He felt paralyzed in place and he brought his hand to his face, rubbing his eyes roughly to try and get a hold of himself. It was not very effective.

Only one thing plagued his mind and he couldn’t help but ask. “Are… are your sisters still alive?” He whispered as the two girls’ face flashed in his mind. What was their name? Maria? No, Mia and… Eve? Shit, he couldn’t remember.

“Yes, they are. My brothers too. We’re all fine.” She replied with a smile and Trevor almost burst in tears just from that alone, knowing that despite his fuck up at least the man’s kids were alright. “And it’s all thanks to you. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Please don’t…” His voice came out quivering as he shook his head and looked up. He wasn’t able to speak louder than a murmur to her. “Don’t thank me. I… I have no right to your gratitude. Not from you, how-- how can you thank me, you should be furious. You should want me dead, scream and-- and curse at me. You should… want me to pay for my mistake. For the injustice of me still being alive while he’s not. After telling him I would help all of you and then doing nothing...”

“S-sir, you _did_ help us. All of us.” She whispered back, confused by his words. “My father died fighting, doing what he believed was the right thing to do. He died protecting his family. There is no better death than that. There’s no telling what would have happened to us if we left. I, for one, am eternally grateful that we stayed. You taught us how to fight and I know I’ll be able to protect my family better than my father could have ever dreamed of. I’m sure that where he is now, he’s equally grateful to you for looking after this city like you did.”

“I could have done more. You father… I knew him barely a moment, but he offered me kindness that’s very rare to come across these days. He was a good man. I-”

He stared at her eyes and couldn’t finish his sentence. It was maddening how she had the same eyes he had. He wanted her to hit him. To be angry. To justify all the shame and rage he had thrown at himself. But no, she was just standing there with a smile and gratitude. He never felt like he deserved anything less than the silent clemency she was giving him now. But still he felt compelled to ask. Felt obliged to seek this forgiveness from the only person in this city still alive that he felt could give it to him. Take this weight off his shoulder that he had dropped there himself in punishment.

“I’m sorry.” The words came out with difficulty, but they came out. It was all that mattered. “I am so sorry that I-- that I couldn't save him. Forgive me...”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself for his death.” She replied quickly, still smiling at him so gently. “Because I certainly don’t. There is nothing to forgive.”

Trevor let out a long exhale, as if he had been holding his breath for hours. “I-- Thank you..”

This would not make the guilt go away, but it would help. Looking at her and knowing she didn’t hold him responsible and that her family was fine, it did lift some of the weight from his shoulder…

“I… I’m ashamed to ask but-- What was you father’s name?”

“Andrei.”

That felt like another weight being lifted. To know his name. He felt a bit less like an asshole. He should have asked the man himself when he was still alive. When he had offered him food and drink while he had nothing to give in return. But at least now he knew. He managed to smile and nod at the girl, silently burning the name into his mind. The woodcutting axe hanging at his waist was suddenly very heavy…

He reached for the girl’s dagger and pulled it out of its sheath, giving it skillful spin in his hand.

“That’s a horribly light and small weapon for a big, strong girl like you.” He said softly as he dropped the weapon to the ground. He untied the axe from his belt under her confused gaze and held it out to her. “You’d do a lot more damage with something like this.”

The girl’s eyes moved back and forth between Trevor and the axe until she slowly wrapped her hand around the handle. As he expected, she had no trouble lifting it. She considered its weight and smiled back at him with a satisfied nod.

“Yeah, that does feel a lot more lethal. Thank you.”

Trevor bowed his head, for now ignoring how cheesy what he had just done was. Still, it felt right to see the axe in her hand. It felt right that he had the chance to talk to her. He didn’t really know if he believed in God anymore. Didn’t really believe in fate either, despite everything in his life these days telling him the opposite. But if there really was any kind of superior, all knowing force out there, then he was eternally grateful for putting this girl on his path. For allowing him to seek forgiveness and make a semblance of peace.

That’s when he suddenly remembered where he was and with who. His eyes darted back to Alucard, who was just standing there a few feet away.

Well, that was incredibly awkward…

“We should… go back to the cart.” Trevor said to him after clearing his throat. “Sypha’s waiting for us.”

“Of course.” Alucard started walking away without another word as Trevor exchanged one last glance with the girl before following him. He kept smiling to himself all the way back to the wagon.

* * *

Alucard didn’t fully understand what happened in that alleyway between Trevor and the girl. All he knew was that thanks to it, the hunter didn’t think to ask about _what_ he was doing back there with her in the first place.

And he was eternally grateful for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 loonnng chapters in and you're still with me? Thank you so much XD I just want to make it clear that this whole fic is VERY LOOSELY PLANNED. Please don't find yourself with too much expectation plot-wise. There's no real plot. It's just the show's plot. I'm just having fun putting them in situations and exploring the characters in a way I enjoy. So yeah. Just wanted to make that clear. With that said, if that's still something you wanna tag along for, well damn you're more than welcome and thank you so much for all the support you've shown me so far!


	11. Dangerous doubts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been much too long since this has been update. I've struggle with personal problems in the past months a lot and had no energy left for this. I'm back now tho and I really want to see this through. I just don't know how long it will take. Writing this has been very difficult, as if I suddenly didn't know how to write anymore. But anyway. It's here and it's the best I could do in my current state.

Sypha paced around after she finished preparing the wagon and horses, mumbling to herself how they needed to leave now if they hoped to cover some distance before night fall. She really hoped Trevor had found their vampire companion and that they would be back soon. All that waiting was doing nothing for her except give her more time to worry and fumble with her own thoughts too much. About what lay ahead, about her tribe, about her grandfather.

They had been separated for barely a few hours and she already missed him so much. She had never been apart from him ever since he had taken her with him. His worries showed on his features when they parted ways. Despite the prophecy, she knew he wasn’t too keen on the idea of letting her go on this journey alone with two strangers. But she had faith. In destiny and in her own abilities. She had faith in Trevor and Alucard too, and so she had told her grandfather to have faith too. It wasn’t much to appease his worries, but she hoped that the embrace they shared conveyed the silent promise that she would come back alive and well. At least she found solace in the fact that he was well surrounded by his tribe, even if in the end it only made her feel sorry for herself even more for being alone, far from the only people she ever really knew.

Well, she wasn’t really alone, but both Trevor and Alucard were surrounded by such a thick aura of loneliness, sometimes it felt like you were alone despite their presence. As if their grief physically followed them, like a smell. Both in very different ways, but both equally bitter and intimidating. She felt like she was able to pierce Trevor’s misery in some ways. She was able to laugh with him, make him smile, sometimes make him blush and God she adored those moments more than she should. There was still this spark of humanity buried not so deep inside him that he was getting less and less good at hiding. Maybe she was just being naive, but she really thought she was to blame for that and that he wasn’t minding it all that much.

Alucard’s icy shroud of sorrow was much harder to pierce and it made him more difficult to approach. Maybe because everything about him betrayed his nature. She had worked to see past it, to treat him like she would any other person by trying to find the human part of him, only to realize there wasn’t. Alucard was not just half vampire half human. He was a being of its own, both heritage intertwined and inseparable, impossible to categorize. She often wondered how he viewed his own existence. How he had lived his life up until now by being part of two world that at first glance could not coexist. It must have been a lonely life and she couldn’t help but think that his impenetrable sadness stemmed from this.

Well, that and the fact that his mother died barely a year ago and that he was now on his way to kill the only remaining member of his family...

Both Alucard and Trevor were more akin to some youths lost in the cruelty of the world than the ethereal creature of the night or the bitter and disenchanted drifter they respectively appeared to be.

She was on the verge of completely losing her patience and leave to look for them when she saw them approaching. She glared at Alucard, noticing this strange smile on Trevor’s face walking a few pace behind him.

“Took you long enough! I had half a mind of leaving without you.”

“My apologies. Thank you for preparing the cart, Sypha.” He replied with a polite smile, trying to appease her annoyance towards him with gratefulness.

“Just don’t run off again like that. Where were you anyway?”

Her words seemed to wake Trevor up, narrowing his eyes at the vampire. “You should be asking _what_ he was doing.” His serene smile suddenly disappeared from his features as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I found him all alone with a girl in a alleyway, all creepy and shit. What were you doing back there?”

“Why do you care?” Alucard replied with a calm that only seemed to irritate Trevor even more.

“I’m just curious, that’s all. It’s not like you to spend time with the locals… unless you needed something from her?” He was doing a very bad job at hiding how suspicious he was behind his forced smile.

Sypha let out a long exasperated sigh, staring at Trevor and seeing exactly where he was going. It always came back to this. “You think he drank her blood, don’t you?”

“That’s not what I said!” Trevor quickly defended himself with both hands in front of him. “You’re putting words in my mouth now. But you have to admit, it’s suspicious-”

Sypha didn’t let him try to justify himself any more than that, tired of his suspicions. She stepped in between the two man without even realizing it, her back turned on the blond. “Alucard has told you, again and again, that he does not drink human blood. He’s been with us for weeks, among humans. You’ve monitored him, I know you have!” She added before he could deny her accusation. “After everything, do you still not trust him? He has done nothing to warrant any of your suspicions except being born the way he is. Isn’t it hypocrite of you to judge him on his birth when you’ve been persecuted so much for yours!”

The man opened his mouth to defend himself but nothing came out and he closed it just as quickly. She was about to keep going, to make him realize how tired she was of his paranoia, when she felt Alucard’s hand on her shoulder gently pushing her aside.

“I appreciate the defense Sypha, but we’ve lost enough time as it is because of me.” He told her softly with a nod and a small smile that disappeared almost instantly when his gaze fell back to Trevor. “My conversation with that woman is none of your business, but since you insist on acting like a child, fine. She came to the herbalist shop while I was making your medicine. She asked for my help on a personal matter and that’s what we were talking about when you arrived. Happy now?”

“Alright, doesn’t explain why you were in a shady back alley like a scoundrel.” Trevor replied in a mumble and obviously not believing him. “The populace has avoided you as much as they could while we were there, you scared most of them. Why would she-”

“Humans are willing to overlook a lot when they are desperate for something. She asked if I had something to end pregnancies.”

Both Trevor and Sypha’s shoulders dropped and she could see in the hunter’s eyes that he suddenly regretted pushing the matter out in the open.

“Oh.”

“As you can imagine, it was not something she wanted to discuss in the middle of the market.

“I-- I guess-”

“Are you satisfied? Do I need to give you the details of our conversation?”

“No, it’s-- it’s fine.” Trevor mumbled, looking away from both Alucard and Sypha before throwing his hand in the air in exasperation. “I get it, I’m an asshole! I’m gonna mind my own business next time, sorry for not trusting you, et cetera et cetera!”

He turned around and made his way to the back of the wagon. Sypha looked up at Alucard with an apologetic smile, as if somehow Trevor’s behavior was her fault, which it wasn’t at all. “I’m sorry.” She said in a whisper.

The man simply smiled back at her. He hesitated a moment before following Trevor to the back of the wagon. “Old family propaganda is hard to forget.”

Sypha rolled her eyes as she climbed on the front seat and took the reins. Would Trevor really _ever_ find it in himself to trust the vampire at all? She thought they had made good progress, excellent even, since they first met and nearly killed each other. Alucard’s vampiric nature was still a sore spot though, of course, she understood that. Alucard was right, it was in Trevor’s own nature to doubt him. Still, there was a time when one needed to see reason. See facts. Alucard was no ordinary vampire, what would it take for Trevor to understand and realize that?

She saw the blond sit on the edge of the cart as Trevor retrieved his winter coat from their supply, his face a perfect display of annoyance and discomfort. She waited for them to be ready, looking at the orange, darkening sky before her as she heard Trevor clear his throat awkwardly.

“You um-- Can you really do that?” She heard him whisper.

“Do what?

“Well... kill unborn babies or something. With that leaf juice?”

“Why? Is there something you’re not telling us Belmont? You seemed to know that girl somehow. Are you the cause of her woe?”

“The cause? What? No! What kind of bastard do you take me for?!”

“See? Not very nice when people assume things about you without any basis.”

She heard Trevor groan in frustration and shortly after he walked to the front of the cart, dropping himself heavily on the bench beside her with his arms crossed on his chest under his cloak. He was almost literally pouting. She couldn’t help but laugh at how much of a child he could be.

“What are you laughing at?” He mumbled without even glancing at her.

“Oh, nothing.” She smiled and pulled quickly on the reins of their horses “Come on boys.”

They left Gresit and followed the road toward the ancient remains of the Belmont estate. With a quiet, broody vampire at the back of the wagon and a frustrated, tired hunter at the front next to her, Sypha couldn’t help but laugh mentally at how improbable and strange their little trio was, now well in evidence by the fact that it was only the three of them. What a merry band they were really.

* * *

They didn’t cover much distance before the sun disappeared completely and they plunged into battle once more. Only the three of them this time, with much less organization than in Gresit, but equally deadly.

No matter how many times she saw Alucard and Trevor fight, it always amazed her. Both were so different in their movement, but both equally deadly. She loved Alucard’s grace and style, how he made it seem like fighting was just as difficult and strenuous as simply walking. The way his hair flew in the wind of his movement made her wish she’d grow her own hair at how beautiful it looked. His vampire powers only added to the charm, but maybe it was her own fascination with magic and occult that drew her to him like this. There was just _something_ about him, it always came down to that. To this something that she couldn’t put her finger on that made her look at him shamelessly and with awe. Watching him fight was no different. The way every movement was calculated to allow no waste of energy, it was simply inhuman. It was always quite the contrast to see Trevor beside him, moving with so much more weight, more impact, more ferocity and wildness. If Alucard’s movement were carefully learned, Trevor’s were _bred_ into him, used by instinct, and it showed. She had so much difficulty to really process how much skill the man had, because at first glance it simply didn’t show at all. But once his whip uncoiled, once he started dancing with it, once his eyes suddenly lit up with a passion and fervor she could never hope to see in any other setting, she was brutally reminded of what he was.

When she herself unleashed her fire unto the demons and killed most of them practically by herself, she had to admit the awe in their eyes stroke her pride in all the right ways. Dangerous men accompanying a dangerous woman; it was only fitting and she loved it. To know that the people she was with could handle themselves, didn’t need protection and weren’t scared of her and her powers, it was liberating. As if there was no need to hide anything, on the contrary, they made her want to show off her powers more and she embraced that feeling wholeheartedly for the first time in her life. Speakers where no strangers to magic and occult, but apparently there was a line between divination magic and shooting fireballs from your hands. None of them would ever say it, but she wasn’t blind. Most speaker feared her, if only a little. Not enough that she wouldn’t consider them friends and family, but still enough that she always felt more comfortable staying with her grandfather than anyone else. But here, with those two strangers that were quickly growing on her, there was no such apprehension and it gave her a peace of mind she had rarely felt in her life.

Trevor insisted on setting up a rotation of watch duty among them, but Alucard made a point that he didn’t need to sleep much and so he could guard their camp at night without problem. After much arguing and insults and exchange of both reasonable and unreasonable arguments, Trevor complied. Their cart was spacious enough for two but still Sypha made an effort to leave him all the space he needed and not touch him unnecessarily. In the middle of their first night however, she woke up to the feeling of his back pressing against her and she couldn’t keep the dumb smile from her lips as she reciprocated the contact eagerly, finding comfort in the physical touch of another that she was so used to get when she was with her tribe. It made her feel more at home. Whether Trevor did it to make her feel better knowing she was far from her family, or simply because he enjoyed it himself, she wasn’t sure. Both answers pleased her anyway. She never dared to bring it up during the day and decided to silently enjoyed it, scared that if she talked about it he would stop.

Their first days of travel were spent in silence. Trevor dozed off beside her most of the time. A series of short naps generally ending in a spasm and a panicked whimper from whatever nightmare had decided to plague him this time. No matter how many times she asked about it, he never answered with anything more than a grunt. After days of not being able to sleep and on the verge of feverish delirium due to the lack of alcohol in his system back in Gresit, he was now on the downward slope. Alucard reassured her it was a good thing. That his body needed as much rest as it could get to recover more easily. Even then, he never managed to sleep for more than a few hours at a time when they set camp at night, generally helped by the infusion Alucard made for him. When he did manage to stay awake, he was generally too grumpy to have a nice conversation with. He seemed lost in thoughts and uncomfortable most of the time, glancing behind his shoulder now and then to look at the blond sitting at the back. Maybe he was just still being a paranoid asshole, that’s what she told herself and so she simply let him sulk on his corner of the bench.

Their vampire companion was more talkative here on the road. Both of them exchanged many stories while Trevor slept. She asked about his mother, about his life with her, how she met his father. She learned of her appetite for knowledge, how she taught Alucard everything he knew about herbalism and more. She must have been a wonderful person and she idly wondered, for a brief moment, if Dracula’s anger was entirely justified after all. She couldn’t help but think that yes, it was. It did not justify his actions, but it explained it. She wondered too how Alucard himself had refrain from joining his father. It was obvious in the way he spoke of his mother just how much he loved her. Her name evoked as much affection in his voice as the name of his father brought up pain and shame. So she kept questioning him about Lisa, about the time she was alive, about all the good things Alucard, and probably Dracula too, could remember her by. It seemed like a better way to honor her memory than dwelling on the consequences of her death.

They passed through a few abandoned settlements, fought many more demons, found many corpses and many carts sideways on the side of the road with more corpses. She recognized some of them as the people who had fled Gresit. Apparently Trevor did too as he mumbled to her “Looks like staying in Gresit really was the good call after all.” with a shake of his head.

“Thanks to you.” She reminded him. Trevor only shrugged in response, unwilling to accept the compliment as always.

When they moved from the main roads and into the more remote countryside toward the Belmont estate, the demon attacks stopped almost completely. Alucard mentioned how his father was targeting the major cities first and maybe they would be fine until they reached the hold. Maybe.

With each battle they fought until that point, Sypha noticed how Alucard’s movement slowed. How his skin seemed even paler, how his eyes were tired and how he almost never used his vampire power to fight anymore. She started to wonder if he really didn’t need to sleep or if he had just said that to appease their mind. It didn’t take long until it was evident to her that something was wrong and as they traveled during the day, she decided to gather her courage and ask him about it once they settled to camp.

The sun was barely setting when Trevor asked to stop for the night, saying how he wanted to try and hunt something now that monsters weren’t crawling everywhere. She didn’t quite understand why, they had plenty of food and supply for their journey in the cart, but Trevor actually seemed _almost_ excited about it so she knew better than to kill his joy.

She was even more surprised when he actually came back with two hares and that shit eating grin of his. Even Alucard, who had settled in front of the fire as he always did, looked up with curiosity. He probably wondered, like her, how Trevor managed to catch two rabbits with no traps. Another set of skill the man had under his sleeve, she supposed. Well hidden, like the rest.

He sat on a tree stump with his knife to prepare them while Sypha came to sit next to Alucard in front of the fire. “Are you alright?” She asked very vaguely compared to the specific worry she had in her mind.

The question seemed to catch him completely off guard and he looked at her as if she had spoken a language he didn’t understand before answering hesitantly. “I’m fine.”

“You seem tired. You know, I can keep watch tonight if you need to sleep.”

The vampire only laughed lightly at her words. “Thank you for the offer. And the concern. But I’m fine, I assure you. I do need to sleep, but I can do so during the day, it’s not a problem. Don’t worry.” He looked at her so gently, she wondered idly if he had his mother’s eyes.

“Hey, bloodsucker!” Trevor’s loud voice forced her to look away and prevented from her from questioning him any more about his health. She could just see the exasperation on Alucard’s features from the name being shouted at him.

“What?” He asked as he slowly got up to walk to the hunter. Trevor met him halfway with a cup in his hand, which he handed to him. Alucard eyed it suspiciously. “What is this?”

“It’s blood, genius.” He replied with a roll of his eyes. He kept his hand extended toward him as he spoke, moving his wrist to stir the red liquid in the cup. “I’m not fucking stupid, alright? You look like shit. I've seen you eat food but when’s the last time you really _fed_?”

It was another question that seemed to catch him off guard. “It’s… been a while.”

“Right, well it shows. Can’t have you faint on us before we even reach your dad.” Trevor explained, mumbling his words. “I know you said you drank pig blood but there ain’t much pigs around here so. Hope rabbit’s blood is good enough. If not then tough shit, you’ll have to make do.”

Sypha remained seated on the ground as she looked and listened to the exchange. Had Trevor insisted on hunting to get Alucard fresh animal blood? Alucard obviously came to the same conclusion, staring at Trevor with disbelief.

“You… went hunting for my sake?” His words didn’t hold the teasing it usually did, but instead a sincere surprise, to which Trevor only scoffed.

"Don't be so full of yourself, I went hunting to eat real meat for once. Now I have two hares full of blood that I have no use for. I just thought--” He grunted at his own attempt at explaining and pushed the cup to Alucard’s chest. “Look, just take it and drink before it clots.”

The blond slowly obeyed, taking the cup from Trevor’s fingers. “I-- Thanks...”

“Yeah, are you sure it’s fine? Cause the look on your face tells me you’d rather drink piss than this.”

“No, of course not. This is perfectly fine. I just-” He was hesitating a lot. Uncharacteristically so. Finally he cleared his throat and smiled. “I’m just surprised.”

“I’m not a complete asshole, contrary to what I might let on. Just take it as an apology or something. For distrusting you so much for so long. I-” The hunter struggled with what he wanted to say, the scene made only more grotesque with all that rabbit blood on his hands. His next words seemed physically difficult to let out of his mouth as he avoided Alucard’s honeyed gaze. “I... really am... sorry. I acted like a first grade dickhead, again and again and again. I mean, you’re an insufferable piece of shit, but that’s no reason to distrust you like I have. Hell, _I’m_ an insufferable piece of shit too anyway, I can tell that much! It’s certainly no reason to let you starve to death, so just take it alright? Just don’t drink it in front of me please, it grosses me out...”

Trevor didn’t let him reply and quickly turned around to walk back to his prey. Sypha suppressed a laugh as she watched the hunter sit back on his stump only a shade away from blushing with the most annoyed face and Alucard just standing there looking at the blood in his hand as if it had miraculously appeared there. She wouldn’t be surprised if Trevor had been thinking about this for a while now. Trying to find a proper way to apologize. That’s probably why he always seemed so pensive and awkward since they left Gresit. What a dork he was under all those layers of crass.

She would have kept laughing to herself some more if it wasn’t for the slight look of disgust that appeared on Alucard’s features as he smelled the cup. It was brief, but she saw it alright and it caught her attention entirely. The vampire wrinkled his nose like a child forced to eat the vegetable he hates, so concentrated on the cup he seemed to forget her presence behind the fire. He did glance briefly at Trevor however, who had his back turned to them, and took a deep breathe before closing his eyes and downing the blood in one go like Trevor would a tankard. She clearly saw the shiver of revulsion that ran up his body. Even without that, the face he made betrayed how horribly he hated the taste. It took a moment before he regained some kind of composure, opening his eyes to make sure Trevor hadn’t looked at him. After another long intake of air and another shiver, he walked up to the hunter to thank him and give him back the cup, to which Trevor only nodded as he kept working on their dinner.

Sypha quickly looked away before Alucard could turn toward her, hopefully appearing as if she hadn’t been watching him. The vampire made no comment and remained as silent as always, eyes glued to the fire while he took a seat. She promptly engaged in light conversation with him, about herbs and medicinal practices and magic, like they usually did. All the while the little gears in her head spun at full speed. After eating Trevor’s rabbits they went to bed as Alucard stood watch outside like he always did. Trevor fell asleep first, for the first time, but Sypha lay there on her back and stared at the wagon’s ceiling without really seeing it. The realization of what she had witnessed hit her like a stone in the stomach.

Alucard did _not_ live on animal blood.

And suddenly she felt like maybe she should have listened to Trevor’s paranoia a bit more.

Maybe she was jumping to conclusion. Maybe there was another explanation. Did he just hate the taste of rabbit blood in particular? Or maybe Trevor had been right all along and Alucard had lied. Had he drank from humans back in Gresit behind their back? No, Trevor would have noticed. But that girl he was with before they left…

God she was almost hyperventilating from asking herself too much question at the same time. She took a few deep breath as she forced her mind to stop spinning around all those ifs. There was no point fumbling with her own thoughts like this. If Alucard had lied, there must have been a reason. The only way to know was to ask him, as crazy as it sounded. Yes, let’s go ask the vampire if he lied about not drinking human blood, alone in the dark with no one miles around…

Well, Trevor was there. If anything happened he would wake up...

But she wouldn’t need him because she was going to walk up to Alucard, ask him and he will give her a perfectly reasonable explanation and she’ll go back to sleep in peace…

With those words repeating in her mind like a mantra she slowly got up, careful not to wake her companion, and gently climbed down the cart. She needed to know. She needed to put her mind at ease. Whatever Alucard had to say about it, she needed to hear it.

In the moonlit clearing where they camped, Alucard’s eyes shone like those of a wolf in the dark. He was sitting in front of the dead fire, one leg bent up as his arm rested on his knee near his chin. The moment she stepped forward, his bright eyes focused slowly on her. This feeling of being a prey crept up her spine, but still she moved toward him. When he asked her if something was wrong, in a tone that in her mind twisted by her imagination and worry sounded almost threatening, she didn’t even reply. She simply kelt down beside him, feeling her heart pound in her chest as she tried to formulate her question while at the same time making sure her magic was ready to be summoned and unleashed. Better safe than sorry...

“Alucard-” She started as he raised a questioning brow at her. “You don’t really feed on animal blood, do you? That was a lie, isn't it?”

He didn’t reply.

He didn’t say anything, didn’t make a single sound. Not even a huff of outrage at the accusation or a small laugh at how ridiculous he found her question. He remained completely still for what seemed like an eternity, eyes wide.

His silence was more of an answer than anything he could have said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still giving this thing a chance. I honestly don't know when I'll be able to update this but thank you to everyone who's given me so much support until now. I'll try really hard to see this through, I promise.


	12. Unveiling carefully woven lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I'm still here. It's all thanks to your wonderful comments!

Sypha was known in her tribe to be somewhat of a daredevil, ever since she was a child. She had broken many limbs in daring attempt to do stupid things, just because she could, and fallen sick after trying to eat things that should have never gotten into her mouth, just because she was curious. Her grandfather often told her she was perhaps a bit too curious and careless for her own good. Right now, sitting next to Alucard in a silence that seemed to stretch forever after her bold question, she felt that statement had never been more true.

The initial look of utter surprise and something else, maybe panic, was short lived on the vampire's features when she voiced her thoughts. But oh it was there alright and she saw it clear as day even in the dimly lit clearing. She felt every muscle of her body tense as she waited for him to say something, anything. To deny her accusation, laugh, be angry, anything…

He blinked at her in confusion as he finally spoke. "I'm sorry?" The way he frowned could have fooled her. Made her think he really was taken aback by her question. That he didn't know what she was talking about. She didn't believe it.

“I said-” Her heart pounded in her chest, loudly reverberating in her ears. “You don’t really live on animal blood.” It was more a statement than a question now, she noticed.

His eyes searched hers, for what she couldn’t tell. She had trouble to hold his gaze, but she did, with as much confidence as she could. His own composure was devoid of this disconcerting assurance he usually held. Stress was easy to see, so contrasting on someone who always appeared calm and in control.

“What… makes you think that?” He asked, his body completely still.

“I saw you drink the blood Trevor gave you.” She replied honestly, suddenly very unsure of how this would all turn out. She was expecting him to deny her accusation outright, not question her. “The look of disgust on your face… you don’t drink this on a regular basis, do you?”

Another long silence pervaded the clearing, disturbed only by the wind blowing in the distant trees. He seemed to consider her words, body tensing, breathing growing heavier. The tension between them was heavy as well, weighing down on her more with each second of silence from him.

“You’re not denying it.” She said after the quiet pressure around her became too much.

“I…” He hesitated, looking away from her. “I simply don’t particularly like the taste.”

“You don’t like the taste of blood?”

“It’s- yes, I realize how silly that sounds.”

“You don’t like the taste of animal blood or human or both?”

Alucard shrugged, obviously searching for the right answer to her question. He was lying, fumbling with his thoughts to fabricate a coherent lie to spit on her, wasn't he?

“I don’t really... like either. I suppose I just never got used to it.”

“So you’ve tasted both?” She saw his hand close into a tight fist at her question.

“Why all those questions now?” He asked, looking back at her with a hint of annoyance. “It’s late, you should be sleeping-”

“I saw you, Alucard.” She didn’t let him finish his useless attempt at making her go away. She was not leaving until she got what she came for. Answers. Clear answers that she could believe. She believed nothing of what he had told her so far. “You made sure that Trevor didn’t see you drink.”

“Y-Yes, he told me it disgusted him-”

“No, you were nervous. Nervous like you are now.” Probably not as nervous as she was herself. Still she forged on, already too far gone into this to back away. “You didn’t want him to see how you hated the taste. Because you know he would have noticed and you know the conclusion he would have drawn.”

His face was now hidden behind his curtains of blond hair that looked more silver in the moonlight. He stared at the pile of burnt wood before him, unmoving and quiet. Again he failed to defend himself, which only made her more nervous while also more certain of her assumptions.

“Alucard.” She said his name with resolve, mentally preparing for a fight. She could feel it in her bones, this shift in their conversation from his lack of reply. This impending feeling that something was about to go wrong, creeping up her spine. “Answer me. Do you really feed on animal blood?”

Finally he broke his silence, a small chuckle escaping his lips like a gambler caught cheating in a game of cards. She watched him very carefully, ready to jump away and wondering how loud she would need to scream for Trevor to wake up.

“I think you’ve already drawn your own conclusion about that.” He said in a whisper, turning his head just enough to look at her. He straightened his back very slowly as he smiled almost fondly at her, his wavy hair falling gracefully off his shoulder. “You are a very courageous woman. To ask me those questions, alone, in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night, with Belmont sleeping far enough that he would not reach you in time.”

Sypha swore her heart skipped a beat, adrenaline bursting out in her system, painting her vision red. A little voice somewhere in the back of her head called her a fool. That this was the worst idea she ever had and that she should have never confronted him. Not like this and not alone. She ignored the voice and scowled at him, the magic in her blood boiling in response to what she perceived as a very clear threat and she whispered back at him with barely contained anger. “I assure you, I do not need Trevor to protect me against whatever could threaten me in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night.”

He didn’t reply, but his arm moved to leave its resting position on his knee. It all happened so quickly in her head, she acted on instinct and reflexes, nothing else. The moment he moved, an icicle rose from the ground at the right angle to pierce through Alucard’s throat. The tip stopped just below his chin and the vampire froze, tilting his head up slightly. Sypha backed away out of reach and extended her arm toward him, flame dancing between her two fingers.

“No, indeed, you do not.” He said slowly, eyes on the spear at his neck. With the small flame before him, his eyes really looked as if they were made of liquid gold. She forced herself not to look at them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to threaten you. I was simply expressing genuine admiration at how bold of you it was to confront me on this subject like this. If… what you think about me was to be true, that is.”

“And is it?” She asked through gritted teeth, raising her voice ever so slightly. “Did you lie to us? About this, about anything else? Do I need to wake up Trevor, so he can see he was right about you?”

“I…” She saw the panic flash behind his eyes for an instant before he continued hastily, his breath catching in his lungs. “N-No, there’s no need. If… If you would just let me explain myself?”

Sypha remained quiet, her hand firmly kept toward his head to incinerate him. He took her silence as an invitation to speak again.

“You’re right. Animal blood is disgusting and no, I do not live off it.” He said softly, looking down at her with a pleading gaze. “I did not mean to lie to you. It was… a lie a found myself caught in. Something I told Belmont when he asked about my need for blood. I didn’t think it through, I just said it so he would think me more… harmless.”

“As if Trevor would ever see a vampire as harmless .” She replied with a frown.

“Maybe not, but you can’t deny it was effective. Winning the man’s trust has been difficult and that is an understatement. He would still be afraid to find my fangs in his neck now if it wasn’t for this. I just wanted to make things easier, for both him and I.” He kept his voice low, probably afraid the man in the cart would wake up to hear their conversation. “I’m sorry I lied to you as well in the process. You have been nothing but accepting of me from the start and I’m grateful for it. And it was stupid of me to think I could fool you. But I assure you, this changes nothing to what I told you since we began this. My resolve to stop my father and save my mother’s people is the same.”

“Except that you feed on your mother’s people.”

“It’s not like I have any other choice. Animal blood can sustain a vampire, keep him alive, but nothing more. If I made you eat only a piece of bread and a mug of water every day, you would live, but you would be weak. It is the same struggle. My well being and my powers depend on human blood. That is my nature and I cannot change it.”

Sypha pressed further with more questions now that the vampire’s lips were loose. “The girl in Gresit, just before we left. Were you going to drink from her?”

“Yes.” Alucard replied honestly, without hesitation, trying to prove his good will probably. It only angered her more.

“You would have killed her…”

“No!” He said louder before catching himself and lowering his voice again with a sigh. “I don’t kill humans when I feed from them. I glamour them and they don’t even remember it when they wake up. It becomes nothing more than a strange dream. It’s harmless, mostly. Blood lost has its side effects of course, but other than that, they walk out unharmed…” He looked down at the spike and nodded his head carefully at it. “Could you-”

“No.” She said bluntly

“Alright…” He sighed again, his hands hovering for her to see. She kept an eye on the sword next to him as well, knowing it could move on its own. “I understand your displeasure. And your distrust. I truly am sorry. If you’re worried about the safety of your own neck, I assure you I have no intention of feeding from neither you nor Belmont. I didn’t mean to lie like this. It just... happened. You know him. You’ve seen the extent of his paranoia. Can you really blame me for trying to make things easier?”

“It’s still wrong. And drinking from hypnotized people who have no say in it isn’t much better either.”

“Well I’ve yet to meet anyone who would accept to give a vampire their blood of their own free will. What would you have me do? Ask nicely? With Dracula’s army abroad and people hunted by creatures of the night, yes, I’m sure that would go very smoothly.” Sypha narrowed her eyes at his mocking tone. His hands moved ever so slightly and the ice pushed into his skin, making him suck in a breath. “I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t excuse my dishonesty and I know my words must sound hollow to you right now, but I swear on my mother's soul that I am not a threat to either of you. I’ll beg you in any way you see fit if it can grant me your forgiveness and I swear I will never lie to you again. I never meant to…”

She repressed a laugh at his words. How was she to know he didn’t lie about anything else? Deep down she understood his reasoning, but it still left a bitter taste in her mouth. Although at the end of the day, did it matter? Could they even afford to shun him for this lie when the mission ahead required the tree of them? Would she really swept every moment she spent with him under the carpet because of this? Every blood shed together in the defense of Gresit? Everything he had done to help Trevor deal with his alcohol problems?They said actions spoke louder than words, did they speak louder than lies too?

Did it even bother her that Alucard drank human blood? Not really. If truly he didn’t hurt them in the process, then she couldn’t care less. As he said, it’s not like he had much of a choice. She was surprised Trevor didn't know that vampires need human blood to maintain their powers. Maybe his family didn't know themselves, they seemed more eager to learn ways of killing them as quickly as possible than study them in this way. Or perhaps it was simply a lesson Trevor had yet to learn when he was made orphan. Who knew what else was missing in his vampire hunter education. She would have to take Alucard's word for it, unfortunately.

She hated that he had felt the need to lie about it at all actually. But then again, it was not directed at her. Maybe if Trevor hadn't been who he was, he wouldn't have felt the need to lie at all. She had no doubt he would have been able to keep lying even now and make her believe him, but instead he exposed himself to her. Maybe that counted for something.

The fact remained that they could not afford to enter the battle ahead of them at a disadvantage. They all needed each other to succeed…

The spear of ice slowly retracted from his throat and the fire in her hand died out.

“I’ll give you the benefice of the doubt.” She said with a frown. “I must say, you are an excellent liar. Your conversation with the girl, the pregnancy and all that, it was all a lie? None of it was true?”

“No, I just came up with something that would keep Belmont from asking more about it.” He bowed his head and slowly rubbed his neck where the ice had pressed against his skin. “I had no intention of hurting her. She would have left this alleyway missing a pint of blood, but otherwise in the same state she had entered, on her own two feet.”

“Didn’t you have supplies of blood in your keep?”

“Yes. Had. I needed most of it after waking up. I intended to keep the rest for our journey, but as I’m sure you recall, you had no intention of leaving Gresit so soon.” He explained with a sigh.

So that’s why he was so eager to leave. “Are you blaming me now?”

“Of course not. But our nights of fighting have been more strenuous than I thought and I found myself needing more blood to keep up. My supplies ran dry long before we even left Gresit…” He looked away, hesitating again. She had never seen him hesitate so much. “I refrained from trying anything on anyone, with Trevor scrutinizing me and ready to stake me on sight. As our departure became imminent, it was my last chance to feed, not knowing when we would encounter other humans on the road, if any. But since that didn’t quite work out as I planned… I must say my powers are almost non existent at this point.”

“I noticed.” She replied, the anger and fear slowly disappearing from her guts. She wanted to believe him. To believe that he was being honest right now. He better be. She was not inclined to give third chances to liars. “What were you planning to do? Fight you father without your powers?”

“I was still in the process of finding a solution to this problem.” He admitted. “There are a few settlements further down the road. I was gambling on the fact that there would still be people alive there.”

“And that we wouldn’t notice you feeding from them.”

“Yes, well, especially Belmont. I never intended to keep this masquerade going on. I never intended to lie to you at all, but I found myself tangled in my own lie before I knew it. I am… not good with long term social interaction, to say the least.” He said as he glanced at the caravan further away. “Do you… intend to tell him the truth?”

“Nothing good will come out of this lie Alucard. He will know, sooner or later.”

“Not if you never tell him. We can complete our mission without unnecessary animosity between us, then go our separate ways and he’ll be none the wiser.”

“Alucard…” She sighed heavily at his words. Words of logic, pragmatic and practical. Morally it upset her too much for her to accept them. “He has the right to know-”

“Sypha, please…” His hand came to rest on hers as he pleaded, uncharacteristically so. “Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be.”

She sighed deeply again, not liking this at all. Not liking the effect his supplicant air had on her. “Me telling him would only spread oil on his embers, so no, I will not. But you should tell him the truth, Alucard. Even if it makes things difficult, it’s the right thing to do.”

“I know that…” He whispered with a nod as he removed his hand from hers. “And I will tell him after everything is done if it pleases you, but right now, I doubt we can afford the kind of drama this revelation would cause.”

“Then you shouldn’t have lied in the first place.” She retorted sharply, to which he only bowed his head in a silent, shameful apology.

“You’re right, but what is done is done. I’m sorry for putting you in this position.”

“Yes, I’m starting to believe I am too perceptive for my own good.” She groaned. Maybe she would have preferred not knowing? Now she would have to pretend like she didn’t know anything. Oh God what had she gotten herself into?

"I have to admit, this is a weight off my chest. I never wanted to hide things from you. With all the trust you've shown me from the start, none of this felt right. I'm sorry."

“Me knowing doesn't solve your problem. How do you intend to handle this anyway? What will you do if we don’t encounter other humans?”

“I… I don’t know, to be honest.” He confessed.

Sypha stood up from her kneeling position to sit more comfortably on the ground, now that she didn’t fear for her life. Maybe she should still, but the way he looked so lost and ashamed now, she couldn’t bring herself to be scared of him anymore. Was it really so hard to believe he had lied out of good intentions? It's not like she had never lied before, to prevent tears or anger or troubles. This was no different, she just didn't expect this kind of behavior from him.

Now she was left with an entirely new problem on her hands. Their hands. And it was a big one, that needed to be addressed now . If there were no humans left on the way to the Belmont estate, what would Alcuard do? Survive on human food and animal blood, letting his vampiric power die out? What good would he be against his father if he fought like a starved man?

The first thing that came to her mind as she considered the problem was to jeopardize her own safety. She was known to be somewhat brash after all, so the words leaving her lips without a second thought shouldn’t have surprised her that much.

“What’s stopping you from drinking from us?”

Was she really proposing that? Apparently she was. It was a simple solution to their problem and as she voiced it, she found it didn’t scare her as much as it should have. Maybe she really was reckless…

Alucard reacted as if she had just propositioned to bed him, head turning sharply to look at her with wide eyes.

“I-I would never-”

“Why? What’s the difference?” She narrowed her eyes at him, not understanding his reaction. “Drinking from a strangers or drinking from Trevor and me, it’s the same isn’t it? Well, maybe not Trevor.” She corrected herself. “If it’s harmless like you pretend it is, what’s the problem?”

He fumbled with his words. “T-That’s… it’s not the same. I-I mean, you’re not-” Was he blushing? It was hard to tell in the darkness pierced only by moonlight. “It just doesn’t feel right to feed from you. You… you’re not food you’re-”

“Because you see other humans as food?”

“N-No, that’s not what I meant!” He corrected himself quickly. He was almost babbling at this point and she repressed a laugh at seeing him so out of his usual countenance. She was starting to realize how delicate of a subject this was for him. “Listen, I’ve never fed from someone I personally knew. I’ve never drink from someone who was…” He hesitated again and so Sypha helped him.

“Willing? Conscious? Consenting?”

He flinched at the words she used, but agreed. “W-Well, yes. Actually, I’ve never really known or mixed with humans much in my life, before you two. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t know how to handle this… this relationship . I’ve never had to deal with this. This is already hard enough for me without blurring the line even more by associating you with…”

“Food?”

“I was about to say blood but… yes.” He was refusing to look at her now. The way he spoke to her was just so strange. So different from what she had ever known from him. So awkward and unsure, both in his voice and body. She felt like maybe, by unveiling his lies, she had unveiled a lot more in the process.

She understood his apprehension. A little. But considering the situation, she didn’t think he could afford to be picky about the source of his dinner. The way he acted now was more akin to an emotional teenager than the pragmatic vampire she had known so far.

“Alucard, I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but I assure you, you’re making a big deal out of something that is not. You need blood. I have blood. It’s as simple as that.”

“It just doesn’t seem right. I-I’m not really comfortable with the idea-”

“Not comfortable?” She said a bit too loud, laughing at the same time. “I’m the one who should ‘not be comfortable’ here, but we don’t have much choice. You need it Alucard. You’ll be useless to us in the fight against your father if you starve yourself! Is this what you want? To have come this far and fail because...” Because what? Because he didn’t want to drink from humans he considered his friends? Did he even considered her his friend? It's not like they'd known each other for a very long time. He didn't even trust her enough to tell her the truth from the start...

“I don’t want you to be scared of me because of this.” He said, finally looking back at her.

The words rang a bell in her mind, awakening memories long forgotten. She couldn't quite understand why the words seemed so familiar, until she substituted his voice with her own. Saying those same words to someone she considered a friend as she was about to expose herself and her magic. Confess what she was. The outcome had been less than pleasant. She had hidden who she was so much after that, until she didn't care anymore if people were scared of her.

“Why do you care if I’m scared of you?” She asked slowly, lost in memories.

“I don’t know.” He replied softly after a moment. “I just hate the idea of you flinching away from me.” His words got to her more than she thought it would. She was all too familiar with this feeling. Of seeing people recoil in fear. “I know our alliance is one of convenience, but I find myself… enjoying your company, very much so. I don’t want this to change. I don’t want you to look at me and see my fangs, nothing else. I… I’m sorry, I sound like a child now.”

Sypha reached for his shoulder instinctively as he turned away, gently squeezing with her hand. The similarities between their experience and feelings struck her hard, seeing her younger self in his apprehension. She never thought he would have cared that much about what people might think. What she might think. With the way he seemed so ethereal, so ominous all the time, it was easy to forget there were very human feelings hidden under the appearances he kept. He may have been a creature of the night, but he was still just a young man too. Vampires felt as much as humans, Dracula was proof of that.

"I am not scared of you. It would take a lot more than that to scare me. You've proven your resolve and loyalty more than enough, and so I’m choosing to believe you. I’m choosing to trust you, so please believe me when I say my opinion of you will not change because of this.”

Alucard laughed softly at her reply. “In the last few minutes you learned that I’ve lied to you from the start, that I feed on your kind and now you’re offering your blood to me. And here I thought Belmont was the foolhardy one.”

“I’m offering you my friendship Alucard. As I always have. You lied out of fear… I know that feeling all too well. But there’s no need to hide anything from me. Not with what we’re setting out to do. And if I must give you my blood in order to succeed, I’ll do so without hesitation. We’re in this together.”

Her words seemed to get to him. A lot. The way he stared back at her so gently made butterflies flutter in her stomach. The way he smiled and slowly put his hand on top of hers on his shoulder made her heart beat faster all of a sudden. “You’re truly a remarkable woman.” He whispered. “My mother would have been very fond of you… as I find myself to be as well.”

Sypha panicked at how much his words affected her. At how her cheeks burned in the cold of the night and her breath caught in her lungs. In her panic, she could only laugh and jest as a defense mechanism. “You don’t need to flatter me you know. I already agreed to feed you.”

He echoed her laugh with his own, releasing his hold on her hand. “I appreciate the offer, really I do. But-”

“There’s no but here. Do you want to face your father in the state you’re in?” She asked before he could protest again.

“That… would be ill advised.”

“Then stop thinking so much about it and do what you must.” She tugged at the collar of her robe, offering her neck to him. God this was one of the strangest situations she’d ever been in. They needed to be done with this and quickly before she recovered her senses about how bad of an idea this was.

“I see your point.” He replied slowly, reluctantly accepting what she was offering. “But for the record, I just want to say I’m not comfortable at all with this.”

“Your discomfort has been noted. And ignored. Just… do your thing. Don’t make me cut myself to force feed you, you know I will.”

“Yes, I have no doubt you would. There’s no need.” He still looked at her, unsure of what to do, until he finally sighed in resignation and reached for her hand to take it away from her collar. “But not there. You won't be able to hide it. Somewhere else… where Belmont won't notice it ”

She must have been spending too much time with their hunter because the first thing to come to her mind was 'what? I'm not letting you bite me on my ass.' She repressed the thought as quickly as it came, considering his request more seriously. She reached for the thigh black sleeve under her robe to pull it off and rolled up the sleeve of her blue coat, offering her bare forearm to him.

"Will this do then?"

"I… yes that's… that's fine." He hesitantly reached for her arm, placing one hand on her wrist and the other on her upper arm. She moved closer to him, sitting next to him to keep her arm half stretch in front of him. Alucard pulled her closer until her elbow was in front of his chest. She swore he was shaking slightly as he stared at her skin with discomfort. "Are you really sure about this Sypha? You really don’t have to-”

"Goodness Alucard. For someone who takes blood from enthralled humans, you're suddenly very stick on having my consent."

"It's not the same-"

"Yes. Yes it is." Her heart was going to burst out of her chest if they kept the suspense going any longer. They needed to be done with this now .

She felt his hand tighten around her arm as he lowered his head carefully. She felt his hair brush against her skin, making her marvel at how impossibly soft they were.

“I’ve never bitten someone who was… aware. I have to admit this is awkward.”

“I can assure you, it’s just as awkward for me, if not more. So please, please just hurry.”

He hesitated yet again. She really considered just cutting herself to shove her arm in his mouth at this point. He was the one making this awkward now with his reluctance.

“I should warn you though.” He started, still delaying the inevitable. “A vampire bite can be more… pleasant than you might think.”

She looked back sternly at him in confusion. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well… you’ll see.”

The only warning he gave her was the feeling of hot air in the crook of her arm. The next moment she felt the sting of his bite, a choked grunt dying in her throat as the pain shook her to her bones. Her whole body shivered, instinctively trying to take her arm away from his hold, but he kept her firmly in place. The pain was short lived, leaving a horrible discomfort in her flesh as he removed his fangs from her.

Then she felt a much too hot tongue glide over the wound and the shiver that ran up her spine were of an entirely different nature. She closed her eyes at the sensation, biting her lip to keep any unwanted sounds from escaping her. When she opened her eyes again she refused to look at him, instead staring at the forest far in the distance. It made her all too aware of his small moan vibrating on her skin when her blood coated his tongue and she refused to acknowledge how it twisted her stomach in a far from disgusted way.

Was this what he meant when he said ‘pleasant’? Or was that just her reacting too strongly to what was, she had to admit, way more sexy than any of this had the right to be. She supposed she understood now why vampire stories were always intertwined with sex. The act of the bite in itself felt extremely intimate, mixed with this sense of danger and forbidden act. Maybe all those stories of maidens lured into vampire fangs weren’t so ridiculous after all.

His lips closed around the wound and she felt just as much as she heard him suck on the blood pooling inside his mouth. She was vaguely aware of his nails digging in her arm, not enough to be painful, but enough for her to flinch. Her other hand made a tight fist on her lap as she took a deep breath to calm the crazy beat her heart had decided to adopt. It was far from working. Her heart was downright betraying her right now, as if making her blood pump faster to give the vampire what he craved.

She kept her gaze away for as long as she could until her curiosity got the better of her. She turned her head slowly, only to see his face hidden behind his hair. The pain in her arm disappeared steadily until she felt numb, as if she had slept on it all night, but strangely the feeling of his mouth was still very distinctive. Every gulp he took, she felt it all too well. His tongue lapping at the wound was all she could really feel, overwhelming everything else and making goosebumps rise on her skin . She didn’t feel the heat on her cheeks anymore, or the wind failing to cool her. All she felt was his mouth and something else growing inside her. It was subtle, creeping inside her so slowly and softly it was hard to notice. It was in the way her eyelids grew heavier, that her head spun, that her breathing grew louder. She was distantly aware of a moan echoing in her ears, unsure if it was even her own voice. As much as her body had tensed, it was now melting. Dissolving into a puddle of pleasant tingles and soft shivers. She felt cool and warm at the same time, her mind lost in a mist invading all her senses. Like she had drunk too much warm wine on a cold winter evening. She found herself forgetting where she was and what was making her feel like this until she opened her eyes, not having realized that she had closed them again.

He sucked so gently, so carefully, it felt like the blond was just kissing her. She couldn’t tell how long she’d been here, letting a vampire drink her blood in the middle of the night. God what would Trevor do if he woke up to this? He would probably kill Alucard, without a second thought. She half expected to hear the crack of the whip, any moment now. Actually no, if the man was to stumble upon this scene, the rage would probably muddle his senses so much that he’d try to kill the vampire with his bare hands.

But nothing happened. Their hunter was still soundly asleep in the cart. Her head spun so much now, she just let it fall on Alucard’s shoulder with a quiet moan. While her mind started to panic at how much the vampire was taking, her body refused to respond to the feeling. She weakly pulled her arm away without success as Alucard kept it firmly in place like a prized possession, still drinking in earnest.

“A-Alucard…” She whispered as loud as she could, which really wasn’t much. She tried to keep her eyes open but her eyelid kept fluttering. It took every ounce of strength left in her body to raise her other hand, tugging at his coat in a vain attempt to catch his attention.

Not so vain after all when she heard him gasp for air, his lips finally leaving the bloodied crook of her arm. He was out of breathe, his chest heaving and his pupils dilated. The blood smearing his mouth made him look feral, but his eyes gave him the allure of a satisfied lover. His gaze seemed to recover their focus when it settled on her face and his expression changed completely. Panic washed over his features as he let out a shaky breath. She vaguely felt his arm wrap around her, pulling her close to him so that her head rested on his chest while his other hand clasped around the wound on her arm. She could hear his heart beat loudly in her ear pressed against his skin. Her own heart wasn't faring much better despite how lethargic she felt.

“I-I’m sorry.” He whispered to her, trying to catch his breath while licking the blood on his lips. “Your magic, it- it tints your blood in a way that I... You're truly a very powerful magician. I-It's quite overwhelming... I'm sorry I-I got carried away..."

She should have had feelings about that. Fear? Anger? Pride? She didn’t feel much beside overwhelming contentment as she nuzzled comfortably against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sypha is NOT the primary owner of their collective brain cell and you cant change my mind. She's just as dumb and reckless as her boys!


	13. Conflicting nature and feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're in for some Alucard introspection because that's ALL this is.

Alucard had _not_ been ready for any of this. 

His arms shook as they held the speaker against him, out of breath and eyes wide. His tongue kept grazing over his fangs and lips, chasing after the ghost taste of Sypha’s blood in his mouth that was already fading. He could feel moisture under his hand, pressed against the small puncture he inflicted on her arm. He took it away, blood no longer pouring out and stared at the mark of fangs on her skin. It felt like a pile of rocks had been dropped in his stomach. Despite the feeling, the blood on his palm sang to him like a siren and he couldn’t resist the urge to bring it to his mouth to lick it off, hands still shaking slightly.

He fought against the greedy hunger in his guts telling him to suck on her arm some more.

He was having a hard time realizing what had just transpired, how it came to this and how an improvised lie had become so out of control that he would now find himself in this situation. 

He had been reckless and shortsighted and for what? Only to gain Trevor’s trust, while in the end it was Sypha that exposed him. Of course she did.

Still he was surprised the man even noticed the change in his well being too, but he should have expected that a vampire hunter would so easily see his weakness and make the connection. He should have considered the problem from the start and worked toward a solution. But no, what did he do? He ignored the situation until it was too late. The shame he felt for his foolishness was even greater than the fact that he had just drank from Sypha…

He had… drank from Sypha…

Why did it feel so wrong? So inappropriate? She had explicitly told him to. If anything, this should have felt more _right_ than any other time he ever fed. But it didn’t. It felt… disrespectful. 

The possibility of feeding from either of his companions had been out of the question since the beginning, mainly because of his lie, but also because it simply didn’t feel right to treat them like… well, like food. Except for the rare times he helped his mother at her clinic, most of his interaction with humans had been short, superficial and usually aimed at glamouring them to feed. It never lasted more than a moment and he never saw them again. Trevor and Sypha, however… 

There was nothing superficial about their time together, as he was now forced to realize.

His connection with them felt more akin to how he interacted with vampires and other creatures of his father’s court than with humans, while still being completely different. They fell somewhere between the two categories, leaving him somewhat confused as to how to deal with it in the long run. He had never felt comfortable with humans because most of the time people could tell _something_ wasn’t right with him. He always needed to hide his true nature carefully or risk causing troubles he had no intention of dealing with. On the other hand, vampires knew exactly what he was. To most, his human heritage was a weakness. To others it was a disgrace and for some it simply made him a curious little thing. Whatever the case, it always tainted his interactions in a way he hated.

Both worlds felt foreign to him, leaving him with the arduous task of navigating both. Keeping up appearances? That was easy enough. Form a genuine connection with either human or vampire? Now felt like the first time he was managing something akin to it. Even then, his inexperience with humans was proving to be a handicap. Was he supposed to treat them like any other human he fed from? He was utterly unable to. Treat them like vampires? The idea was just ridiculous. 

Vampire society was so regulated, bounded in etiquette and social norms. Formalities, protocol, hierarchy, he always found it very tedious compared to how carefree humans appeared. On the surface at least. What happened behind closed doors was always more… improper. Still, it was easier to know your place in it. Of course being the prince of this wicked court had always helped keep things to his advantage, despite the murmurs in the shadows. The stares on him once he had been formally introduced to his father’s entourage and subjects were either of utter disgust or deviant curiosity. On the surface it was always polite and respectful, no vampire would ever be caught being discourteous to Dracula's son, half human or not. Those who loathed him left him alone at least, a mutual relationship of tolerance, nothing more. Then there were those all too eager to see if he was more vampire than human. See if his fangs were as sharp as theirs. ‘ _Oh how I wonder if you taste like a human_ ’, a bold general had once obscenely whispered in his ear, hungry to find out in any way her young lord would see fit. 

It was entertaining, and _educative_ , he would admit that much, but in the end none of it meant anything. Mutual physical attraction, curiosity, naivety, selfishness, all mixed in a liquor that left him with a bitter taste in his mouth and nothing else. He was so young… much too young for any of this, no matter how quickly he grew up or how old he looked. His heritage was a double-edged sword in that aspect, unable to fit in neither human nor vampire standards, and so he had bypassed both for better or worse. Acting as if he was already a full fledged vampire and an adult man even if he was neither of those things back then. 

It wasn’t surprising then that he never felt like he belonged in the vampire court. Everything too fake, too formal on the outside and too indecent on the inside. It was always a troublesome ordeal to navigate around it all, always keeping his facade of mysterious, stoic, unwavering and dominant prince to command the respect he was due, the respect his father expected. But simply being Dracula’s son wasn’t enough. Vampires recognized strength, in its every form, but nothing else. And so he acted the part, no matter how he hated all of it. He didn’t really have a choice, much to his mother’s dismay. She always made a point of not wanting to know what was going on in this part of his life, it probably scared her despite what she tried to let on. 

It was ironic how for him, humans were a lot scarier than any monster or ambitious general of the night court. Vampires were dangerous, but he knew what to expect and knew the social norms governing them. He knew his place in that world. The son of a king. For his mother’s people, he was simply the son of a kind woman, among billions of others. At least until they branded her a witch. Humans were just like that. Chaotic and confusing. How could a race be so bold and fragile at the same time? Eager to do good just as much as evil, the line between the two sometimes so blurred in their head. The duality of their moral compass was scary, every humans so different, every life unique. Whereas vampires all acted under a similar mantle, sometimes resembling a hive mind more than a collection of individuals, humans were just… so different. He had never met a vampire content of simply living on a farm, raising goats. Or making bread. Or taking care of children. Human happiness could be so simple, each of them living its own life according to its own will, each with its own hardships and joys. There was no rule to it, no directive line, no path set in stone. Human life was a complete mess and they seemed happy to revel in it.

His mother used to say the chaotic lives of her kind was exactly what made it all worthwhile and beautiful. Every time his father would remain silent. For him, no humans were like Lisa and she was the exception that allowed them all to continue their useless life. She had tried to keep her son from alienating himself from this part of him. Tried to keep Vlad’s prejudices from poisoning his thoughts as a child. The arduous task of bringing out the humanity in Dracula was still a work in progress for her after all. But as much as she tried to make him bond with humans, tried to take him along to the town near their home so he could play with other children, it never quite worked out. 

The first time he sank his teeth in another boy because of the poor control he had over his impulse as a child, his father was prompt to end all this. How old was he… five? Maybe six. He already looked like a ten years old back then. Dracula forbid any interactions with humans from that moment on, saying that any other incident like this would only put their family in danger. What if the boy he bit went to his parents crying about vampires and monsters? What if said parents believed him and decided to come to their cottage to burn it down, root out evil, as humans were so prone to take justice into their own hands. So prone to burn things and innocent people.

From that moment on, his father took their family back to castlevania and filled his time with lessons. History and combat and magic. It felt like he grew up even faster after that, learning things not even adult humans knew. He was fifteen, already having the appearance he had now by that age, when his father deemed his progress satisfactory enough to go back to their cottage. Allowing him to leave if he wished to blend with humans like Lisa expected. Unfortunately, at this point, the desire to do so had disappeared completely. He visited his mother's clinic a lot, but never managed to find it in himself to mingle with humans like she had so desperately wanted.

Until now.

And again, God was he not ready for it. 

Sypha and Trevor crawled under his skin a bit more everyday, every night as he stood watch over their sleep. Humans were so prone to… dying stupidly. Watching them fight day after day made his heart jump whenever they were in too much trouble. He tried to rationalize it when he found himself worrying over them in battle. Thinking he needed them to defeat his father, end of story. While that was true, it didn’t explain everything else he felt or did. He had gone out of his way for Trevor, because his sorrow had gotten to him in a way he didn’t expect. He may have taken pity on him at first, but he grew to respect the man for what he really was. Hidden under years of ravage from life and himself, Trevor Belmont was nothing if not an honest, good man down to his very core. No amount of pain and despair had managed to take this away from him, despite what he tried to let on. He could still feel his heart beating stupidly in his chest when he thought of today, of Trevor offering him animal blood as an apology like the complete doofus that he is or remembering the way he smiled and thanked him in Gresit after making medicine for him. When he smiled, a real legitimate one and not that shit eating smirk of his, it betrayed just how good of a heart he had. That god forsaken smile had more effect on him than he ever wanted to admit.

He didn’t need Trevor to like him in order to succeed in their mission. He didn’t need his smile. So then why would he seek this acceptance from him? Why would he make a point of committing each of his genuine smiles to memory?

Why would he stare so blatantly in awe at Sypha as she unleashed elemental chaos on hordes of demons, as she told stories of her people around the fire or simply as she sewed the torn sleeve of Trevor’s tunic, complaining he had done a ‘horrendous job’ sewing it himself? Why would he find himself staring at her so fondly no matter what she did, no matter how menial the task. Why would he drink every word she said and feel so at peace whenever they had any kind of conversation, from complicated magic theories to casual light talk? Why would he care so much about her opinion of him? Revel in this validation she gave him, treating him just like any other man and not a monster. Why was every particle of his being imploding on itself whenever she smiled at him in a way only she could do, as if her entire face was smiling too. As if her eyes physically lit up with her happiness. What if he loved seeing her happy so much he found himself wishing she wasn’t part of this at all? What if all his instincts screamed at him to protect her from what they were setting out to do? 

Why did he care so much about two humans, among millions of others, that he had just met a few weeks back? Exceptional humans, that he had shed blood with and shared pain with, but still just breakable, mortal humans. What were they even to him? Two animals that would be long dead when he reached his 100th anniversary still without a wrinkle on his features? Had his father not shown in too great detail how pointless it was to care for a human? That it would only bring him misery and heartache in the end? Was this whole apocalypse not the result of such foolish sentiment? 

Why had his father, the oldest, coldest thing on this earth, cared so much for his human wife despite knowing the pain he was buying for himself? Did she crawl under his skin too? Did she make him care so much about seeing her smile that he made it his life goal to always keep her happy? Because despite the fact that she was just a frail human, despite common sense, he had loved her with every fiber of his being, of that he was as sure as the sun rises in the east.

Did he love Sypha in a way that made him care about her as much as his father had cared about his mother? Did Trevor’s smile have the same effect on him as his mother’s had on his father?

Fuck. He was not ready for those thoughts, but they kept invading his mind despite his best efforts to suppress them. Now was not the time to get attached to humans. Now. After years of ignoring them. Of course, only now would he find not only one, but two of them he couldn’t help but care about. Two humans he was now leading into Dracula’s claws, for better or worse... 

His mind was assaulted by two lifeless bodies at his father’s feet and the image almost made him vomit every ounce of blood he had just ingested. Living through it is just a luxury, wasn’t it what Trevor said when they met? He had respected the statement back then, acknowledging the hunter’s resolve even if it stemmed from carelessness. Now he found himself wishing it wasn’t such a luxury. His own death didn’t scare him, or so he liked to think, but the idea of his two companions dying on this quest was… it filled him with rage. 

A rage, he supposed, similar to the rage his father had felt upon coming back to their cottage a year ago, perhaps?

He hated the comparison, but his mind brought it up anyway. 

Fortunately, Sypha interrupted his inner turmoil as she stirred in his arms, slowly coming to her senses. She carefully opened her eyes, steadying herself with her hands to the ground to push herself off Alucard. In the end she remained where she was, pressed against him, his arms around her, and he felt the guilt swirl in his stomach again. She moved so slowly, obviously still very light headed from the blood she had lost and, well, the bite itself. It was as if suddenly he realized what he had done. He had bitten her and she had let him. She had invited him to. It went against everything he believed in about humans and vampires and feeding and just… everything.

Vampire bites were brutal most of the time. So invasive that it could severe the victim’s head easily and even if it didn’t, they rarely survived the initial attack. But if done with care, slowly, with no intent to kill, it could be extremely enjoyable. A predatory trait he supposed, to have something in his saliva that acts as a poison in the same way alcohol does and keeps the person docile and content. Unbearable agony or pleasant bliss, there was no in between. Most vampires don’t care if their victim is kept submissive under them, they prefer the thrill of a struggling prey, and usually only bite other vampires in this way for pleasure. Biting was so _always_ involved, at least in his experience, it was just downright cliché at this point. But when someone tells you to bite them in the throes of pleasure, you do as you’re told without question, especially when you’re a young, impressionable half breed eager to prove that he belongs where he is. 

When a human tells you to bite them to feed, you ask yourself a lot of questions. Sypha had compelling arguments, or so he told himself, instead of accepting the fact that he had _really_ wanted to bite her the moment she brought it up. Of course he wasn’t going to bite her the other agonizing way, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to feel very self conscious about it all. He always bit like this, but the person was always under his control, never remembering it fully. Sypha was the first human he had ever bitten while still being very much conscious of what was happening. It made the situation both uncomfortable and all too enticing at the same time. Maybe that’s why he felt like none of this was right. Because biting someone who was willing was… 

It should be reserved for a more intimate setting. And not with a human… 

She looked up at him with a shy smile, hugging her arm to herself. "T-That was… interesting?"

A sudden chuckle escaped him, making him smile despite himself. The tension in the air fell, as if pushed away by her voice. “Leave it to a speaker to find a vampire bite ‘interesting’ and not ‘terrifying’.”

“There was really nothing terrifying about it. On the contrary. You were right, it was rather pleasant.” The flush of her face would have remained unnoticed had he not been able to see so well in the dark. He opted to divert the conversation as quickly as possible to prevent a similar shade from rising to his own cheeks. He should have been releasing his hold on her now, but since she wasn’t moving he… didn’t feel like moving either. 

“How do you feel? I might have taken a bit too much from you, I’m sorry.”

“I-I’m fine.” She replied quickly, cupping her own cheek with her cold hand and looking down at her arm. “Just a bit dizzy. I suppose you must have been really hungry, uh?”

“No, it has more to do with the fact that your blood is not quite normal.”

“Oh? So I’m special then, am I?” She replied in a mocking tone, almost giggling. 

"Yes, you are.” He almost stopped his sentence there, only realizing how awkward it sounded after he said it and so he continued. “I mean, your magic shows in your blood. I should have expected it, but it’s not like I’ve ever drink from a magician before. And you are… a very powerful one. It took me by surprise, it overwhelmed me and I didn’t stop when I should have. I’m truly sorry.”

Granted, it had been a while since he fed. Fed from a living person and not a canister of blood? He hadn’t since he went to sleep a year ago. The feeling of pushing his fangs into warm flesh was always more staggering, waking up this somber part of him he always tried to smother. But even then, bloodlust was not something he experienced often. He did when he was a child, or when he was so heavily wounded that his instinct ordered him to feed in the most vicious way, as he had been after his father attacked him. But a few moments ago, he had just been hungry, nothing more.

So the way he lost his inhibitions when Sypha’s blood coated his tongue had been a surprise, to say the least. 

If he hadn’t known the speaker was a magician, it would have been impossible to hide now. The primal energy inhabiting her body was like a spice in her blood. It sparkled on his tongue and made the hair on the nape of his neck stand on end. It was electrifying and mesmerizing and he had never felt so much power in someone’s blood. It bubbled up in his head and captivated his senses so utterly that he found himself drinking heavily like a drunkard. If she hadn’t tugged at his coat to catch his attention, he would have kept drinking as if his life depended on it. He wanted to believe he would have stopped before it was too late, otherwise what would it say about him and his self proclaimed control?

He found himself wondering what Trevor's blood would taste like. Would his lineage show, making it special both in power and flavor? Was it consecrated in a way that would burn him from the inside in a holy retribution for daring to bite a Belmont?

His heart started beating faster just from the thought and it scared him. 

“Oh don’t look so sheepish now.” Sypha said, bringing him out of his inappropriate speculations. “You’ll make me feel bad for forcing you into this.”

“You didn’t force me.” He replied quickly. “It was very kind of you, and I can’t express just how much it means to me that you would offer me this. Thank you…” A simple thank you didn’t seem enough for what she had just done. “If you don’t feel well, be sure to tell me. Blood loss is not something to take lightly.”

“I can take it, don’t worry about me. More importantly, are _you_ feeling better at least?”

“Oh yes.” The enthusiasm in his voice surprised even himself. She beamed at him before looking away shyly and clearing her throat.

“If you need more-”

“I do not. Thank you.” He cut her off before she could finish her sentence. “Not for a while.”

She almost looked disappointed. She finally pushed herself off him, slowly, and he reluctantly removed his arms from around her. “Well, you’re feeling better, it’s all that matters. I’m glad I could help you. But no more of this now, right? No more lies! If something is wrong, I expect you to tell me from now on!”

“Of course.” He said without hesitation, bowing his head. “I’m sorry, again. I swear I will not lie to you again.”

“And Trevor?”

“... What about him?”

“You will tell him, right?”

“I-”

His words died in his throat. 

“Alucard.” Her tone carried the weight of a warning and her eyes on him only emphasized it. “You _have_ to tell him.”

“And how do you expect this to go?” He narrowed his eyes at her. He had hoped to have gotten away from that conversation earlier...

“I don’t care how it goes!” She whispered loudly. “You want me to lie to him and pretend like nothing is going on? You’re going to need blood again, won’t you? I don’t mind sharing mine, I really don’t, but do you really think he won’t notice? Do you really think we can hide this from him, Alucard?”

His gaze was drawn to the caravan behind her, only to make sure Trevor was still asleep inside. “It’s not that easy. It will only cause unnecessary problems-”

“You’re just going to make up excuses until it’s too late…”

“Sypha, look at how _you_ reacted. You assumed the worst, rightly so, but I could talk to you. Explain myself. You think Belmont will let me utter even a word before he cracks his whip at me?” He pointed out. “You think I’ll be able to have a polite conversation with him about this without him trying to stake me on the spot? What good would it do? I don’t...” His erratic breathing was making it difficult for him to form fluid sentences, his thoughts and fear bumping into each other in his head. He took a deep breath before looking away from her, nervously running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t want things to go back the way they were when this all started. The distrust, the hollow threats, this anger he held. I don’t want to lose what little I’ve managed to gain…”

Sypha stared at him for what seemed like an eternity, her features impassable. Finally her shoulders dropped and she let out a heavy sigh. “I understand. I don’t want you two to go back to how you were when we met either. To have you at each other’s throat all the time, we’ll never defeat your father in that state.” She looked away with a clenched jaw, pulling her black sleeve up her arm and letting it disappear under her blue robe. “But this will not end well Alucard. The sooner you tell him the better. You’ll lose a lot more than his trust if he learns about it in any way other than you telling him. He’s trusting you now. A lot. Enough to sleep while you stand watch over him.”

“I know…” He whispered, eyes closed and head bowed. He knew all that. It didn’t make it any easier to act accordingly. 

“No you don’t.” He felt her hesitantly place her hand on his shoulder. “Did you ever notice that Trevor always sleeps with a dagger? At least when he doesn’t pass out in a drunken stupor. All the time we were in Gresit, his hand constantly rested against the handle of a knife under his pillow. He almost stabbed one of the speakers who came to wake him up once.”

Alucard frowned back at her in confusion, but remained silent as she continued with a sad smile. 

“He doesn’t anymore.” She said softly. “Because he’s found it in himself to trust us enough to sleep in our presence. Do you even realize what it means for a man like him? To consciously allow himself a moment of vulnerability like this?”

He turned away from her, knowing exactly what she meant. It only made the guilt grow tenfold inside him. It was probably the entire point of her words...

“You have to tell him the truth Alucard. The more you wait, the more difficult this will be.”

He still refused to look at her, lips pressed into a thin line. She was right, he knew she was. “I… I will try.” Was all he managed to say. 

The hand on his shoulder gently slid off him and she sighed deeply. “Well, who am I to tell you what to do? You’re an adult.”

“I feel more like an infant right now.” He admitted. Sypha’s opinion on the matter was more than welcomed. Even if everything she said was so obvious he really shouldn’t need it to see how wrong what he was doing was. 

“Well then you and Trevor have no reason not to get along. He’s an impudent child most of the time.” She said with a quiet laugh that was so contagious he smiled back. He hadn’t smiled that much since… a long time ago. 

She moved to turn away and get to her feet, only to stagger and fall back. Alucard moved to catch her, holding her against him gently and embarrassed at how he used it as an excuse just to touch her again. 

“O-oh okay. A-Alright. You were not kidding when you said you took a lot.” She said as she put her hand to her forehead, closing her eyes and holding unto him with her other hand. “I feel drunk…”

“No, I was not kidding. You should go back to sleep and eat something. Drink too.”

“Alright Doctor Tepes.” She laughed as she patted him on the chest. She steadied herself, managing to stay on her two feet without his help after a few minutes.“I-I’m fine now. Sleeping sounds good. ”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

“Yes.” She reassured him for the millionth time. “You’ll be the first to know if I’m not alright, don’t worry.” 

She patted him twice on the chest affectionately again as she smiled, forcing him to smile back with a nod. She managed to walk back to the caravan and climb back in carefully, leaving him alone in the clearing with his thoughts and his cheeks burning embarrassingly…

Maybe this was fine. Wasn’t this what his mother wanted? For him to blend with humans, his people as much as hers? What would she think of this? Of how he felt? 

She would probably tell him the same thing Sypha had just told him. To stop lying. If he really did care about them, he needed to act like it. Why was it so hard? Why was it so hard to act honestly, especially with Trevor. The man simply had this effect on him, probably because of all this time they spent antagonizing each other. Probably because deep down he knew the hunter still had very mixed feelings about their coexistence, despite his obvious efforts at making peace. No matter if Trevor would never believe him, Alucard couldn’t deny that he cared. He cared about him, and Sypha, like he had never cared for any human beside his mother.

How ironic that he would care so much about the two humans most likely to die in the near future…

* * *

Trevor kept his eyes closed and his breathing as steady as he could manage when Sypha climbed back into the wagon. He recognized the sound of movements from someone bent on not being heard. He remained completely still even as she laid down next to him, slowly, with deliberate movement as to not disturb him. 

This whole adventure was just surprise after surprise, wasn’t it? When he entered Gresit, the last thing he expected was to walk out with a speaker magician and the son of Dracula himself. He didn’t expect to find it in himself to develop a relationship of somewhat mutual respect with said vampire, and yet here they were. He didn’t expect anything that happened since that fateful day, to be honest, but this was just the cherry on top of it all. Alucard and Sypha getting all cozy together in the middle of the night? He sure as hell didn't see that one coming...

He had woken up from one of his usual nightmares; old ghost haunting him, past mistakes nagging him, an incomprehensible mixture of vivid memories and fear-deformed future assaulting his much too sober mind. The heat of Sypha’s back against his own was always a reassuring feeling whenever he woke up in a sweat, even if he would never admit it. So when he woke up cold, turning only to find an empty space beside him, his heart almost burst out of his rib cage in panic. 

He had heard Alucard’s voice outside, unable to discern the words. He didn’t know why he acted so carefully instead of just barging out of the cart to see where Sypha was. No instead he hesitantly pushed the covering aside to look in the clearing, only to see two figures practically melting into each other. It took a moment for him to realize the two lovebirds were his companions and not some travelers who just happened to cuddle in their camp. He remained in the cart for what seemed like an eternity, just watching them, for much longer than was probably considered polite. But he just couldn’t help it. It just took him by surprise so much…

When Sypha let go of the vampire he put the cover back in place, scared that they might notice him. He strained his ears to understand what they talked about with no luck. He could hear them laugh, ushering God knows what. He caught some words here and there, but not enough to piece back together a conversation, until Sypha whispered loudly ‘I don’t care how it goes’. He concentrated even more on trying to hear the rest of her words, understanding something that sounded like ‘pretend like nothing is going on’ and ‘do you really think we can hide this from him?’. 

Didn’t take a genius to do the math there.

He had collapsed back into the fur of his coat with a small grunt and pretended to sleep until Sypha entered the wagon. 

He shouldn’t be so surprised, all things considered. Sypha and Alucard had a lot in common, always gushing together about books and magic and what not. They had gotten along almost from the start. He could understand the appeal, obviously the vampire was a beautiful man… or half man, anyway. And not an idiot, so bonus points for being a cultured, intellectual prick he supposed. Shouldn’t be a surprise that Alucard would fancy human women either, considering where he himself came from.

Great. That was just… great. 

He tried smothering this feeling rising in his guts. Not that he was jealous or… well, not really. Maybe. Maybe a little. Putting names on emotions he felt was not something he enjoyed doing, but that was probably the right word for it. Not that he had hoped… alright, maybe he did thought that _maybe_ Sypha and he were… developing something?

It was probably just the fact that she was one of the rare women he had ever interacted with while being completely sober. Who actually seemed to care about him as a person. And that she was beautiful and strong and fucking scary and alright, he had weak knees for girls who could kill him if they so wished! That was probably a Belmont thing, considering the woman his father had married. 

In the end it was probably better like this. She was much too good for him anyway, he would only feel like he was staining her with his filth if he ever touched her. But Alucard? Well, he was a proper gentleman if one could get past the fang. Apparently Sypha didn’t mind those. 

So what if they found solace in each other? Good for them. There was a time when he would have feared for Sypha, but he was done being suspicious of Alucard now. He had apologized and he promised himself he would stop acting like an asshole based on absolutely nothing. Beside, Sypha was an adult who made her own choices. And who could blame her really? Even he would have fallen for Alucard’s charm, had it been directed at him. The blond was a goddamn vision, everything about him too perfect and elegant to be true. He had never been very picky about who he bedded. Men, women; he followed whoever was willing to warm him for the night and make him forget himself, if only for a moment. Most of the time he was too inebriated to care anyway. But he could say without a doubt that none of the man he had laid with came close to being as alluring as the vampire sitting outside right now.

So who was he jealous of here, exactly? 

Probably both. 

God that was even more pathetic. What he felt wasn’t jealousy. It was yearning, plain and simple. Yearning for what exactly he wasn’t quite sure but fucking hell it was making him feel like shit… 

None of this was his business. They had a job to do and he wasn’t going to be distracted by this. If Alucard and Sypha wanted to forget themselves with one another, who was he to judge? Considering their situation, they might as well get the most out of it. As long as they didn’t fuck in his face, he couldn’t care less…

...Right?

Right... 

Sypha fell asleep very quickly next to him and he refrained from pressing his back against her like he usually did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just... can't let them be at peace. I can't. Also you can pry the "Adrian-broody teenager in an adult body-Tepes" trope from my cold dead hands.


	14. Misunderstanding, for better or worse

All things considered, Trevor  _ did _ care a great fucking deal about this new development. A development he was less than ready to deal with.

That's the conclusion he was forced to draw while laying down stiff as a brick, awake and alert like a watchdog, for the rest of the night. He had been utterly unable to find sleep again and his restlessness wasn’t his usual kind of insomnia. While he normally tried with all his might to sleep only to have his body betray him and refuse to fall, right now, no part of him was set on sleeping whatsoever. He was too busy thinking. Thinking and imagining things and asking questions with no answers while another part of his brain just kept calling him an idiot for even bothering with all this bullshit. 

He sighed heavily, tightening his coat around him as he watched the cloud forming out of his mouth into the cold autumn air. Winter was over, but the wind still carried a chill that made it seem like they were still in the middle of it, even inside their wagon. 

He’d normally have his own personal little furnace pressed against his back. 

Right now said furnace was curled up in a ball, hugging herself tightly on her side of the cart and shivering from the cold. Sypha had just fallen asleep right where she fell when she came back into the cart tonight, on top of all the blankets like a fool and out like a light in record time even for her. How she was able to sleep anywhere, anytime, in any position was beyond him. Sure, he slept anywhere too, but only when he was so exhausted his mind and body didn’t have a choice anymore. Their cart could catch fire and he wasn’t entirely sure Sypha would even wake up until the flames started burning her hair. 

He lay on his back with his head turned toward her, watching the back of her head and trying very hard to stop assuming all kinds of unsavory things. That’s pretty much what he had been doing all night. Really he was doing an  _ amazing  _ job extrapolating from what he had seen in the clearing tonight. He turned the situation in his head again and again while  _ trying _ , mostly in vain,  _ not  _ to conjure up all kinds of images of Sypha and fang boy secretly going at it since they were in Gresit, to the point where he couldn’t tell what was true and what was just the result of his crazy imagination. He kept repeating to himself that maybe he was just jumping to conclusion. What had he really seen out there anyway? 

He had seen Sypha and Alucard... cuddling? Whatever that implied. They weren’t having sex anyway, despite what his overworking creativity tried to envision. He did hear Sypha say "hide this from him" however.  _ Him _ obviously being Trevor. You don't make sure to hide things unless said things are indecent. Plus the intimacy of the scene was overwhelming enough to make him feel like a total creep for watching them. Maybe because Alucard usually was so cold and distant, the contrast had been like a slap in the face. He never associated the vampire with tenderness or this kind of soft affection he was displaying back there. Holding the speaker like she was some precious little kitten. The sight of the two of them in such a warm embrace caught him completely off guard in itself, but Alucard showing such a gentle side of him is what threw him off completely in how genuine it looked.

It only served to highlight how little he actually knew of the guy. What he thought he knew stemmed from prejudices and bad first impression. He expected him to act and think a certain way, because he was a vampire and because he carried himself with an air that emphasized it. But the man he had seen just now was nothing like the man he thought he knew. Probably because he was away from prying eyes.  _ Trevor’s eyes _ , in this case. Was Alucard purposely acting in this way, this ‘ _ I am a broody vampire with no emotions and I do not like you but will tolerate your presence and work with you since it is the right thing to do and I am a beacon of morality to compensate for my dark heritag _ e’ kind of way, because he didn’t trust Trevor enough to show him who he really was? To act vulnerable? To show an ounce of weakness in front of a vampire hunter?

Well, he couldn’t really blame him. Their first days of coexistence had been turbulent for sure. Of fucking course Alucard wouldn’t trust him after everything. After he himself made it very clear that he wasn’t trusting the vampire either. But he had worked through that, through his own trust issues. It was just hard to actually  _ show _ it. 

He was still banging his head on an imaginary wall thinking about his poor attempt at an apology yesterday. That was so fucking dumb and awkward, he was such an idiot. Hopefully the message got through anyway? That he didn’t hate him? That he wanted to trust him?

He was forced to admit his own shortcomings in all this. He knew Sypha trusted Alucard. From the start she did. He simply hadn’t realized just  _ how much  _ she did. He had been such a dumbass to think he might need to protect her from him at some point. Alucard had proven to be a lot more human than what Trevor tried to convince himself of and more of a gentleman than all the men he ever met in his life combined, himself included. He couldn't help but wonder when this whole little secret affair started. They had done a pretty good job hiding it from him until now, that’s for sure. Or maybe it was recent? 

He’d love to say that he didn’t care about any of it, because again it was none of his business, but it would be a big fat lie that he couldn’t make himself believe. He cared a whole lot despite not wanting to and it was eating him from the inside. But why the fuck did he care so much about something so trivial, when he obviously should be concentrating on the matter of saving the fucking world?

Was he jealous of them for sharing something that he was not part of? For being able to care for one another in this way? Show affection in a way he had never been comfortable with? Hold each other with a love that felt foreign to him? 

Why was he even mixing love into this now? 

Oh God, what if they actually loved each other? What if this wasn’t just a comfort thing? What if they really were in _ love _ ? Stomach twisting love. What the fuck then?

He refused to follow that line of thought. He preferred thinking this was all just a physical thing. Because that he could understand.  _ That _ he could deal with. But love? This wasn’t a goddamn fairy tale. Love was a fragile little summer flower trying to grow in a frozen pile of shit, even more so in the literal apocalypse. There was no place for love in this cesspool his country had become. Only escapism from the harsh reality by using each other selfishly. Or was that just his own bitter experience, hooking up with strangers he never gave a shit about?

Maybe that’s what he was jealous of.  _ The caring. _

He didn’t like the idea. He preferred to think he was just jealous of Alucard for finding his way under Sypha’s robe. Hell, he’d rather think he was jealous of Sypha for getting into those sinfully too tight leather pants! Because yeah, he was a monster, but God strike him where he lay if he wasn’t the prettiest monster he’d ever seen. All vampires were handsome, or at least charismatic in a way that made them appealing to humans. But Alucard was just the cake, the icing and the cherry all in one bite. 

Those were all just basic urges and lustful thoughts that he would never act on. Like looking at someone across the tavern imagining a bunch of nasty things, but knowing very well nothing would ever happen. Likewise, it was inevitable when walking around the same people for so long so closely that at some point you’d think "what if", right? Doesn't have to mean anything. Thoughts were just thoughts and they were just easily triggered when the right setting was in place. In this case, the right setting being his two companions lovingly embracing each other in the moonlight. Maybe he was just a fucking pervert for having his mind go down the gutter from what was really a pretty innocent display of tenderness. Or maybe it had just been way too long since he had a good romp… 

But that was all just his dick talking. It didn’t mean anything. He knew not to care about what his dick wanted, especially when he wasn’t shit faced. Drunk Trevor tended to listen to it a lot more...

The voice in his head now was very much his own cold sober voice, telling him he cared about this new situation considerably, but refusing to give him any insight on fucking  _ why _ . So the neglected desires low in his belly provided the answer: you're jealous of not getting laid too.

What else could it be?

He grunted loudly, smacking his face with his hand as he noticed the soft blue light of dawn piercing through the small holes scattered across the cloth covering their cart. 

Fuck he needed a drink... 

The thought only made him groan inside his hand again. 

The craving for some mud over his mind and a burning sensation down his throat was overwhelming right now, for the first time in days. A craving for what he knew would be a moment of respite from _ feeling  _ so goddamn much. 

And fuck was he feeling way too many things these days.

He sat up in defeat, deciding to get up and find something to do instead of just laying there like a melodramatic moron. He sure as hell wouldn’t find sleep again before they continued their journey. A journey that sounded a lot more awkward and unpleasant now. It was a shame really, because he was just starting to feel comfortable in this weird little company of misfits. 

He reached inside a bag next to him, his hand blindly searched for the glass vials of medicine wrapped in pieces of clothes to protect them from shattering. Alucard told him that disgusting leaf juice would help him sleep and lessen physical symptoms, but wouldn’t do much to help with the cravings. Trevor found it did help actually, but Alucard called it a… pluh-see-boh effect? Whatever. Right now, he felt like he needed it. Hopefully he wasn’t just replacing an addiction with another one… 

Booze was easy to get your hands on. Secret science weed mixtures made by vampires? Not so much. The idea of being dependent on something only Alucard knew how to make was scary in itself. 

He still grabbed one with a hurried hand.

Trevor made his way to the end of the cart, tightening his cloak around him and carefully avoiding any noise that could inadvertently disturb Sypha’s sleep, despite how downright impossible it was to wake that tree stump by accident. Still, the last thing he needed right now was idle conversation with her while pretending his mind wasn’t imploding on itself, so he tried to be careful.

He was about to get out of the wagon but instead looked back at her one last time. She looked horribly uncomfortable, teeth clattering and her whole body shaking like a leaf because of the cold. Stupid girl, sleeping  _ on top _ of all their fucking blankets...

A deep sigh escaped him as he put down his vial of special magical tea and took his coat off his shoulder. He moved to the speaker and gently placed it on top of her, tucking her in like his nursemaid would put him to bed as a kid. Or at least tried to. He was a stubborn piece of shit who always refused to sleep like a reasonable person. He had always been the most turbulent, the most defiant. The runt of the litter who refused to do what he was told just because he could. Sneaking out of his room at night to play in the forest until birdsong warned him that he had to go back home. Then he wondered why he couldn’t keep his eyes open during lessons and blamed it on the boring tutor like the cocky brat he was. 

God he’d give anything to cash in all those lost hours of safe sleep he had forsaken as a child… 

Sypha stirred and turned on her back. For a moment he feared he had woken her up, but no, she was still sleeping like an exhausted toddler and he couldn’t help but smile at it. How he wished his sleep was just as hardly disturbed. If someone tried to move him in his sleep, said person would find themselves with a knife in their throat pretty quickly out of reflex alone. He supposed sleep awareness wasn’t necessary when you slept with ten other people you trusted in a caravan constantly. Still, he couldn’t help but find it… adorable.

And endearing.

And… _ disarming _ .

She moaned softly, burying her head in the fur of his cloak, getting comfortable like a cat snuggling in your lap. She sighed in contentment and he heard a faint, mumbled ‘thank you’ passing her lips in her sleep.

Trevor grunted again, looking away from the much too precious speaker that was making his own brain betray him by making his body hot with fondness against his will…

He needed to get out of here. 

He snatched the glass vial on his way out of the cart and the moment the cold wind hit his face, he immediately regretted leaving his cloak with Sypha. A deep shiver coursed through him when his boots hit the ground and he cursed under his breath.

Then his eyes settled on the vampire further away, who was looking at him with a raised brow, and he froze in place.

Shit. Right. There was just no being alone here, was it? Trading a sleeping Sypha for Alucard wasn’t his best move…

The blond simply nodded at him before returning his attention to the forest around the clearing. Did he really spent every night in the cold and dark like this? He was almost in the exact same position as when he saw him with Sypha. The memories hit him with full force, seeing the two of them right there before him. He had half a mind to just climb back in the wagon without a word, but that wouldn’t help his case any now would it? He looked away from Alucard to stare at his medicine instead. Stare at the shaking hand holding it that wouldn’t stop because of the cold shivers wracking his body. Prying the cork away with his teeth, he downed the liquid in one go before throwing the empty bottle back in the cart carelessly. He couldn’t keep the expression of disgust from washing over his face. Fuck that tasted horrible. 

“You’re not supposed to down it like you used to swallow entire taverns.” Alucard commented, still not looking at him. “It’s medicine, not mead.”

“Could have fooled me, with how wonderful it tastes.” He mumbled back, trying not to let the cold shake his voice. 

“I’m serious. You’ll ruin the effects if you drink too much too often.”

“Yes Doctor Tepes.” Trevor replied in an overly dramatic sigh as he reached for firewood in the wagon. 

He walked to the dead fire pit in front of Alucard, doing his best to ignore his presence altogether. Apparently that’s what he was aiming for too, letting Trevor build his fire in silence without so much as a glance. After some difficulty, he managed to light it and settled down with his hands hovering near to warm up. 

“Winter is over it shouldn’t be so fucking cold.” He muttered, more to himself than to Alucard, but the other man felt the need to respond anyway.

“It barely ended, I wouldn’t be surprised if it snowed in the next few days still.” He commented idly, like making light conversation with the baker while waiting for your order. He didn’t know why but it really got on his nerves for some reason. Alucard glanced back at him with a frown. “Don’t you have a hideous winter cloak to remedy such a problem?”

“I left it on Sypha. She was cold.”

“We have blankets.”

“She fell asleep on them.” 

“All of them?”

“Yeah, didn’t want to wake her up to move them. She looked pretty tired, must have had trouble sleeping last night maybe.” Because you kept her up doing God knows what right here you big idiot. He didn’t say that last part out loud though. 

Alucard looked away without any comment, but the hidden meaning of his words obviously had the desired effect because the blond positively looked self conscious. But he didn’t say anything about it. 

Did Trevor even wanted to confront either of them on the matter? Or was it simpler to just pretend like he was still in the dark? Neither option felt very appealing, but he supposed it was none of his business. He really kept repeating that to himself, didn’t he? Because it was true and he was having a hard time acting on those words. 

But hell, if they didn’t want him to know, then fine. He’ll just pretend like nothing is going on and leave them in their fake little bubble of privacy until they can’t hide it anymore. Then he’ll pretend to act surprised, or maybe reveal that he knew all along because he is oh so perceptive. 

Something like that…

He chanced a glance at Alucard and caught him staring at him, with an expression of worry and an unexpected air of unease about him. He looked away just as quickly, but it left Trevor perplexed. Was Alucard _ that _ worried about Trevor finding out? Well, maybe he was scared of his reaction. Scared that he might… what? Disagree? Be angry? Be jealous? Try to protect Sypha’s ‘ _ honor _ ’ with a crack of the whip?

Maybe that was it. Did Alucard distrust him that much that he thought it best if he didn’t know, because he expected his reaction to be violent?

Urg. Why did that make him feel like such a dick?

The silence that followed was uncomfortable, drowned in the unspoken secret that lingered around them. The low fire reflected on Alucard’s skin in a way that made him look more alive, more warm, more human. For the first time Trevor took the time to really look at him, under this new light, under this new image he had of him since last night. He could see the difference in the flush of his cheek, realizing just how bad he looked yesterday, starved of blood for so long. He looked so young to him in that moment, he couldn’t say why, but he found himself wondering how old he really was. Probably not much older than he was himself, considering how young his mother was. It struck him, for an unknown reason, just how much he didn’t know about him. The delicate glow of dawn on his features along with the intensity of the fire reflecting in his honeyed eyes seemed to accentuate the duality of his existence. Both human and monster in a world that could be so unforgiving to both. For the first time since they met, he stopped to wonder just what this young ethereal being could be feeling about this whole journey and prophecy and whatnot. A youth who had defied his father, the lord of darkness himself, because he didn’t agree with him. It dawn on him suddenly, just how much  _ balls _ it took for him to do such a thing. And yet right here, right now, Alucard appeared so… normal. Devoid of this intimidating, occult aura he usually had, or maybe he was just able to see past it. Maybe now he was  _ willing  _ to see past it. He looked simply tensed. Apprehensive. Uncomfortable. Young. Just… 

Very human. 

Not so different from how he probably appeared himself and the realization made him want to reach out, somehow. Reach out to someone who had helped him a lot, all things considered. He had done a poor job reciprocating the concern Alucard had shown him...

He cleared his throat before speaking, moving to sit cross legged. “You um… you’re looking good. I mean, better. Than yesterday. All that blood really did you some good uh?”

The statement seemed to catch the vampire off guard and he saw his body tense. His head snapped toward Trevor quickly, blinking and eyes slightly wide. “I’m sorry?”

“The blood I gave you. Yesterday. Do you feel better now?” He repeated awkwardly. 

“Oh. Y-yes I… Thank you again.”

“Don’t mention it. Just don’t starve yourself again like that you hear? Last thing we need is a hungry vampire. Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Trevor asked as he poked the fire with a branch. He tried to keep the conversation flowing, tried to make it as normal as he could. To think and talk about anything but what he had been thinking for a good chunk of the night. 

“I can survive without blood. It’s not an issue.”

“It’s an issue if even  _ I _ can tell something’s wrong.”

“Yes, well, I’m fine now.”

“Will you be fine until we reach our destination? I can hunt again-”

“No.” Alucard interrupted his sentence abruptly before clearing his throat. “No, it’s fine. I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”

“I’m not worried.” He denied just as abruptly, shrugging in a vain attempt to appear disinterested. “I just don’t want you to… you know…” Again, the vampire simply raised a confused eyebrow at him, forcing him to continue his train of thought toward an unclear destination. What was he even trying to say here? “We’re in this together. If something’s wrong, I expect you to tell us. To trust us.” He wanted to say ‘trust me’ but that would have been much too obvious. “I um… I know my execution was lacking, but I really meant what I told you yesterday. There was no reason for me to treat you the way I did. I was stupid. I  _ can _ not be a dickhead, I promise...”

“Well, we  _ are _ natural enemies. I never expected us to… ” He stumbled uncharacteristically and Trevor couldn’t repress a laugh at his word, interrupting him. 

“Natural enemies my ass. Have you ever even killed a man?”

The question made him straighten his back and narrow his eyes at the hunter. He replied hesitantly. “No, I haven’t.”

“Then you’re less of a monster than me, so let’s forget about all that ‘natural enemies’ and ‘monster bad humans good’ bullshit.” 

It was Alucard’s turn to laugh softly, eyes closed and smiling almost shyly. It was a nice change from the conceited sneer he usually aimed at him. “Ah. So you  _ can _ learn after all?”

“Yeah, I can learn.” He repeated, awkwardly rubbing the stumbles on his cheeks and looking away. He lowered his voice, as if it would make his statement sound less like some kind of confession. Like the admittance to a fault. Like an apology,  _ again. _ Which it totally was. Like saying ‘sorry it took me so long to stop acting like an ass.’ “It just takes me… more time than most to learn some things.” Is what came out of his mouth instead. He shrugged, inhaling sharply to try and calm down his nerves and diverting the conversation into jest and self deprecating humor as a defense mechanism. “Because apparently I’m somewhat of an idiot.”

Alucard scoffed and shook his head, replying with a glint of amusement. “Only somewhat. You have your moment of brilliance Trevor. Sometimes.”

Oh? So he was Trevor now? He couldn’t remember the man ever calling him by his given name ever. It left him smiling dumbly at the fire before him. 

Maybe things weren’t so bad between them afterall? Maybe it wasn’t so bad that he and Sypha were…  _ sharing things _ . Alcuard was a good man, with conviction, the will to fight for what was right and a heart in the right place. A vampire, sure, but only half of one. With no vampiric characteristic other than eating his steak extra rare, pointy teeth, innate magic powers and alluring inhuman beauty… 

He _ really _ couldn’t blame Sypha for falling for  _ that. _

He pushed his thought away, coughing stiffly as he rubbed his arms to warm himself. “We’ll have to leave soon. We’re almost at the estate. There should be… one more settlement left on the road. I don’t know if it’ll still be alive though. Didn’t see much monsters in these parts, so maybe there are still some folks up there.” He shivered, both from the cold and the memories of the little hamlet near his childhood home. He had no intention of sticking around that place. Nothing but bad memories associated with it, just like the scene of the Belmont manor ruins was sure to be as well. He had no choice but to ram through those, but that didn’t mean he had to confront all his traumatic souvenirs at once on this journey. That shithole of a town was high on the list of places he never wanted to set foot in again. “Either way we should just skip through it. We have all the supplies we need in the cart. It would only be a risk to stop there.”

“No need to insist so much.” Alucard replied with a nod. “I can see you don’t want to linger there, for whatever reason. It’s fine. We should hurry to your old home as quickly as we can anyway.”

Trevor nodded silently, mentally thanking the vampire for his understanding and respect for not asking anymore about it. “You should go wake her up.” 

“Why should I be the one to wake her up?” He eyed him suspiciously.

“Why not?” Trevor replied with a smirk. He wasn’t sure why he enjoyed the look of doubt on Alucard’s face as much as he did. In the end the blond sighed and got up, walking up to the wagon to rouse their companion. 

Trevor smiled to himself, staring at the fire, trying to feel at ease with the conflicting emotions inside him. In a way still very uneasy about all this, while at the same time feeling a lot more at peace with it then during the night. He had a million other things to worry about anyway, namely their closeness to the estate. It dawn on him just how close they were and how fucking  _ scared  _ he was of setting foot on the ashes covered lands of the once mighty Belmont family again… 

He remained immobile for a long while, lost in thought. He faintly heard Alucard and Sypha talking together in the cart. Still it twisted his insides uncomfortably, but he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. None of your business,  _ none of your business _ he repeated like a mantra, until he heard someone clearing his throat behind him. He jumped slightly, turning back with a raised brow. 

“We… might have a slight problem on our hands.” Alucard said with a grave tone that made Trevor sit up straight.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Well, you should come see for yourself.” Was all he said before turning back to the cart and pulling the covers away from the entrance. 

Trevor frowned at him as he got to his feet. He walked up to the wagon and peeked inside, seeing Sypha clutching his cloak around her tightly. She was still shivering, her breathing was shallow, her face was red and she was coughing… 

She looked up at him sheepishly and Trevor frowned even more.

“Are you… are you sick?”

Sypha closed her eyes and grunted. 

“Are you serious?” Still no reply, from neither of his companions. “You went to sleep without a blanket like a moron and you caught a cold? You caught a cold on our way to save the world? Is that what happened?”

“Well, it might not be  _ just _ the lack of blankets but…” Alucard whispered, looking away from them both. Trevor mentally slapped himself before he could think in more details of what he meant. Of maybe being naked all night in the cold, before he saw them cuddling? He swore to God if she got sick frolicking in the night...

“Yeah, you’re right, it’s not  _ just  _ the fucking blankets.” He said, pushing his thoughts away. “It’s what you get from walking around in fucking  _ sandals _ in fucking winter!” He exclaimed, raising both hands in the air in exasperation. 

Sypha groaned half in annoyance, half in resignation, before mumbling in a shaky voice. “It’s not even winter anymore.”

Trevor just groaned back with a roll of his eyes. She could be such a moron. They were all a bunch of morons. The world didn't stand a chance if  _ they _ were its only hope...  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You really think they're going to clear out misunderstandings that easily? Also, yes, I'm fitting as many trope as I can in this. Sue me.


	15. Oh no...

“Is she finally asleep?”

“It seems so. Asleep or passed out perhaps.”

“Well, either way is fine.”

“Restful sleep and feverish unconsciousness are two very different things Trevor and one of them is _not_ fine.”

“If it means she’ll stop trying to get up and move around like the stubborn pig head she is then it’s all the same to me.”

“Keep your voice down then, before you wake her.”

Sypha heard Trevor grunt as a reply while she remained quiet in the back of the cart. She was in fact not sleeping at all, but her body did feel like a pile of bricks. Her throat was as coarse as sand and she didn’t trust herself to speak up in fear of falling into a coughing fit again. 

Her current predicament was, for lack of a better word, shitty. When Alucard came to wake her up this morning, she knew this day would only go from bad to worse. A feverish feeling, coughing fits, stuffy nose, sensible skin… she was forced to accept the fact that she had gotten herself sick, as Trevor so eloquently pointed out upon discovering her state. 

He complained again and again about how all this could have been avoided if she had just been more careful. “How can a speaker fall sick from the cold?” “Don’t you _live_ in a caravan?” “You praise yourself in being the responsible one and there you went and fell sick like a toddler too excited to go play in the snow without boots!” were among some of his oh so useful comments. She already felt stupid enough as it is, she didn’t need him telling her like he was suddenly the backbone of this group. It was infuriating coming from him. From the manchild who always complained that he didn’t need to bath or sleep or eat vegetables. From the wreck who had approximately 2 ounces of self preservation health wise in his whole two hundred and something pound body. He didn’t get to suddenly act like a responsible adult man, that’s not how it worked! If it wasn’t for her, Trevor and Alucard would still be in Gresit without a cart or supplies, stuck in their metaphorical pissing contest! That this… this _rat man_ would have the audacity to treat her like a child now was making her blood boil. 

It was all the more frustrating when she didn’t have the strength to unleash her fury and that she was now literally trapped in a bundle of blankets like a babe freshly out of her mother, courtesy of Alucard.

“To keep you warm.” He had said.

“And to keep you from running around.” Trevor had added, making her glare at him in hope that she would suddenly realize she could make things catch on fire with her eyes alone. It wasn’t the case unfortunately. 

The two men had discussed the situation as if she wasn’t there, only increasing her level of irritation. She tried to show them she was fine by getting up to handle the horses and get ready to continue, but Trevor picked her up like a potato sack and threw her back inside the wagon, yet again _increasing significantly her level of irritation._ He was lucky she felt weak because she would have burned his ass and turned his trouser to ashes! As it was, she was condemned to let herself be thrown around like a doll and there was no word to describe how she _hated it._

Alucard, always being the reasonable one, tried the polite approach while Trevor physically prevented her from leaving the cart. Using rationality and logic, he told her she needed to rest and all that. He was right and she didn’t like it either. So she argue some more with him, shouted at Trevor in frustration, tried to pretend she was fine until her coughing fit got so bad she thought she was going to suffocate right there on the spot. The way they both looked at her with a mixture of worry and fear was what undid her in the end… 

She had reluctantly let herself fall on her ass in the cart, defeated, as Alucard asked her a bunch of questions with Trevor just standing there with his arms crossed like a damn prison guard. Mister ‘my mother was a doctor so I know what I’m talking about’ asked if she had chest pain, nausea, phlegm when she coughed, that kind of thing. Once reassured that she would not die from her sickness in the next few days, he politely but _strongly_ recommended for her to lie down and rest. 

And so she had let him put her out of commission _like a child_ , under Trevor grouchy but relieved gaze. 

They proceeded to continue their journey, leaving Sypha in the back to rest. Every once in a while Alucard came to check on her, gave her salty water to gargle while complaining about their lack of honey, gave her rags to blow her nose and all around being a good little doctor even if there wasn’t much he could do. They would have to wait for it to pass while making sure it didn’t evolve into something worse, or so he said. Not that Trevor didn’t care, on the contrary, except he was acting a lot more grumpy about it. He was like an exasperated mother. He even stopped midday to camp so he could make her soup. Granted, it felt amazing in her throat and cold limbs. And it tasted like food to boot, to her surprise! From this and the rabbits he prepared yesterday, she was angry to admit that Trevor’s cooking skills were far superior to her own… 

She did manage to rest a little bit, but she felt so uncomfortable it was difficult. That, and she had so much on her mind it was hard to make her brain stop for more than 5 seconds to actually fall asleep… 

Her brain felt like a traitor, set on doing one thing and one thing alone; thinking about the vampire sitting in front of the wagon right now. About him and the vulnerability he had showed her last night. About his honesty, the way he looked at her and the way he acted so scared of losing her respect. The way he touched her so hesitantly, the way he confessed his fears, the way he held her against him into one of the most comfortable embrace she had felt in a while. The way he smiled at her so genuinely and softly whispered “My mother would have been very fond of you… as I find myself to be as well.” 

The memory alone was making her stomach twist and heat rise to her cheeks again. If she lingered on the memory of his lips on her arm, of his fangs piercing her skin and her life slipping away into his mouth, then she felt heat in more than just her cheeks. 

It was full of implications she was unsure how to assimilate. The simple explanation was that she liked it. The underlying message was less simple.

Alucard told her that vampires bites were more pleasant than one might think and she tried holding onto this explanation despite how underwhelming it seemed compared to how she felt. Because yes, it had been pleasant, but that could be said about a lot of things. About a nice walk in the forest in spring. About a meal, a warm bath or a nap. To say her experience was simply _pleasant_ seemed like an understatement.

The sounds that came out of her mouth and the lava bursting in her guts were more than pleasant. The gentleness of the bite itself and the erotism of his tongue in the crook of her arm, despite the pain, could only remind her of a lover’s mouth on her skin. She didn’t have the presence of mind to feel embarrassed about it when it happened, too lost in how good it felt, but now in hindsight the whole situation should have made her drop dead from excess of shame. 

She felt she should see this as something more… innocent? He had been starving and she offered to help, nothing more. This should have been like sharing her bread… except the bread was her blood and she had to get herself liked and sucked to give it?

Alright. It was nothing like it. 

It shouldn’t have felt as good as it did. No matter how intimate the ordeal had felt, it was not normal for her to compare this feeling of numbness and contentment to those same feelings felt in the aftermath of a perverse and forbidden encounter in the middle of the forest, leaving her yearning for more against all logic.

It shouldn’t have felt like this. Right?

Would she have felt the same being bitten by any other vampire? She probably wouldn’t have survived it in this case. She still couldn’t wrap her head around how dangerous it had been. It was all fine and good now, but back then what certitude did she have that he would not suck her dry and leave her dead right there on the spot? She had been defenseless, so utterly at his mercy, and she put herself there willingly. Maybe Trevor wasn’t the only one with poor self preservation instinct.

She had been curious and eager to help someone who appeared so scared and exposed. She had seen herself in him and so she had trusted him. It was a leap of faith and now she was left with the realization that she would do it again in a heartbeat. That she would offer it willingly at the slightest sign that he might need it. She would let him bite her because she trusted him. Because she wanted to help him and show him that this changed _nothing_ to how she perceived him. That he was not more of a monster for this, it was just who he was.

And she would let him bite her again if only to hear his muffled moan of satisfaction against her skin as her blood coated his mouth that had made the hair on the nape of her neck stand on end...

She refrained from grunting out loud at her thoughts, not wanting the subject of her torment to see she was awake and maybe engage in idle conversation she was unprepared to deal with. She should have been ashamed at how she tried so hard to deny her feelings. Deny the fact that deep down she knew she would let him bite her again simply because she had selfishly _loved_ it. 

_God she had loved it._

Her thoughts were quickly spiraling into unsavory territory best left alone when she _wasn’t_ alone, which was the case right now. She should have felt ashamed, afraid, regretful. She should have been feeling something, _anything_ , beside a perverse curiosity to know how it would feel to have his fangs in her neck instead. 

Was it even his fangs she craved, or simply the warmth of his mouth against her skin?

It felt like her fever had suddenly gotten worse. Like all this was some kind of feverish delirium. She wished she had the denial capacity to blame it all on her condition, but she knew better. 

She respected Alucard for who he was. She cared about him and loved sharing time with him. Every moment spent in conversation with the man was a delight and his presence, even if somewhat cold, was a comfort in the knowledge that they understood each other. Even more so after last night. None of those feelings were new, but now it all seemed to blend together with this feeling low in her stomach that seemed so inappropriate. 

She was almost grateful for Trevor’s presence right now. It had prevented them from talking about any of it because obviously Alucard had not talked to him about the delicate truth. She had to admit his little secret gnawed at her insides, but for now she welcomed the lack of complication. 

She had promised not to tell Trevor and so she kept quiet, firmly believing that it was not her place to tell him anyway. Also partially because it was the easiest thing to do. Deep down, she _really_ didn’t want to be the one to tell him. In an ideal world, she would prefer not to be there at all when it happened. She had reacted rather badly at the truth at first, but it was nothing compared to how Trevor was sure to react. She caught herself wondering if, at that point, it was best to simply leave him in the dark until this was all over like Alucard wanted.

Well, they would cross that bridge when they’d come to it, if they did.

She heard a faint sound of tapping on the top of the wagon, forcing her to open her eyes groggily to see it had started to rain lightly. She heard Trevor complain barely a moment later, because that’s all he seemed to be doing today. 

“Are you serious? Why is it raining? It’s so freaking cold it should be snowing at that point.” The irritation was evident in his voice. 

“You should get in the cart, you’ll get yourself sick too at this rate.” Alucard pointed out.

“It takes more than a little rain to make me sick.” The shivers in his voice were less than convincing. “What about you? Can you even get sick?”

“No, I’ve never contracted any human disease before. And I don’t feel the cold.”

“Well that’s awfully convenient. Believe me, this rain is _freezing,_ fuck…”

“You should really get inside.”

“And let _you_ drive? Do you even know how?”

“It can’t be that difficult if _you_ ’ _re_ doing it.”

She picked up on the exasperated groan that left Trevor’s lips and was about to open her mouth, telling those two children to stop bickering and be nice to each other, but the laugh that reached her ears shortly after stopped her. She smiled to herself, listening to both of their laugh echoing in harmony together. It almost felt like a hallucination to hear Trevor’s hearty chuckle alongside Alucard’s own polite and restrained one. 

How far they had come. 

She could understand why Alucard didn’t want to lose this. She wouldn’t want to either… 

Their laughter died out and after another comfortable silence, she heard Alucard clear his throat. He spoke barely above a whisper and she had to strain her ears to listen. “You mentioned a settlement down this road, before we reach your old home.”

“I did.”

“Are we close to it?”

“Yeah…” The man hesitated and she could feel the discomfort in his voice, making her listen with more attention. “We’ll be there before nightfall actually.”

“You didn’t seem very keen on stopping there.”

There was another long pause before Trevor replied, his voice dropping even lower. “No. No I wasn’t.”

“I’m sure you have your reasons and I know I said that our mission was time sensitive, but if we don't want Sypha’s condition to worsen by the time we reach your home… it would be wise to-”

“I know. I fucking know.” Trevor’s deep exhale interrupted him. “The wind is fucking freezing and the rain is even worse, blankets won't be enough to nurse her back to health. Our cart isn’t fit for this weather. We have to get her somewhere warm as soon as possible. So…” Another pause filled with another grave sigh. “So we should stop there. See if there are still people. If not then we’ll just squat a house until she gets better. If there _are_ people then… well, we’ll see.”

“Do you think they’ll recognize you? Is that why you don’t want to stop?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I mean, I never went back there. There’s no reason they would recognize me. Even if they did…" He sighed again. She was losing count of how many heavy breaths were leaving his lips at this point. "Anyway. Honestly I have no good reason for not wanting to go there, just bad memories. But I'll do anything for her- I-I mean… to get her back on her feet, that is…" He cleared his throat and grunted. "We need her and I’ll never be able to forgive myself if something happened to her. Get herself killed by the Lord of darkness saving humanity? At least that’s a badass way to go down. Dying because she got sick and it deteriorated out of control? Her grandfather will never let me live this down.” 

Sypha couldn’t help but giggle quietly at the words, smiling widely at Trevor’s reasoning. Alucard laughed softly too, keeping his voice low.

“I would never forgive myself either. Let’s make sure she goes back to her family on her two feet, safe and sound.”

There was a long moment of silence on Trevor’s part until he finally whispered with a strange sadness to his tone. “Yeah. She's got people waiting for her. I'll have her see them again even if it's the last thing I do. I can do that, at the very least.” 

The two men fell silent after that, leaving Sypha to ponder on this strange note in Trevor’s voice, on the meaning of his words. Although it was difficult to concentrate on anything but her heart that felt like it was melting in her chest.

It could be so easy to forget how much Trevor was able to care. It was his own attitude that forced her into this illusion. He had already saved her life more than once. He had helped the citizens of Gresit, came with them on this journey, started climbing up his own pit full of personal demons that she couldn’t even begin to picture the depth of. 

He made her soup. If that didn’t show he cared nothing would honestly.

He might be infuriating sometimes and clumsy in his display of concern, but his heart was in the right place. He was a better man now than when she had met him. He was finer a man than most she had met in her life, despite all his flaws. She cared about him more than she had cared about most men in her life too… 

She cared about both of them. Both had accepted her and trusted her and respected her. They had bled and fought together as equals. They had both shown her a vulnerability in their own way too. Now she found herself at their mercy and she couldn’t help but feel warm all over, both in body and mind, from all the concern they had shown today. Yes, it was maddening how she hated being treated like a child, being sick and feeling stupid and fragile and useless because of it. But all things considered, their attention was reassuring. Their hushed words now about her wellbeing were overwhelming and while she hated to worry them, it still felt good to see them care so much. See that they had her back, whatever may come. 

She was going to have theirs, no matter what. She would burn Dracula’s entire castle to the ground if it meant she could protect them. The simple thought of it was making her see red, making her heart beat angrily against her sternum as if trying to get out to extract an imaginary vengeance. What would she do if they died at his hand? The thought was unbearable in such a visceral way, she could feel her eyes water just imagining what it would be like. To lose the two people she had felt the most comfortable with her entire life scared her and she couldn't understand why she was suddenly tormented with this possibility. Hit in the gut with the realization of how much they meant. Of how much she couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to either of them. Of how much she loved th-

How much she loved them?

Oh no…

It was like an epiphany. Like a vague feeling of realization washing over her, leaving an incomprehensible dread behind at the implication of it all. Pieces of a puzzle falling into place. She turned on her side and looked up to stare at Trevor and Alucard’s back, still somewhat confused at the way her heart skipped a beat at the simple sight of them. Confused, or perhaps simply unwilling to understand despite all the pieces now neatly fitting into one another.

As if feeling her eyes on him, Trevor rested his elbow on the bench to look behind him. Their eyes met and he smiled. Not a smug smirk but a genuine smile, all gentleness and soft blue eyes. Her heart skipped several beats and she swallowed hard unconsciously, the butterflies furiously flying around in her stomach picking up the pace when Alucard looked back as well with worry and affection swirling in the golden pool of his gaze… 

Oh no…

* * *

Alucard was mentally biting every single one of his nails through their whole day of travel. His anxiety over his situation had been more easily forgotten in the morning as he took care of Sypha, ignoring the tension between them that he hoped wasn’t too evident. Then he was left sitting next to Trevor on the front seat to let her rest and it only made him panic a bit more with each passing minute. He felt this heavy pressure on himself, a pressure coupled with a feeling of impending doom like a sword was dangling right above his neck. The unease he felt from Trevor’s gaze alone was so overwhelming he found himself avoiding it altogether. It was as if the man knew… but that was impossible. He would have confronted him if he did, brought him deep in the wood tied with his whip and threatened to pull his fangs out if he didn't explained himself. He could clearly hear it in his head. Trevor's exact voice saying 'you bloodsucking piece of shit better have a good reason for lying to my face'. He wasn’t afraid of a fight with the hunter, on the contrary, but he would prefer it to be an honest rematch until one yields than an all out battle to the death with insults to match. 

But no. Trevor was acting strange, but amiable. Distant, but friendly enough. So Alucard was left trying to convince himself everything was fine… even if it wasn't at all.

He could hear Sypha’s voice in his head too saying _‘talk to him_ ’. He tried, somewhat. They made light conversation, more than they had ever done without Sypha there to help the communication process. She was half passing out in the wagon from her fever that had gotten worse. She was usually the one he and Trevor talked with the most on their own and when it was the three of them, she always connected everyone together. Now without her, the task of interacting with Trevor on his own felt arduous. 

He had to remind himself that it was his own fault. If he hadn’t lied in the first place none of this would feel as awkward and wrong as it was. 

And yet the moment he opened his mouth to broach the subject, to maybe come clean, his throat constricted painfully and the way Trevor’s icy eyes locked on him with a questioning air made his mind divert the course of his thoughts into something else entirely. The day went by, and he found himself in the same position he was at the beginning of the day: tangled in his own lie.

The sun was starting to set when Trevor stopped the cart with a deep sigh. 

“Do you see it?” He asked, pointing further down the road.

Alucard looked up and spied smoke coming from a few houses far away. He squinted, using his powers to see better in the distance. When Trevor spoke of a settlement, he still expected a bigger village than this. He could see maybe ten small houses gathered around the remnant of a townsquare. One was bigger than the others and another seemed to be some kind of church. It was very modest, made of wood and with no distinction as to its function but the cross nailed to the roof rather crudely, as if it had fallen many times only to be stubbornly put back in place. There were signs that once upon a time more houses stood on the outskirts, but now it all looked more like a strange homestead than a settlement. He glanced back at Trevor with a questioning look.

“That is… a very small settlement.”

“Yeah, well, it was bigger than that when I was a brat. This used to be Belmont lands. When they excommunicated us, most people living on said lands didn’t really feel like sticking around to see if they’d be struck down by God’s wrath or burned and buried next to their lord. Most villages around the estate are ghost town now. But the smoke… seems like some people decided to stay. I’m surprised.” He scoffed as he jumped down the cart. “But not that much.”

“Why?” Alucard asked as he moved off his seat to follow the man, confused both by his statement and the fact that they had stopped so far away from said ‘settlement’. 

Trevor shrugged as he walked to the back of the wagon. “People living here were the most… partisan to our family. If anyone would be willing to stay on cursed Belmont lands, it would be them. I guess I’m just surprised they survived that long.” 

Alucard looked inside the wagon at Sypha, who was still bundled up in her blankets. She had her eyes closed and she was shivering. She looked much worse than she had been today… 

“What now?” He asked as he turned back toward Trevor who shook his head like a dog, sending frozen little droplets flying around him. He passed a hand through his wet hair, slicking them back out of his face with a tired sigh. 

“I’ll go alone first. See what we're stepping into."

“Why would you go alone?”

Trevor scoffed at his question. “Look at yourself Alucard. You reek nobility, in a very weird kind of way, which is never a good thing to peasants. You’re like a gold coin in a bag of pebbles. It’s just suspicious as hell.”

“You say that like you’re not suspicious yourself.”

“As long as they don’t see my family crest, I’m just a drifter like any other.” He pointed out with a shrug. “I’ve done this my entire life. Get in town, get a feel of the place, get a load of the local rumors, blend in. I’ll come up with something to get us a cozy little spot, don’t worry about it. You just stay with Sypha and lay low until I come back. ”

Alucard considered his words as Sypha weakly protested, her voice sounding like an older version of herself.

“W-We don’t need t-to… to stop. I-”

“Sypha.” Trevor stopped her before she could try to say whatever it was she was trying to say. “You look like shit and I know you feel like shit. You need a warm place away from this freezing wind. You think you can take on Dracula like this? You want to cough on him and hope he’ll fall sick, is that you plan?”

She glared at him, but was too much in a bad shape to respond. She closed her eyes with a grunt, hiding her face in her blankets. 

“Very well.” Alucard climbed inside the cart and sat next to Sypha, looking back at Trevor with a skeptical look. “Go work your hobbo magic Trevor.” He said with a smirk, to which the hunter replied with a middle finger.

“Fuck you.”

He was about to leave, hand on his whip, but seemed to remember something at the last second and looked back at Sypha with a wince.

“Erm… one last thing. If we end up staying there, we’ll have to be careful about all that blue robe of yours.” He said, gesturing at her vaguely. “If they are the same folks that used to live there back then, they _do not_ like speakers. So let’s stay mindful of that.”

“You’re bringing her into a speaker hating village? Is that wise?”

“A-all… villages are sp-speaker hating villages…” Sypha pointed out with difficulty. “Don’t worry I-I’m used to… to it.”

Trevor nodded and Alucard hated how they both accepted this so easily, but he refrained from commenting.

“And um…” The man cleared his throat as he untied his whip from his belt, handing it over to Alucard with tense muscles. “I’ll need you to hold on to this.”

Alucard stared at the weapon in confusion. Confusion and incredulousness. “I-I’m sorry?”

“They’ll know who I am if they see that. For now… it would be best if they didn’t.” He moved his whip further toward him and Alucard reluctantly took it. Even through the fabric of his glove, the holy magic of the leather seemed to seep through and poison his skin. It made him extremely uncomfortable to hold such a weapon between his fingers and extremely honored to have Trevor trust him enough to guard it. But mostly he felt uncomfortable and promptly but gently placed it inside the cart. 

When Trevor was done eyeing his whip and fondling the empty spot at his belt with a dejected expression, he took a deep breath and nodded. “If I’m not back in the morning, assume the worst.”

And with that he was gone, tightening his cloak around him as he walked toward the little town with what Alucard perceived as a fake assurance in his steps. He wasn’t sure what was Trevor’s history with the place, but he could guess that it was taking the man much effort to set foot there again. 

And now he… he was left alone with Sypha.

Somehow that didn’t feel like an improvement. He never thought he would miss the other man’s presence but after what happened last night, he was somewhat dreading to be alone with her. Because now he had to talk with her. Apologize. Apologize for this whole catastrophe that was most certainly his fault. He looked down at her, noticing how she avoided his gaze. Her face was red and he could see she was trying to keep herself from coughing. 

“I… I’m sorry about all this.” He mumbled. The girl simply looked up at him with apprehension.

“A-About what?” Her sentence was punctuated by a cough so wet it was as if there was water in her lungs.

“Your condition.”

She laughed weakly, not understanding him. One of her hand left her blanket to wave dismissively at his words. “What are you t-talking about. You didn’t make me s-sick Alucard.”

“Not directly, but I didn’t help either…” He whispered, hesitantly catching her hand in his own. He felt her twitch at the contact and he immediately regretted it, letting her go as soon as he had taken hold of her. “I… When I drank from you, it might have weakened you so much that it made you sick. Or at least more prone to fall sick.”

She blinked at him, then looked down at his hand. Slowly and shakily she reached for it, placing her hand on top of his with a strange smile. “Aren’t you exag-ggerating a little now?”

“I’m not. There are… _things_ in your blood that defend you against illness. I took so much from you-” The guilt of how much he had drank from her hit him again with full force and he looked away from her. He still resented himself for losing control over his impulse like that. God he would have never forgiven himself if he really hadn’t stopped soon enough. He was already having a hard time forgetting himself as it was. His hand instinctively tightened around hers. “You don’t catch a cold so quickly. You were probably already combatting something and with your system so vulnerable after I drank from you, you were left defenseless against it. Your night in the cold didn’t help either, surely, but I’m entirely to blame for that too. I’m entirely to blame for all of it…”

He chanced a glance back down at her and he saw her eyes almost sparkling. More alert than she had appeared moments ago. 

“Things in my blood? W-What things?” She asked eagerly, catching Alucard off guard. 

“I… it’s complicated.” He caught himself before he could say something that would make her angry, like ‘you wouldn’t understand’, remembering who he was talking to. “They are um… cells? Little pieces of you so small you can’t see them with your eyes. They move in your blood and attack intruders like bacteria.”

She looked dumbfounded. “W-What’s a bacteria?”

Alucard couldn’t keep his composure and a small snort escaped him as he smiled at her so fondly he felt his heart was going to burst out of his chest to get closer to her. “They are… what can cause sickness.”

Sypha seemed to ponder his words, trying to take a deep breath only to cough and tremble more violently. She nodded as she stared back at him, smiling with all the features of her face. “There’s so m-much you know that we don’t. When this is all over, you’ll have to teach m-me all of it. You know, as a w-way to apologize for making me sick, apparently. I expect very personal lessons”

She winked at him and even though this effect was somewhat ruined by the way her voice sounded like gravel rolling on bricks, Alucard still had to restrain himself from physically putting his hand on his chest as if to hold his heart in place in his ribcage. Was that… was she flirting with him?

That seemed… unlikely. It was more convenient to assume he was reading too much into this. He probably was…

He searched for his words as if her wink had magically reduced his cognitive function so that he didn’t remember how to talk anymore. In a great mental effort of casualness he met her gaze with a nod and a smile. He got lost in her blue ocean eyes for a second before he could speak again, his voice coming out in a whisper. “I’d love to teach you about a great many deal of things-”

Her eyes widened ever so slightly for a fraction of a second and he stopped, realizing the perhaps… _slight_ innuendo in his words. The blush of her cheeks spread to the rest of her face almost comically and she laughed it off, looking away and hiding the lower half of her face in the blankets. “I can’t wait for this to be over then.” She mumbled between two coughs, her hidden smile evident in the crease of her eyes. 

Alucard looked intently at the cart’s cloth wall, clearing his throat and trying to smother the feeling in his stomach. He was dealing with this sensation too much since last night. He had a feeling she was doing it on purpose and it was confusing. He didn't have the courage to bring it up, too scared that he was once again reading too much into it.

Again, he probably was… 

Damn him and his lack of human interaction understanding... 

He felt her squeeze his hand, realizing that he had been holding hers the whole time and that she was doing no movement to get out of his hold, on the contrary. He had no desire to let go either. An awkward silence stretched between them as the orange light of sunset slowly dimmed inside the caravan. 

“Your hand is r-really cold.” She whispered between shivers, closing her eyes in the process. Still, she didn’t let go. Even with his gloves, the coldness of his not quite dead not quite living body was evident. He had never pondered much on it, but Sypha’s body heat spreading into his arm made him wish he could warm her like she warmed him. 

And… he could?

The idea burst in his mind as if out of nowhere. It was kind of foolish. It would require him to use valuable magic powers that he had barely replenished thanks to Sypha’s blood. Powers he would need, that he would prefer to keep for the battle ahead. Considering what happened, he had no intention of drinking from Sypha again, so it made her blood in his system all the more precious. 

But wasn’t it fair to use it to make her feel better? It would be kind of poetic he supposed… 

Or maybe it was all just excuses to do it because he just really wanted to do it. 

He spared a glance toward her, laying down with her eyes closed and the blankets bundled under her chin. Every breath she exhaled made her lips trembled and her hand on his was starting to lose its warmth. 

He reached inside him, pulling on the strands of magic in his blood to summon his powers. It was easier than it usually was and he wondered for an instant if Sypha’s magic was adding to his own abilities. If her blood kept some semblance of magical residue even if separated from its source. 

If that was the case, then magicians were probably very prized vampire targets… 

It only made him sick at the idea of taking advantage of her powers in a way maybe other vampires had done to unsuspecting victims for their own gain. It only made him want to vomit all that blood and give it back to her somehow. That was less than possible, and disgusting in imagery, so he opted for the next best thing. Use it for her. 

And after all, he had a promise to fulfill. 

Tinglings spreaded throughout his body as it transformed. His vision changed, colors blending together and his night vision sharpening tenfold. It assaulted his mind with too much information, forcing him to close his eyes. His ears grew and the sounds of distant animals reached him as he felt heat wash over him. The magic enveloping him lulled him into a pleasant stupor for an instant before every one of his senses became much too aware of everything around him. He kept his eyes closed at first, uncomfortable in the cramped space he found himself in while taking this form, until he heard Sypha take a sharp intake of air. 

“A-Alucard?”

He looked down at her as he tried to sit comfortably despite the tip of his ears poking at the wagon’s roof. His tail was squeezed behind him against the wall and his body screamed for him to stretch his limbs. There was no place for that unless he walked all over Sypha, which he had no intention of doing, so he remained awkwardly slouched. She looked up at him with awe, half sitting on shaky arms. She stretched a hand toward him hesitantly and he instinctively closed the distance between her fingers and his snout. She gasped softly as her lips curved into a large smile and she laughed just as softly. Her eyes met his, her hand sliding to the top of his head and ruffling his fur along the way. When her fingers scratched behind his ear, his body tensed and he closed his eyes, trying very hard to stop his tail from wagging like an overexcited puppy. The confined space he found himself in helped for that… 

“I knew it.” She said in a giggle. “I-I knew you were an adorable f-fluffy thing as a dog.” Alucard growled low in his throat at her choice of word, hoping to sound playfully outraged. Sypha laughed at the reaction. “Wolf. I-I mean wolf, of course”

He leaned into her touch for a moment. Her arm was shaking and she had trouble staying upright to reach him, reminding him or why he was doing this in the first place. He reluctantly moved away from her, placing a paw on her stomach to force her back down, then proceeded to curl up against her. Sypha was a small woman, but in this form she seemed even smaller. It made it all the more easy for him to get comfortable around her body, resting his head on his paw. The realization of what he was doing hit her and she smiled fondly at him, face red from her forehead to neck, as she buried her face in his fur. 

“Thank you.” She whispered, running her fingers through his pelt with a hesitant hand. It didn't take long before she started petting him absentmindedly, leaving him conflicted as to whether he should be insulted at being petted like a dog or accept the fact that it felt nice.

It felt _really_ nice. 

Alucard closed his eyes, feeling her whole body pressed against him in a sleepy hug and the heat between them spreading to his mind, as if it physically could. He could feel and hear her heart beating so, _so_ fast. 

Was it normal for a human heart to beat so fast at rest? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's incredible how I don't know what I'm doing with this anymore but I'm still going!


End file.
